Trusting My Own Sense Of Direction Feels Like I Am Orpheus Trusting Eurydice Is Behind Me. Dont Turn

happy brutal pipe murder day to those who celebrate!

whenever i mention licking batteries i am met with either "wtf dont lick batteries" or "yeah same who hasnt" so i would like to know what the people of tumblr think

ALSO PLEASE DO NOT PUT BATTERIES IN YOUR MOUTH!!!! licking one end of a battery is pretty safe but putting both ends in is a BAD idea for multiple reasons. i am also just some fucking guy so honestly dont even trust me saying that licking them is safe.

"the internet is so big, all the information in the world is at your fingertips" yeah except for the information i am looking for such as "whats the normal amount of joint pain at my age". at least i can look at photos of creatures

i dont know why id waste time boring myself by telling lies for the sake of seeming normal in a social situation when i could tell lies for the sake of seeming like a peculiar entity. why would i pretend to be friends with someone i hate when i could say “i hate you” and spend my time instead training myself to politely nod and say a random name every time i see a bird in order to convince strangers that i have memorised and named all the pigeons in my local area

i actually think using leeches in medical settings is fun and silly i would much rather they took my blood with leeches than needles. needle? oh no thats a needle. leech? huh, little guy. i am easily distracted from fear if there is a creature.

very stereotypical white guy thing to say but i genuinely think i would be significantly happier if i could eat large quantities of mayonnaise without getting sick

baby girl, i get paralysed by decisions you wouldn’t even realise you were making 😎

Hey, don't cry, 236 species of woodpecker, ok?

the last drawtectives episode (s3 ep 5) made me genuinely cry, everyone was so supportive of eugenes egg cooking attempts

im on so much caffine rn bc i handed my resume to a bunch of cafes and my default formula is to get something from the cafev when i do that so it seems more genuine or sonemthing idk. but i could only think of black coffeee each time. anywsy i can hear my blood. this is like ho w. edgar allen poe died