Cop: What Do You Call Disobeying The Law?

Chosen: You're alive.

Dark: There's no need to sound so disappointed.

Chosen: I want to kiss you.

Dark, not paying attention: What?

Chosen: I said if you die, I won't miss you.

Dark: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give The Dark Lord lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

*out grocery shopping*

Red: *takes a free sample twice*

Red: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Purple: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

Red: That sounds like a challenge.

Purple: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Red: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Purple: There is no challenge!

Dark: Here's a fun christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever's under it.

Chosen: Dark no

Second: Mistlefoe!

Chosen: Please don't encourage him

Yellow: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Second: What did you just say-

Yellow: Foetons! *Laughs*

Second: Wh-what?

Computer: Please enter a password.

King: *types in Purple*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

King: How fucking DARE YOU-

Chosen, talking to Second: Well Second, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Dark do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.

Second: …

Dark, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!

Red: So, Purple, do you have a crush on anyone?

Purple: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.