There Are Monsters In The Dark

I’m gonna start taxing my siblings if they keep eating my stuff. You eat half then you pay half. Pay me my $2 for the bagel bites you stole from me bitch. I told you last night to not touch them at all.

Update. We’ve consider cat in the hat a horror movie now.

Our horror movie night goes with the second movie being cat in the hat and someone yelling “YOU WILL NOT SIMP FOR LIVE ACTION CAT IN THE HAT!” And someone asking if they can drink my gain laundry detergent. My response was becoming the mom friend and shouting “NNOOOOOO!!!”

We BOTH supposed to be doing homework right now, quit liking my posts I'm not supposed to be making jfsfjzsfs

But considering I just woke up about 10 mins ago and my phone updated so I had to set stuff up I think were both in the same spot.

Nerf Gun Fight (Batboys)

Request: Can you do headcanons for what it’d be like to have a nerf gun war with the boys in the mansion? Who breaks things unnecessarily, who uses someone as a human shield, does dick pretend to die dramatically when he gets shot?

A/N: Not really motivated to write much recently but this was fun!! I am HELLA tired now and this turned into a NERF WAR rather than a single fight but hey, ya can’t complain, right? :D

Tagged: @jason-todd-rh @boosyboo9206 @pooiooi @icequeen206 @sassyshoulderangel319 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation @jaybirdxarsenal @youthbitch @illeatyoursoulwithmustard

[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

Dick Grayson

The one who sees this merely as fun

Bonding Time!!

Expect to be shot from a grown ass man that hangs upside down from a chandelier in a dramatic-ass James bond pose because he WILL

Broke the chandelier bc Dick, you’re not 8 ANYMORE

Made a backstory for his ‘character’ because that’s what this whole thing is missing – extra drama

Faked an accent during the whole thing and is so inconsistent with it that it drove the others NUTS

If his s/o (you) is playing along then he will protect you like you’re some kind of royalty and he’s your devoted knight

Shot you once in the butt when you didn’t look and ran away after that like the cowards he is bc he knew your wrath was now upon him

It became some kind of butt-target-practice between the two of you

Hides in high and impossible places BECAUSE HE CAN

Died dramatically when you finally shot him point blank range

Shrieked, fell to his knees, laying on the ground coughing and gave a dramatic speech with coughs and all the pizzazz

Honestly, the whole thing lasted so long you shot him again bc „Please get it over with, Dick“ „Only if you kiss me.“

Rinse and repeat for EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GOT SHOT

Tim stopped shooting him just so he wouldn’t have to hear him shriek in horror ever again

Jason Todd

The one who goes out to the MAX

Shoots everyone in the face bc he’s obnoxious like that

„JASON! We said no headshots!“ you yell and he shoots you in the face

Got a second gun from SOMEWHERE because he needed to keep his aesthetic ™

Threw his gun at Damian at one point (when he ran out of ammo) and gave him a bloody nose

Somehow ended up with a black eye (see above)

Listen, s/o or not, he will shoot you. Don’t cross him

If you even attempt to shoot him back he will throw his jacket over your head and take you hostage

„If you want to see her alive-„ „Jason… She’s your girlfriend… and she is on your team“ „Don’t fucking interrupt me, Dickhead!“

Ís a hypocrite bc HE can shoot you but if anyone dares to shoot you or just aims at you, they get punched

Whenever he gets shot he refuses to die properly. He just sits down and mumbles something under his breath like “this shit again”

„You have to lay down, that’s the rule.“ „DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW!“

Once accidentally hit you in the eye and everybody stopped in their tracks and pointed their guns at him (once they made sure you were fine)

He died in a hail of nerf-bullets (or darts) while you gave him the finger

Tim Drake

The only one who has a freaking plan

Put traps around the whole mansion like he had this war planned for months

He was prepared™

Doesn’t run out of ammo bc he plans his shots and doesn’t just randomly shootaround (see Dick)

Mainly hides and keeps out of this big feud between Jason and Dick and concentrates more on surviving Damian

Recorded video evidence of Everyone breaking things for future blackmailing (bc you can never have enough material)

Also, the only one who actually teamed up with his s/o bc he’s not stupid? Like, make allies not enemies??

Gives you his nerf-gun occasionally so you can go nuts with two guns and have fun while he prepares his next trap

Only attacks his brothers to make them think it was someone else (for example: threw a shuriken at Jason, making him think it was Damian) and watches the chaos turn into mayhem from the shadows with you

Gives out the most unenthusiastic deaths of them all.

Like he just sighs and lays down face first for the duration of his ‚Death‘ bc this is stupid.

TIMMY PLEASE

Once was lying so long Dick got worried and came out of hiding to see if he was okay

Tim got up, shot him and walked away

Dick was so shocked

Jason laughed so loud at this he blew his cover and Damian found him

Damian Wayne

The one that takes the thing too seriously.

Of course, ALL of them are hella competitive but this boy won’t go down without drawing blood

Turn this fight into a freaking WAR

Kicked Tim out of his hiding spot and into open fire as a distraction to sneak up on Dick

Got shoved (or rather kicked) down the stairs by Tim after that

REVENGE

Used real ass smoke-bombs like What the fuck Damian?!

First one that introduced real weapons into the war

Somehow lodged a BOOK into the wall and nobody knows how, when and why??

The most pissed out of ALL of them when he ‚dies‘

Swears bitter REVENGE and explains to the offending party in detail how he will kill them in return and then actually pulls through with it bc an eye for an eye

It still doesn’t stop Jason from shooting Damian in the face whenever his guard is down tho

Escalated SO MUCH he had to be put in time-out

Meaning: Jason stuffed him into a cupboard and locked it

Damian dislocated Jason’s shoulder for that one

Also, there is now a shredded cupboard door that needs to be explained to Alfred and Bruce (but mainly Alfred)

Breaks the most stuff bc ITS FOR A GREATER CAUSE

Needs to chill

You have to remind him that this is a game at least twice every minute bc he is not very familiar with that concept

“Damian…. Don’t you think this is going too far?” you say when he pulled out something that looked like a grenade

“Tt, don’t be stupid. There is no such thing as going too far.”

Is the reason nerf-guns are banned in the manor

Bruce walked in on a demolished manor and nerf darts all around in the weirdest and most obvious places and when he asked what happened Damian of course tattled

Still thinks he won the war

hi, can you do headcanons where batfamily and maybe some other heroes are scared by Dick's intelligence?

like "my god, I totally forgot that he was a genius"

wally and dick go on a mission in france and while wally is whipping out google translate dick is already like 'bonjour, je cherche un homme qui s'appelle-'

he runs them out to slovenia on a lead and while wally is back to google translate dick is already helping the perp's grandma file her taxes

"how many languages do you speak?" "mentally? two on a good day." "and technically?" "like thirteen? maybe fourteen if i squint?"

wally's like 'not that i expected anything less from you but what the fuck man'

damian assumes dick is ridiculously stupid at first because he's seen dick's file and it's like 'didn't finish college, hasn't had a stable job ever, still doesn't use his trustfund money' so clearly dick is beneath him

but when damian gets completely stumped over a chemical compound he can't identify, dick manages to identify it after 10 seconds of looking and damian's just like "i'm going to idolise the absolute shit out of you from here on out"

steph gives dick her med school homework to prove to bruce that college is really difficult and he just fills it all in in 15 minutes and hands it over while she's still ranting about the work load.

"how can you know this much about neurobiology?" "i dabble"

12 year old dick grayson accidentally solved superman's case because he thought it was clark's crime novel and he's like "clearly this franklin guy killed his brother, his entire alibi is shit, it's too obvious. honestly uncle clark, i know you can write a better story than this."

jason tried to cheat dick out of a win at a pubquiz by switching all the questions with really specific ones and dick still won.

"which country got was group 4's winner in the european football cup of 1996?" "croatia" "how the fuck"

tim knows that technically, dick is a genius, but he's also seen him flying into walls at 60 miles per hour so he's a little skeptical until dick's like "wanna see me hack the pentagon?" and genuinely hacks the pentagon

"Fuckin wild." 😂😂😂

Jason: It’s 2019 why can’t I delete people in real life?

Later

Jason: Ok. So it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.

Brotherly love ft. Tim and Jason 

Stephanie: Yoink is the opposite of yeet.

Jason: But it’s just as fast.

Tim: The lord yeetith and he yoinketh away.

Bruce: I think I’m having a stroke.

I’d like to thank quizlet for saving me this semester!