Forgot To Eat Bc I Was Too Busy Contacting Nasa To Get Them To Fix A Mistake I Noticed On Their Website

difference between a freak pervert and a philosopher is that the pervert has more fun

id suck dick for a clingstone peach rn

Socrates: you're saying it's ok to be a bottom?

Calliclese: no comment.

there is a mercy from the universe in me having the stupidest sneeze ever but also not having hay-fever or any animal allergies. i am thankful for it everyday.

i just ate a giant pomegranate in my bed using my axe #livingmybestlife

trusting my own sense of direction feels like i am orpheus trusting eurydice is behind me. dont turn around and get the train going in the other direction bc it seems like it could be the one on google maps, have trust

sometimes i'll read smut but every time i do it is for purely anthropological reasons and im stroking my chin in fascination the whole time and occasionally saying "hmm yes..yes.." and scribbling done some notes

one day i will reach my true form of an old man who tells bizarre stories to people and around half of them will be lies

'Til I can hear it crack

There's this urban legend that if you have to pass a den of badgers, you should fill your boots with onions, because when a badger bites you it will hold on until it can hear your bones crack.

peɪn səʊ bæd ɪts gɒt mɪ: raɪtɪŋ fʌnetɪklɪ:. aʊ aʊ ʊəg ʊf aʊtʃ. jaʊtʃ!