Dark, With Their Hands Cupped Over Each Other: I Found A Cool Spider!

Chosen, answering the phone: Hello?

Dark: It’s Dark.

Chosen: What did they do this time?

Dark: No, it’s me, Dark. It’s actually me.

Chosen: What did you do this time?

Yellow: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Second: What did you just say-

Yellow: Foetons! *Laughs*

Second: Wh-what?

Purple: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

Red: If you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises, then I'm killing you.

Yellow: See, this never happens in spider solitaire for windows.

Chosen: *sees someone doing something stupid*

Chosen: What an idiot.

Chosen: *realizes it's Dark*

Chosen: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Second: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.

Purple: Red, why are you crying?

Red: This book is so sad!!

Purple, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dark: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Second: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Dark: …Your point?

Cop: What do you call disobeying the law?

Dark: A hobby.

Chosen: *stares pointedly at Dark*

Dark: That we do not engage in.

Red: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Yellow: A doll.

Blue: A cinnamon roll.

Green: A sweetheart.

Red:

Red: ...stop it.