Activate Your Boops?

Anyone got good advice for a cat who goes after the carpet by your door at 5am and wakes you up to be fed? I’ve tried oil and spray but those proved ineffective for repellent and ignoring cat only makes damage to carpet worse. I just want to sleep in without waking up to a cats needs of being fed at 5am instead of maybe 8 or 9am. She can’t sleep in my room due to mom having allergic reaction to cats and so I keep more cat hair off keeping her out.

Jason walks into the batcave wearing Jorts one day in order to piss off bruce—except Bruce isn’t pissed, he’s terrified. he’s grabbing jason’s lapels, begging him—“for the love of Wonder Woman, if you ever loved me at all dont let your brother see you in those”

But it is too late

Dick has seen everything

“HEY IF HE’S ALLOWED TO WEAR JORTS—“

(Dick walks into the batcave ten minutes later in booty Jorts and jason discovers true fear)

Stephanie: 2020 culture is sitting amongst piles of quarantine junk food in your room on a muted Zoom meeting you're only logged into for the attendance, jamming to the Reading Rainbow theme song in your pajamas while you watch your life fall apart

Original post from @iindigodingo

I’m not gonna die just yet. I have plans.

A guide to working the night shift

Check it there is going to be a full moon. If there is not, go in as normal. You will be okay.

If there will be a full moon, it is essential to follow this guide.

Get lots of sleep the day before.

Bring a fully charged phone, snacks, and water. Do not bring any flavored drink. The spirits will turn it to water, anyway.

About an hour before work, drive to your nearest Church. Do not walk or take the bus. If you must, ignore anyone who tries to talk to you on the way. They will be spirits trying to learn more about you.

Enter the Church and put some holy water on your hand. This will not do particularly anything, but it is nice to have some reassurance.

If there is an old man in the pews, ask him for his greatest piece of advice. If he ignores you, and he will, ask him again. He will tell you to be careful at work tonight. Make sure to thank him for his time, he will appreciate your manners.

Drive to work. Be a bit early, the spirits will not expect you to be early.

If you know your co-worker(s) well, ask them for gum. If they give you mint, back away slowly and continue working as normal. They are a spirit in disguise. Any other flavor, tell them to leave early. Do not take no for an answer.

If you do not know your co-worker(s) well, do not get too attached. They will be dead before 11pm. Do not feel guilty, there is nothing you can do.

Keep an eye on the clock. Do not walk or talk loudly, it can hear you. Do not wonder about what “it” is, you wouldn’t be able to fathom it anyway.

Once the clock hits 11 pm, the lights will go off. Do not worry, they will go back on soon.

When they come back on, your co-workers will be gone. Do not cry. The spirits will not pity you. There will be 3 customers left. 2 are spirits, one is real. You should help the real customer escape, he will give you something you need. However, you cannot leave with them. It will not allow you to.

Approach the first customer. Ask him if he needs any help. Slowly tap your foot while talking with them. If they cover their ears, apologize. They are a spirit. Spirits hate foot tapping. They will not hurt you, at least for now. Repeat until you find the real customer.

Tell the real customer that Bob sent you. He will know what you mean. He will begin to exit the store with his items in hand, unpaid for. Remind him that he must pay. He will glance at you, then begin walking out again. Do not worry, he will have paid you. You will find out what he gave you soon.

Now, you will be alone with the two spirit customers. Relax for a little bit, the worst is yet to come. Drink your water, but not too much. You don’t know what the spirits could have put in there.

Once the clock hits midnight, the lights will shut off again. Except this time they will not come back on. Leave the register, go to the back of the store. You will see a bottle of water that is upside down. Take it and drink it, for that is not water. You will be able to see better now.

Items from the shelves will begin to fall over. Pick them back up. You are, after all, working the night shift. If items from the fridges begin to fall, the spirits are extra angry. You must have wronged them. I told you to follow the guide exactly. I am sorry. Death is not what you should fear. What will happen to you is much worse than death.

If the fridges stay intact, you are safe for now. Do not talk or yell. Do not bother calling the police. Call your mom. Mother knows best. She will pick up. Although, it will not be your mom. Nevertheless, listen to her. She will tell you how to contact the spirits. I cannot share that information with you.

Use her instructions and contact the spirits. Ask them to spare you. They will say no. That is expected.

Spirits do not spare people willingly. They take trades, however. It is not easy to trade with a spirit. They only accept souls. People are only born with one soul, their own.

Put your hand in your right pocket. You will feel something indescribable. Do not pull it out. It is what the real customer paid you with, a soul. Do not feel bad, he has many.

Contact the spirits using the method from before. If you do not remember how there is nothing you can do. I am sorry. Your fate is sealed.

Tell the spirits you have a trade. Take the soul out of your pocket, and hold it up above your head. You will feel your legs begin to weaken. You will fall to your knees, and eventually you will pass out. You will wake up with the soul gone and the lights back on. Continue working as normal, the spirits have spared you.

Do not speak of this event to anyone, the spirits will not take kindly to that. They will appreciate your silence. Make sure to call your mom and thank her. She will not have any idea what you are talking about, but she will appreciate the gesture.

More guides

A Guide to Keeping your Heart Soft

How to enter your subconscious

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

Nerf Gun Fight (Batboys)

Request: Can you do headcanons for what it’d be like to have a nerf gun war with the boys in the mansion? Who breaks things unnecessarily, who uses someone as a human shield, does dick pretend to die dramatically when he gets shot?

A/N: Not really motivated to write much recently but this was fun!! I am HELLA tired now and this turned into a NERF WAR rather than a single fight but hey, ya can’t complain, right? :D

Tagged: @jason-todd-rh @boosyboo9206 @pooiooi @icequeen206 @sassyshoulderangel319 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation @jaybirdxarsenal @youthbitch @illeatyoursoulwithmustard

[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

Dick Grayson

The one who sees this merely as fun

Bonding Time!!

Expect to be shot from a grown ass man that hangs upside down from a chandelier in a dramatic-ass James bond pose because he WILL

Broke the chandelier bc Dick, you’re not 8 ANYMORE

Made a backstory for his ‘character’ because that’s what this whole thing is missing – extra drama

Faked an accent during the whole thing and is so inconsistent with it that it drove the others NUTS

If his s/o (you) is playing along then he will protect you like you’re some kind of royalty and he’s your devoted knight

Shot you once in the butt when you didn’t look and ran away after that like the cowards he is bc he knew your wrath was now upon him

It became some kind of butt-target-practice between the two of you

Hides in high and impossible places BECAUSE HE CAN

Died dramatically when you finally shot him point blank range

Shrieked, fell to his knees, laying on the ground coughing and gave a dramatic speech with coughs and all the pizzazz

Honestly, the whole thing lasted so long you shot him again bc „Please get it over with, Dick“ „Only if you kiss me.“

Rinse and repeat for EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GOT SHOT

Tim stopped shooting him just so he wouldn’t have to hear him shriek in horror ever again

Jason Todd

The one who goes out to the MAX

Shoots everyone in the face bc he’s obnoxious like that

„JASON! We said no headshots!“ you yell and he shoots you in the face

Got a second gun from SOMEWHERE because he needed to keep his aesthetic ™

Threw his gun at Damian at one point (when he ran out of ammo) and gave him a bloody nose

Somehow ended up with a black eye (see above)

Listen, s/o or not, he will shoot you. Don’t cross him

If you even attempt to shoot him back he will throw his jacket over your head and take you hostage

„If you want to see her alive-„ „Jason… She’s your girlfriend… and she is on your team“ „Don’t fucking interrupt me, Dickhead!“

Ís a hypocrite bc HE can shoot you but if anyone dares to shoot you or just aims at you, they get punched

Whenever he gets shot he refuses to die properly. He just sits down and mumbles something under his breath like “this shit again”

„You have to lay down, that’s the rule.“ „DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW!“

Once accidentally hit you in the eye and everybody stopped in their tracks and pointed their guns at him (once they made sure you were fine)

He died in a hail of nerf-bullets (or darts) while you gave him the finger

Tim Drake

The only one who has a freaking plan

Put traps around the whole mansion like he had this war planned for months

He was prepared™

Doesn’t run out of ammo bc he plans his shots and doesn’t just randomly shootaround (see Dick)

Mainly hides and keeps out of this big feud between Jason and Dick and concentrates more on surviving Damian

Recorded video evidence of Everyone breaking things for future blackmailing (bc you can never have enough material)

Also, the only one who actually teamed up with his s/o bc he’s not stupid? Like, make allies not enemies??

Gives you his nerf-gun occasionally so you can go nuts with two guns and have fun while he prepares his next trap

Only attacks his brothers to make them think it was someone else (for example: threw a shuriken at Jason, making him think it was Damian) and watches the chaos turn into mayhem from the shadows with you

Gives out the most unenthusiastic deaths of them all.

Like he just sighs and lays down face first for the duration of his ‚Death‘ bc this is stupid.

TIMMY PLEASE

Once was lying so long Dick got worried and came out of hiding to see if he was okay

Tim got up, shot him and walked away

Dick was so shocked

Jason laughed so loud at this he blew his cover and Damian found him

Damian Wayne

The one that takes the thing too seriously.

Of course, ALL of them are hella competitive but this boy won’t go down without drawing blood

Turn this fight into a freaking WAR

Kicked Tim out of his hiding spot and into open fire as a distraction to sneak up on Dick

Got shoved (or rather kicked) down the stairs by Tim after that

REVENGE

Used real ass smoke-bombs like What the fuck Damian?!

First one that introduced real weapons into the war

Somehow lodged a BOOK into the wall and nobody knows how, when and why??

The most pissed out of ALL of them when he ‚dies‘

Swears bitter REVENGE and explains to the offending party in detail how he will kill them in return and then actually pulls through with it bc an eye for an eye

It still doesn’t stop Jason from shooting Damian in the face whenever his guard is down tho

Escalated SO MUCH he had to be put in time-out

Meaning: Jason stuffed him into a cupboard and locked it

Damian dislocated Jason’s shoulder for that one

Also, there is now a shredded cupboard door that needs to be explained to Alfred and Bruce (but mainly Alfred)

Breaks the most stuff bc ITS FOR A GREATER CAUSE

Needs to chill

You have to remind him that this is a game at least twice every minute bc he is not very familiar with that concept

“Damian…. Don’t you think this is going too far?” you say when he pulled out something that looked like a grenade

“Tt, don’t be stupid. There is no such thing as going too far.”

Is the reason nerf-guns are banned in the manor

Bruce walked in on a demolished manor and nerf darts all around in the weirdest and most obvious places and when he asked what happened Damian of course tattled

Still thinks he won the war

Brotherly love ft. Tim and Jason 

Tim: hey guys I’m gonna add pictures to the groupchat of all of us as birds.

Jason: don’t

Steph: pls don’t

Dick: c'mon, that actually sounds kinda cute

Tim: thank you Dick! I’ll do yours first!

What Dick Grayson thinks he looks like kissing someone

Vs. What he ACTUALLY looks like

Dick: i take it back

@iindigodingo here ya go

fingers in his ass sunday

@iindigodingo

House sitting for someone who practically lives in the woods and I have never been more entertained than now just swinging on their rope swing.