My Melancholy Has Turned Into Dispair. And My Lovely PTSD Is Keeping Me On High Alert. As For My Anxiety,
My melancholy has turned into Dispair. And my lovely PTSD is keeping me on high alert. As for my anxiety, worse. Especially when they run test after test and still observe me, no clue what's wrong with me. Good news is my anxiety is barely in control. Seems wherever I go people are yelling and items being thrown about, um, guys, this is supposed be my sanctuary, peace, safety. Well not now, it's yelling and stomping, fighting and of course, alcohol. My overnight at dad's, my getaway, decompress. Nope, they were fighting. I desperately need my space.
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"Ghosts don't haunt us. That's not how it works. They're present among us because we won't let go of them. "I don't believe in ghosts," I said, faintly. "Some people can't see the color red. That doesn't mean it isn't there," she replied."
-Sue Grafton
I guess the pain will end when I end.... just let it end. I'm horrible and worthless, a waste of natural resources. Maybe surgery Monday will not go well.
Adjusting to more roommates, a different house, oh and Sunday there is going to be 40 so people in the house. . . fingers crossed.
Breath in, fly high! The worst of it is over.😶🌫️
Happy Caturday
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Depression has swaddled me, it's the perfect time for my "dear friend " to be judgemental and essentially told me to shut up about my autism. Oh I will shut up alright....
Trying desperately to lose weight! I miss being skinny so much I meltdown. I'm tired of wearing such a big size, I miss wearing my size 2 clothes. It has me so depressed.
