Well, I Spent Most Of Yesterday Out And About, Getting A Ultrasound ( Not For That), And Running Errands.

Neurodivergent culture is getting really irritated when people add on to your posts with their own thoughts if those thoughts aren't exactly in line with what yours are.

It's also getting annoyed when people add onto your vent posts with positivity. like. no. just let me be depressed in peace lol.

Depression has swaddled me, it's the perfect time for my "dear friend " to be judgemental and essentially told me to shut up about my autism. Oh I will shut up alright....

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I feel called out.

Trying desperately to lose weight! I miss being skinny so much I meltdown. I'm tired of wearing such a big size, I miss wearing my size 2 clothes. It has me so depressed.

My melancholy has turned into Dispair. And my lovely PTSD is keeping me on high alert. As for my anxiety, worse. Especially when they run test after test and still observe me, no clue what's wrong with me. Good news is my anxiety is barely in control. Seems wherever I go people are yelling and items being thrown about, um, guys, this is supposed be my sanctuary, peace, safety. Well not now, it's yelling and stomping, fighting and of course, alcohol. My overnight at dad's, my getaway, decompress. Nope, they were fighting. I desperately need my space.

I guess the pain will end when I end.... just let it end. I'm horrible and worthless, a waste of natural resources. Maybe surgery Monday will not go well.

Lost 18 lbs in a month! Restrictions more.

I will be size 2 again I!

Tis the season to meltdown... you get it, right? The season for triggers, masking and trying not to flip out.

Love of my life died, unknown reason, hit me like a train. Absolutely no appetite but no will work out.