Duke *about Tim*: Haven't Seen Him Move Yet But I Left Some Coffee Out And I Keep Checking, Hopefully

You changed your url and theme and everything!!! You're a whole new fish! It looks great!

Thank you!! But my threats for you to do homework still stand.

Batfamily car trip headcannons

Car trips are absolutely hilarious with the Wayne family.

Split into two cars; the quiet one and the rowdy one.

Quiet one consists of Alfred, Bruce, Damian, Cass, Barbara & Tim, generally.

Usually has the most people in it.

Anything to get away from possibly ending up in the other one.

Will end up getting outside fifteen mins early to guarantee this.

Rowdy car is Jason driving, Dick, Steph, Duke and once, Tim

First time Tim was very unwilling, Steph dragged him to that car so, whoop that looked like where he staying.

Biggest mistake of his life.

Bass music came on instantly, all the windows down and shouting-singing that was more like screaming.

Hadn’t even left Wayne Manor yet.

Tim made frantic throat slitting motions out the widow which Damian recorded whilst laughing.

A drink had already been spilt on him.

Cass felt sorry for Tim, who was squashed in the middle between Steph and Duke who were both singing off kilter.

Damian vlogged it all.

Tim becomes an even bigger meme as he looked like he was living a nightmare.

Duke also looked a bit scarred, it was his first car trip, he wasn’t used to all the noise...the constant noise.

Honestly? Probably his last in the rowdy car.

Bruce was going to have to buy a bigger truck to hold everyone, because no one wanted to go with Dick, Jason and Steph.

Rowdy car sung ‘I want it that way’ by backstreet boys four times in a row.

Dick looked like he was having the time of his life, Jason thought the whole thing was hilarious, Tim looked like he’d just landed on a different planet.

He never, ever wanted to go in that car ever again.

Give him Bruce’s quiet, air conditioned and leather interior car any day over Jason’s beat up car with suspicious stains on.

The next time Tim got there early, super early.

Damian had to go in the other car.

Well, that didn’t end well.

Drove past them at one point, surprisingly the car was silent, no flailing arms or vibrating beats.

Damian was smirking out the window, waving a freshly ripped AUX cord around.

Dick looked heartbroken until Jason turned the radio on.

They heard Damian’s screams even with all the windows closed.

You can't prove anything

Try me bitch.

House sitting for someone who practically lives in the woods and I have never been more entertained than now just swinging on their rope swing.

@iindigodingo here ya go

fingers in his ass sunday

things damian has learned from his siblings

Dick Grayson.

How to play Mario 64 on Dick’s old N64. Bruce was particularly excited about this development because he would play the same game with his oldest during his Robin days.

How to lead team-bonding with the Titans. He’s still working on how to be an effective leader, but with help from Dick, he’ll get there someday.

Jason Todd.

How to pick locks. Sure, Damian already knew how to get out of simple handcuffs and open some doors. But with Jay’s help, no where is off limits to him. Jason only slightly regrets this when Damian scares the shit out of him when the kid is sitting on his couch in the middle of the night after getting past Jay’s defenses.

How to make Jason’s “special” sandwich. It’s a combination that he came up with in his pre-dead days and only Dami and him seem to enjoy whatever it really is made up of. 

Cassandra Cain.

When to act and when to be silent. He’s learned mostly from observing Cass and mimicking her behaviors.

How to braid hair. He’s always been curious about different hair styles, and the only other person in the manor with long enough hair to braid is Tim, and that was an awkward conversation he was unwilling to have. Instead, he hung around Cass every time she did Babs’s or Steph’s hair. She noticed immediately and started slowing down for him to watch and learn.

Tim Drake.

How to make paper cranes. It’s a compulsive nervous habit Tim has to grab any paper near him and try to fashion it into an origami piece. Dami would collect them when Tim fell asleep and try to reconstruct them with the folds he had made. After multiple failures, he woke Tim up and demanded he teach him. They spent an entire night making an army of paper cranes.

How to make real friends. Damian has always been jealous of how strong Tim’s friendships were, until he realized the root of that jealousy was his longing to have relationships on the same level. Damian’s friendship with Jon is built off of mannerisms he observed between Tim and Kon.

Duke Thomas.

How to enjoy reading. Before meeting Duke, Damian’s bookshelf was full of books about practical information like biology and self defense. Duke is a big reader of all sorts of genres, which piqued Damian’s interest. While his brother was out patrolling, he stole an old sci-fi book from his room and read the whole series in a matter of hours. Duke noticed later that his bookshelf had been slightly rearranged and put the pieces together. Sometimes he buys new books he thinks Damian will like and puts them where he can easily find them.

How to mend clothing. Damian has always been used to receiving new clothing when his current pieces have been torn or ruined in anyway. One day, Duke sat at the kitchen counter sewing a part of the zipper back his favorite hoodie and Damian sat down next to him, determined to fix a jacket of his own.

Anyone got good advice for a cat who goes after the carpet by your door at 5am and wakes you up to be fed? I’ve tried oil and spray but those proved ineffective for repellent and ignoring cat only makes damage to carpet worse. I just want to sleep in without waking up to a cats needs of being fed at 5am instead of maybe 8 or 9am. She can’t sleep in my room due to mom having allergic reaction to cats and so I keep more cat hair off keeping her out.

Activate your boops?

Boop boop

I’d like to thank quizlet for saving me this semester!

There are Monsters in the Dark

[Bruce waking up to Jason looming over him]

Bruce, bleary eyed: Jason? Why- why are you watching me sleep?

Jason: I need your help.

Bruce, groaning: What did you do?

Jason: Excuse you, I did nothing but be my perfect angel self.

Bruce, deadpan: Ah yes, angel and Jason. Two words that are basically synonymous. Well then, my angel child, I'm sure this can wait till tomorrow after I have had at least 3 hours of sleep.

Jason: It actually can't, because there is currently a monster residing under my bed.

Bruce:

Bruce, blinking slowly: Jason, you are 22. There isn't a monster under your bed.

Jason: Oh, silly me, let me just inform the MONSTER under MY BED that there is apparently an age limit on that sort of behavior.

Bruce: You can't be serious, Jay.

Jason: Deadly. Much like the monster under my bed. And as my dad it is your job to get rid of it.

Bruce: *Getting up and angrily putting his robe on* Alfred help you, Jason, if you woke me up at 4 am to kill a spider.

Jason: Firstly, it's not a spider, Bruce. And secondly, there is no need to invoke the name of our lord and savior, Alfred Pennyworth.

Bruce: *rolling his eyes*

[Bruce getting on his knees to check under the bed]

Bruce: See, there's no- F*CK! *Bruce slamming his head against the bed-frame upon seeing Tim dressed as the Joker under the bed*

Jason, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, I should have filmed that.

Bruce, wide-eyed looking at Jason: What is wrong with you?

Jason: So, so many things. But this right here, was genius.

Bruce: Tim! Get out from under the bed, now!

Tim: *Crawling out from under the bed* Sorry, Bruce. But that was pretty funny.

Bruce: No! It wasn't! That is the most horrifying sh*t you two have ever pulled!

Tim: What about that time in-

Bruce: And yes. I am including the incident in Shanghai.

*Tim and Jason grinning and high-fiving*

Bruce: No! No high-fiving! This is not a high-fiving moment! I could have seriously injured, Tim.

Tim, snorting: When? After or before you screamed and hit your head against the bed?

Bruce: *Unimpressed bat-glare*

Bruce: I'm returning you both.

Jason: Sorry, there's a no return policy on broken orphans.

Tim: *snorting and high-fiving Jason again*

Bruce: Stop high-fiving! This is serious!

Jason: Yeah, yeah, Old Man. Save the lecture. We're on a time crunch, we still have to dress Timbers up as Ra's and hide him in the Demon Brats closet.

Bruce:

Bruce: Why are you two like this?

Jason, shrugging: Blame it on the childhood trauma.

[Tim and Jason walking out of the room]

Bruce: Alcohol. I need Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.