Batfamily Car Trip Headcannons

Ok so I have an idea for a character and this one has been in my head for a bit.

My OC is Renee Grayson, younger sister of dick grayson. 19 years old and also is a vigilantie that goes by nightingale.

Dick Grayson is a happy ball of sunshine

While Renee is the opposite. Shy, quiet, reserved. Once you get to know her and she’s comfortable around you she will act like a normal human being and be open with you.

Ummm yeah. I’ll try to get more ideas in as I go.

Due to my lack of post today, have some soft Batfam Headcanons

Some of these are mine, others I found

- All the kids have (and will) hide under Bruce’s cape. (Bonus if its everyone at the same time and Bruce is trying hard not to trip over an unseen arm or leg)

- Bruce is like a statue when standing. All the young Robins have taken to climbing him for various reasons (boredom, to get his attention, fear of a spider, ect)

- Jason is a culinary artist. Dick will burn cereal (god help him)

- Damian is four foot nothing and his two older brothers abuse the fact that they can pick him up or toss him onto a couch way too easily

- No one (NO ONE) can sneak up on Alfred. Its impossible. All the Bats have tried, and all have failed.

- Even though only the youngest kids live at the manor, every member of the Batfam has their own room with various belongings in case they need to crash. (Jason took the locks off the windows of his room so he sleeps at the manor way more than anyone realizes. Alfred knows, but says nothing)

- The Bats all have each other’s backs at ALL times. You can’t blindside one Bat because another one is already punching you.

- They take bullets for each other and then argue about it.

- You do not try and wake a Batkid. Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t care how peaceful they look. If you put a hand on them, you will be punched. (Bruce has suffered many bruises because of this). Daddybats is the only one who doesn’t because he can’t risk hitting one of his kids who comes into his room after a nightmare.

- Diana Prince is named Godmother to all the Batchildren in Bruce’s will. Alfred (of course) and Clark are both named Godfather.

- Stephanie runs an anonymous Snapchat for the vigilantes of Gotham. It involves lots of candid videos of Nightwing dancing and other Batkids falling asleep. The Snapchat is followed by almost every citizen of Gotham.

- Jason has been caught several times in public with his siblings by the paparazzi. So they decided he was a “bodyguard” for the Waynes. Of course, his appearance set off several conspiracy theories about Jason Todd’s untimely death, but he looks so much older now no one can be sure.

- Half of Damian’s closet is Dick’s clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, even most of Dick’s old clothes from when he was Damian’s age. One time, Damian took one of Jason’s sweatshirts by mistake. Everyone was too surprised to say anything and Damian was too stubborn to admit his fault. So Jason let him keep it.

- The other Bat guilty of stealing clothes is Cass. She regularly wears her brothers’ clothes, resulting in outfits with Dick’s shirt, Jason’s jacket, Tim’s sneakers and Damian’s scarf. (They think she does it to establish dominance, but she genuinely likes the way all the clothes combine to smell like home)

- Damian snacks constantly, even more than Dick. He’s a growing boy who burns off almost every calorie every night, so he’s eating a hole through Alfred’s pantry. Junk food used to make him sick, but he’s since gotten used to chips and cheese puffs and HOARDS them.

- Jason and Dick are HUGE. Both of them. Dick is 6'0" and though he is more on the slender side, he’s still hella built. Jason is taller by three inches, and much thicker (very much a tank). They unintentionally combine to make a very intimidating presence.

- All the batgirls have muscles that no one would BELIEVE. I’m talking full abs and bicep action. You can’t be skinny trying to throw someone twice your weight.

- Jason (like Bruce) is a softie when it comes to kids. His niece asks to paint his nails neon pink? Knock yourself out kiddo. On the other hand, Tim has no clue how to handle children. He was once left to babysit a kidnapped child while the police showed up and tried making conversation with the two year old about physics (it didn’t work out)

- Bruce has an open door policy for every young hero. No explanation needed. Just ask to stay the night and Alfred will have a bed ready for you in 20 mins.

- Damian and Duke binge watch Disney movies together and Dami will sing along if he’s sleepy.

- Barbara will roll her wheelchair over another sibling’s foot if they piss her off (she makes sure they’re not wearing shoes to ensure maximum damage)

(Sorry for the long post :3 feel free to add your own!)

- Cas

No. You need to do your calc work for class.

Our horror movie night goes with the second movie being cat in the hat and someone yelling “YOU WILL NOT SIMP FOR LIVE ACTION CAT IN THE HAT!” And someone asking if they can drink my gain laundry detergent. My response was becoming the mom friend and shouting “NNOOOOOO!!!”

I have to decide if I hate myself enough to stay up all night rewatching movies 1-3 of Star Wars. I only have 20 minutes left of the first movie.

I’m not gonna die just yet. I have plans.

A guide to working the night shift

Check it there is going to be a full moon. If there is not, go in as normal. You will be okay.

If there will be a full moon, it is essential to follow this guide.

Get lots of sleep the day before.

Bring a fully charged phone, snacks, and water. Do not bring any flavored drink. The spirits will turn it to water, anyway.

About an hour before work, drive to your nearest Church. Do not walk or take the bus. If you must, ignore anyone who tries to talk to you on the way. They will be spirits trying to learn more about you.

Enter the Church and put some holy water on your hand. This will not do particularly anything, but it is nice to have some reassurance.

If there is an old man in the pews, ask him for his greatest piece of advice. If he ignores you, and he will, ask him again. He will tell you to be careful at work tonight. Make sure to thank him for his time, he will appreciate your manners.

Drive to work. Be a bit early, the spirits will not expect you to be early.

If you know your co-worker(s) well, ask them for gum. If they give you mint, back away slowly and continue working as normal. They are a spirit in disguise. Any other flavor, tell them to leave early. Do not take no for an answer.

If you do not know your co-worker(s) well, do not get too attached. They will be dead before 11pm. Do not feel guilty, there is nothing you can do.

Keep an eye on the clock. Do not walk or talk loudly, it can hear you. Do not wonder about what “it” is, you wouldn’t be able to fathom it anyway.

Once the clock hits 11 pm, the lights will go off. Do not worry, they will go back on soon.

When they come back on, your co-workers will be gone. Do not cry. The spirits will not pity you. There will be 3 customers left. 2 are spirits, one is real. You should help the real customer escape, he will give you something you need. However, you cannot leave with them. It will not allow you to.

Approach the first customer. Ask him if he needs any help. Slowly tap your foot while talking with them. If they cover their ears, apologize. They are a spirit. Spirits hate foot tapping. They will not hurt you, at least for now. Repeat until you find the real customer.

Tell the real customer that Bob sent you. He will know what you mean. He will begin to exit the store with his items in hand, unpaid for. Remind him that he must pay. He will glance at you, then begin walking out again. Do not worry, he will have paid you. You will find out what he gave you soon.

Now, you will be alone with the two spirit customers. Relax for a little bit, the worst is yet to come. Drink your water, but not too much. You don’t know what the spirits could have put in there.

Once the clock hits midnight, the lights will shut off again. Except this time they will not come back on. Leave the register, go to the back of the store. You will see a bottle of water that is upside down. Take it and drink it, for that is not water. You will be able to see better now.

Items from the shelves will begin to fall over. Pick them back up. You are, after all, working the night shift. If items from the fridges begin to fall, the spirits are extra angry. You must have wronged them. I told you to follow the guide exactly. I am sorry. Death is not what you should fear. What will happen to you is much worse than death.

If the fridges stay intact, you are safe for now. Do not talk or yell. Do not bother calling the police. Call your mom. Mother knows best. She will pick up. Although, it will not be your mom. Nevertheless, listen to her. She will tell you how to contact the spirits. I cannot share that information with you.

Use her instructions and contact the spirits. Ask them to spare you. They will say no. That is expected.

Spirits do not spare people willingly. They take trades, however. It is not easy to trade with a spirit. They only accept souls. People are only born with one soul, their own.

Put your hand in your right pocket. You will feel something indescribable. Do not pull it out. It is what the real customer paid you with, a soul. Do not feel bad, he has many.

Contact the spirits using the method from before. If you do not remember how there is nothing you can do. I am sorry. Your fate is sealed.

Tell the spirits you have a trade. Take the soul out of your pocket, and hold it up above your head. You will feel your legs begin to weaken. You will fall to your knees, and eventually you will pass out. You will wake up with the soul gone and the lights back on. Continue working as normal, the spirits have spared you.

Do not speak of this event to anyone, the spirits will not take kindly to that. They will appreciate your silence. Make sure to call your mom and thank her. She will not have any idea what you are talking about, but she will appreciate the gesture.

More guides

A Guide to Keeping your Heart Soft

How to enter your subconscious

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

Justice League Meeting

Superman: where's Batman? The meeting was supposed to start 20 minutes ago.

Wonderwoman: could he be in danger?

Green Arrow: someone maybe should call him BEFORE we go into defcon 1

Superman: [calls the bat-line]

Oracle: [answers] this is O. How can I help?

Superman: Hi Oracle. Batman was supposed to be at the tower 20 minutes ago. Do you know where he is?

Oracle: let me check... yeah, he's at the cave, I can connect you to the security cameras?

Superman: Please.

Oracle: ok.

-The batcave shows up on screen, Bruce and some of the kids present-

Batman: [Mid sentence] -OUTRAGEOUS STUNT!!

Damian: [scowling, arms crossed] -tt-

Batman: Do NOT scoff at me, young man!

Jason: [snorts]

Batman: Are you Laughing?! This is reckless even by YOUR standards Jason!

Jason: yeah... but you said-

Batman: [menacing] What?!

Jason: [looks at Dick and mimes "young man"]

Batman: Don't look at-

Dick: [loudly and jovially] THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN

Batman: Wh-

Steph: I said YOUNG MAN [spins to point at Tim]

Tim: [Fingerguns at Steph] Pick yourself off the ground!

Batman: [floundering] En-

Dick: I said YOUNG MAN

Jason: 'Cause you're in a new town!

Duke: [from the locker rooms] There's no need to be unhappy!

Batman: [to Duke] You're not even in trouble!

Steph and Tim: YOUNG MAN there's a place you can go!

Dick: [throws an arm around Jason's shoulders] I said YOUNG MAN! When you're short on your dough!

Jason: You can STAY THERE!

Batman: That's EN-

Dick and Jason: [turn to Damian, grinning expectantly] and I'm sure you will find-!!

Damian: [glaring and without enthusiasm] ...many ways to have a good time.

Batman: Don't-

All the batkids: [chorusing] It's fun to stay at the B-A-T CAVE

Batman: [finally loses it] WHY???!!

-

Superman: ...

Green Arrow: ...well someone has to say it.

The Flash: That he should get an award for parenting that lot?

Green Arrow: that clearly inherited behaviour has nothing to do with genetics. I grew up with Bruce Wayne; he deserves every second of this

Nerf Gun Fight (Batboys)

Request: Can you do headcanons for what it’d be like to have a nerf gun war with the boys in the mansion? Who breaks things unnecessarily, who uses someone as a human shield, does dick pretend to die dramatically when he gets shot?

A/N: Not really motivated to write much recently but this was fun!! I am HELLA tired now and this turned into a NERF WAR rather than a single fight but hey, ya can’t complain, right? :D

Tagged: @jason-todd-rh @boosyboo9206 @pooiooi @icequeen206 @sassyshoulderangel319 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation @jaybirdxarsenal @youthbitch @illeatyoursoulwithmustard

[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

Dick Grayson

The one who sees this merely as fun

Bonding Time!!

Expect to be shot from a grown ass man that hangs upside down from a chandelier in a dramatic-ass James bond pose because he WILL

Broke the chandelier bc Dick, you’re not 8 ANYMORE

Made a backstory for his ‘character’ because that’s what this whole thing is missing – extra drama

Faked an accent during the whole thing and is so inconsistent with it that it drove the others NUTS

If his s/o (you) is playing along then he will protect you like you’re some kind of royalty and he’s your devoted knight

Shot you once in the butt when you didn’t look and ran away after that like the cowards he is bc he knew your wrath was now upon him

It became some kind of butt-target-practice between the two of you

Hides in high and impossible places BECAUSE HE CAN

Died dramatically when you finally shot him point blank range

Shrieked, fell to his knees, laying on the ground coughing and gave a dramatic speech with coughs and all the pizzazz

Honestly, the whole thing lasted so long you shot him again bc „Please get it over with, Dick“ „Only if you kiss me.“

Rinse and repeat for EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GOT SHOT

Tim stopped shooting him just so he wouldn’t have to hear him shriek in horror ever again

Jason Todd

The one who goes out to the MAX

Shoots everyone in the face bc he’s obnoxious like that

„JASON! We said no headshots!“ you yell and he shoots you in the face

Got a second gun from SOMEWHERE because he needed to keep his aesthetic ™

Threw his gun at Damian at one point (when he ran out of ammo) and gave him a bloody nose

Somehow ended up with a black eye (see above)

Listen, s/o or not, he will shoot you. Don’t cross him

If you even attempt to shoot him back he will throw his jacket over your head and take you hostage

„If you want to see her alive-„ „Jason… She’s your girlfriend… and she is on your team“ „Don’t fucking interrupt me, Dickhead!“

Ís a hypocrite bc HE can shoot you but if anyone dares to shoot you or just aims at you, they get punched

Whenever he gets shot he refuses to die properly. He just sits down and mumbles something under his breath like “this shit again”

„You have to lay down, that’s the rule.“ „DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW!“

Once accidentally hit you in the eye and everybody stopped in their tracks and pointed their guns at him (once they made sure you were fine)

He died in a hail of nerf-bullets (or darts) while you gave him the finger

Tim Drake

The only one who has a freaking plan

Put traps around the whole mansion like he had this war planned for months

He was prepared™

Doesn’t run out of ammo bc he plans his shots and doesn’t just randomly shootaround (see Dick)

Mainly hides and keeps out of this big feud between Jason and Dick and concentrates more on surviving Damian

Recorded video evidence of Everyone breaking things for future blackmailing (bc you can never have enough material)

Also, the only one who actually teamed up with his s/o bc he’s not stupid? Like, make allies not enemies??

Gives you his nerf-gun occasionally so you can go nuts with two guns and have fun while he prepares his next trap

Only attacks his brothers to make them think it was someone else (for example: threw a shuriken at Jason, making him think it was Damian) and watches the chaos turn into mayhem from the shadows with you

Gives out the most unenthusiastic deaths of them all.

Like he just sighs and lays down face first for the duration of his ‚Death‘ bc this is stupid.

TIMMY PLEASE

Once was lying so long Dick got worried and came out of hiding to see if he was okay

Tim got up, shot him and walked away

Dick was so shocked

Jason laughed so loud at this he blew his cover and Damian found him

Damian Wayne

The one that takes the thing too seriously.

Of course, ALL of them are hella competitive but this boy won’t go down without drawing blood

Turn this fight into a freaking WAR

Kicked Tim out of his hiding spot and into open fire as a distraction to sneak up on Dick

Got shoved (or rather kicked) down the stairs by Tim after that

REVENGE

Used real ass smoke-bombs like What the fuck Damian?!

First one that introduced real weapons into the war

Somehow lodged a BOOK into the wall and nobody knows how, when and why??

The most pissed out of ALL of them when he ‚dies‘

Swears bitter REVENGE and explains to the offending party in detail how he will kill them in return and then actually pulls through with it bc an eye for an eye

It still doesn’t stop Jason from shooting Damian in the face whenever his guard is down tho

Escalated SO MUCH he had to be put in time-out

Meaning: Jason stuffed him into a cupboard and locked it

Damian dislocated Jason’s shoulder for that one

Also, there is now a shredded cupboard door that needs to be explained to Alfred and Bruce (but mainly Alfred)

Breaks the most stuff bc ITS FOR A GREATER CAUSE

Needs to chill

You have to remind him that this is a game at least twice every minute bc he is not very familiar with that concept

“Damian…. Don’t you think this is going too far?” you say when he pulled out something that looked like a grenade

“Tt, don’t be stupid. There is no such thing as going too far.”

Is the reason nerf-guns are banned in the manor

Bruce walked in on a demolished manor and nerf darts all around in the weirdest and most obvious places and when he asked what happened Damian of course tattled

Still thinks he won the war

One day, Cass is poking around online and she gets a targeted ad for this costume:

So she buys it, because of course she does. Once she receives it in the mail, she puts it on, sneaks into Bruce’s bedroom and wedges herself in the top corner of his ceiling above his bed. Then she waits.

anyway, this is the story of how Bruce fainted and smacked his head on a nightstand—

Numbing my mouth for dental work first thing in the morning apparently makes me tired all day. That or it’s the fact I’ve played nothing but cooking mama and animal crossing all day.

I’m gonna start taxing my siblings if they keep eating my stuff. You eat half then you pay half. Pay me my $2 for the bagel bites you stole from me bitch. I told you last night to not touch them at all.