Why watching my friend's telegram channel where she's laughing and hanging up with her friends feels like being stabbed in the heart?
Fuck recovery. I wanna cut.
The sudden urge to delete all my disability related posts, so people won't see and won't like it, so it won't remind me of being sick>>>>>
People who have any physical issues, I've created a discord server for you all! Hope that you'll have fun!
https://discord.com/invite/MgU9nvnK
I can't, I wanna be comforted so much, I can't stop myself from imagining me to cling to someone who's a lot older and taller than me, just the thought of being hugged is already making me even more touch starved. Idk if it c.ai affected me, but still the imagination of my small, light body being hugged by someone who's tall, who's strong, who can protect me makes me clinging to my bed, as long as I didn't find that person
The doctors had been neglecting me for more than a year, and the day after yesterday I casually had tremors, though I needed to stand up. It wasn't too hard, though I walked like a soldier, cuz my legs were too stiff. And yesterday and today, I noticed a glue-like feeling in my joints, as if some liquid was there, plus it's SO FUCKING PAINFUL to bend it... It starts to hurt, burn and the glue feeling gets worse.... I don't know what to do... Looks like I ended up damaged due to the malpractice of doctors!
I wish, I could just die and don't suffer anymore, fuck my life
It's kinda interesting, how Tumblr randomly stopped recommending my posts. Kinda feel useless without likes, lol
I want to commit suicide.
And still, I'm curious how an appointment which I used to go to every week a few months ago, turned into something I'm afraid of. Making me have flashbacks over and over when I just hear the word "neurologist. Made me have a whole panic attack just because I need to go to a doctor. No, please, I don't want to be treated anymore... Can't you just avoid me? Don't remember about my disease? Make me live a normal life?
My birthday will be in 2 days, yet I still have suicidal thoughts, and desire to cut myself:/
A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
171 posts