Humanelfdwarfdragonlord - Nightmare

hey can you stop placing your palm on my abdomen over the location of my womb and salivating and letting your eyes glaze over with possessive ill intent when i'm talking to you

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

bucky in fic: steve u asshole u could’ve been killed! what were u thinking? let me bandage u up and get u a nice cup of tea, i love u so much

actual bucky:

Bitches be trying to make everything right while giving the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. It’s me, I’m bitches.

I need to talk about this exchange:

Look at Aziraphale's face and tell me if he was actually talking about real, honest-to-somebody oysters.

That first little 😳 face of his? To me, that screams, "Did this demon just tell me he's never had sex?" Then he flicks his eyes up Crowley's whole body and his microexpressions seem to say, "Oh, dear Lord, he thinks I'm talking about actual oysters."

And then this pretty little angel who just propositioned a demon is probably internally panicking about needing to find actual oysters now because there's no way he can take this virgin to the Roman orgy like he was planning.

And Crowley is over here just as clueless as always.

Credit to @dailyineffablehusbands for the gifs

Merlin au

Merlin au where everything is the same except Igraine (Arthur's mom) is still alive. So magic is still illegal for some or other reason (I'm thinking someone tried to kill Arthur or Igraine and it just so happens that they were a sorcerer and Uther gets extra protective, Igraine doesn't like it but she understands it to a point). Anyway when she (Igraine)meets Merlin for the first time she looks at him a is just like I know who your daddy is.

One of my fav things from the first Eragon book:

When Eragon sees the Urgal footprint and tells Saphira to get Brom to safety and she just grabs Brom and presses him against her with her wings without telling him why and won't let him go before Eragon tells her to. That's just peak "Eragon and Saphira share one (1) braincell and she didn't have it at that time". Also I wanna know what went on in Broms head. One moment he's making a campfire, the next moment his son's dragon snatches him up and won't let him go.

“This is a love story. A love story between a full-fledged psychopath and someone who has nascent psychopathic abilities . . . it’s a love relationship between two men: one of them is a cannibal, and one of them understands those cannibalistic instincts all too well.” -Bryan Fuller