House sitting for someone who practically lives in the woods and I have never been more entertained than now just swinging on their rope swing.
Jason: you call is âreally bad at darts.â I call it âfreestyle acupuncture.â
Bartender: Iâm going to have to ask you to leave.
Activate your boops?
Boop boop
We BOTH supposed to be doing homework right now, quit liking my posts I'm not supposed to be making jfsfjzsfs
But considering I just woke up about 10 mins ago and my phone updated so I had to set stuff up I think were both in the same spot.
LAFFY TAFFY JOKE I FIXED
Q: what do you call a clown with a psych degree?
A: a Funcologist
Harley Quinn
Jason: Itâs 2019 why canât I delete people in real life?
Later
Jason: Ok. So it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.
Stephanie: Yoink is the opposite of yeet.
Jason: But itâs just as fast.
Tim: The lord yeetith and he yoinketh away.
Bruce: I think Iâm having a stroke.
Request: Can you do headcanons for what itâd be like to have a nerf gun war with the boys in the mansion? Who breaks things unnecessarily, who uses someone as a human shield, does dick pretend to die dramatically when he gets shot?
A/N: Not really motivated to write much recently but this was fun!! I am HELLA tired now and this turned into a NERF WAR rather than a single fight but hey, ya canât complain, right? :D
Tagged: @jason-todd-rh @boosyboo9206 @pooiooi @icequeen206 @sassyshoulderangel319 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation @jaybirdxarsenal @youthbitch @illeatyoursoulwithmustard
[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]
The one who sees this merely as fun
Bonding Time!!
Expect to be shot from a grown ass man that hangs upside down from a chandelier in a dramatic-ass James bond pose because he WILL
Broke the chandelier bc Dick, youâre not 8 ANYMORE
Made a backstory for his âcharacterâ because thatâs what this whole thing is missing â extra drama
Faked an accent during the whole thing and is so inconsistent with it that it drove the others NUTS
If his s/o (you) is playing along then he will protect you like youâre some kind of royalty and heâs your devoted knight
Shot you once in the butt when you didnât look and ran away after that like the cowards he is bc he knew your wrath was now upon him
It became some kind of butt-target-practice between the two of you
Hides in high and impossible places BECAUSE HE CAN
Died dramatically when you finally shot him point blank range
Shrieked, fell to his knees, laying on the ground coughing and gave a dramatic speech with coughs and all the pizzazz
Honestly, the whole thing lasted so long you shot him again bc âPlease get it over with, Dickâ âOnly if you kiss me.â
Rinse and repeat for EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GOT SHOT
Tim stopped shooting him just so he wouldnât have to hear him shriek in horror ever again
The one who goes out to the MAX
Shoots everyone in the face bc heâs obnoxious like that
âJASON! We said no headshots!â you yell and he shoots you in the face
Got a second gun from SOMEWHERE because he needed to keep his aesthetic â˘
Threw his gun at Damian at one point (when he ran out of ammo) and gave him a bloody nose
Somehow ended up with a black eye (see above)
Listen, s/o or not, he will shoot you. Donât cross him
If you even attempt to shoot him back he will throw his jacket over your head and take you hostage
âIf you want to see her alive-â âJason⌠Sheâs your girlfriend⌠and she is on your teamâ âDonât fucking interrupt me, Dickhead!â
Ăs a hypocrite bc HE can shoot you but if anyone dares to shoot you or just aims at you, they get punched
Whenever he gets shot he refuses to die properly. He just sits down and mumbles something under his breath like âthis shit againâ
âYou have to lay down, thatâs the rule.â âDONâT TELL ME HOW TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW!â
Once accidentally hit you in the eye and everybody stopped in their tracks and pointed their guns at him (once they made sure you were fine)
He died in a hail of nerf-bullets (or darts) while you gave him the finger
The only one who has a freaking plan
Put traps around the whole mansion like he had this war planned for months
He was preparedâ˘
Doesnât run out of ammo bc he plans his shots and doesnât just randomly shootaround (see Dick)
Mainly hides and keeps out of this big feud between Jason and Dick and concentrates more on surviving Damian
Recorded video evidence of Everyone breaking things for future blackmailing (bc you can never have enough material)
Also, the only one who actually teamed up with his s/o bc heâs not stupid? Like, make allies not enemies??
Gives you his nerf-gun occasionally so you can go nuts with two guns and have fun while he prepares his next trap
Only attacks his brothers to make them think it was someone else (for example: threw a shuriken at Jason, making him think it was Damian) and watches the chaos turn into mayhem from the shadows with you
Gives out the most unenthusiastic deaths of them all.
Like he just sighs and lays down face first for the duration of his âDeathâ bc this is stupid.
TIMMY PLEASE
Once was lying so long Dick got worried and came out of hiding to see if he was okay
Tim got up, shot him and walked away
Dick was so shocked
Jason laughed so loud at this he blew his cover and Damian found him
The one that takes the thing too seriously.
Of course, ALL of them are hella competitive but this boy wonât go down without drawing blood
Turn this fight into a freaking WAR
Kicked Tim out of his hiding spot and into open fire as a distraction to sneak up on Dick
Got shoved (or rather kicked) down the stairs by Tim after that
REVENGE
Used real ass smoke-bombs like What the fuck Damian?!
First one that introduced real weapons into the war
Somehow lodged a BOOK into the wall and nobody knows how, when and why??
The most pissed out of ALL of them when he âdiesâ
Swears bitter REVENGE and explains to the offending party in detail how he will kill them in return and then actually pulls through with it bc an eye for an eye
It still doesnât stop Jason from shooting Damian in the face whenever his guard is down tho
Escalated SO MUCH he had to be put in time-out
Meaning: Jason stuffed him into a cupboard and locked it
Damian dislocated Jasonâs shoulder for that one
Also, there is now a shredded cupboard door that needs to be explained to Alfred and Bruce (but mainly Alfred)
Breaks the most stuff bc ITS FOR A GREATER CAUSE
Needs to chill
You have to remind him that this is a game at least twice every minute bc he is not very familiar with that concept
âDamianâŚ. Donât you think this is going too far?â you say when he pulled out something that looked like a grenade
âTt, donât be stupid. There is no such thing as going too far.â
Is the reason nerf-guns are banned in the manor
Bruce walked in on a demolished manor and nerf darts all around in the weirdest and most obvious places and when he asked what happened Damian of course tattled
Still thinks he won the war
@iindigodingo here ya go
fingers in his ass sunday
You little twerp. Imma steal you pets of it doesnât get done TODAY!!
DO YOUR TEST CHILD!!
Yessir