Second: So, What Is Dark To You?

Primal: I lost Ballista.

Agent: How did you LOSE Ballista?!

Primal: To be fair, they are very small.

Dark: *sneaking in through their window*

Chosen: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Dark: I was with Second?

Second: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Dark, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~

Dark: ~I'm gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~

Dark: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~

Dark: ~I will destroy the fucking Earth.~

Dark, with their hands cupped over each other: I found a cool spider!

Second: Oh? Lemme see!

Dark, opening their hands to see nothing there: …hm.

Chosen: …where’s the spider.

Dark: *looks troubled and stares at their hands*

Second: Oh no.

Chosen: DARK, WHERE’S THE SPIDER?!

(chosen definitely has arachnophobia lol)

Purple: Green, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Green: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

Navy, holding a new born Purple: He's beautiful...

The Doctor: We're gonna have to give him some shots.

Navy: Oh hell yeah, pour up. It's his fucking birthday.

Yellow: I had to pick up Red early.

Blue: That’s alright. Have they been sick?

Yellow: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.

Blue: Wait, why did they have a hard day?

Yellow: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and someone visiting the class that day thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw Red’s snails out the window.

Blue: Oh my god.

Yellow: I know you are laughing, Blue, but please act sad about it when we get home today.

Blue: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Yellow: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Yellow: I’m trying not to let Red see me laugh.

Purple, in Green’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night?

Green, knocking Purple off: WHAT THE HELL?!

Purple: Ow—

Green: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!

Purple: I had a nightmare.

Green: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?

Purple: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Green, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!

Purple: That is not what I meant—

Green: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!

Purple: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.

Green: Yeah, okay-

Purple: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?

Green: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while.

Purple, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!

Green: I did not consent to this-

Purple, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!

Green, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s five-foot-seven.

Dark: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

*Second is fighting a monster*

Dark: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Second: The power to believe in myself!?

Dark: No, a knife! Stab it!