Tw Suicide Mention - Blog Posts

I'm thinking of getting the book Dear Evan Hansen. I was test reading it online, and I wanna share the first page.

It mentions suicide, so scroll if not comfortable.

It's interesting to read from Connor's POV.

I don't think I am going to read it, since I get second hand embarrassment when Evan digs himself a deeper hole.

tw for suicide mention

(let me know if i missed any tags)

I love AllEraserMic as much as the next guy, but I also think the idea of Eraser fumbling the bag twice and having them end up together is the funniest thing in the world.

TW Self-harm, mentioning suicide. Manga spoilers too!

I’ve thought about the last idea a lot and Im gonna sAY SOME CAUSE I CANT HELP MYSELF!

One of my favourite Aizawa lines in the show has got to be when he outlines that there is a clear difference between self-sacrifice and suicide. The show already uses the two of them to outline differences and Aizawa’s already sacrificed so much so like chile-

SECONDLY! So we’re all in agreement that Hizashi is going through survivors guilt, even moreso considering the lack of injuries he sustained in the war arc. Going back to one of my HCs Hizashi starts to try to make up for the lack of pain he felt and put onto others. It just looks like he's become more reckless when he’s really just- harming himself on purpose while fighting but it doesn’t look suspicious to the outside cause he's a hero. It’s considered brave. The perfect outlet for him to keep his slipping mask of a persona on while he continues to shatter! And people are celebrating it, cause they don’t know, which only breaks him further. Course Aizawa notices but it’s the usual excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse

Absolute bangers and I’m in tears :D!

Things I might draw nebulous things for in the future but need to say out loud before I blow up

-shōta often has that air around hizashi where he’s like “god he’s loud. Wish he’d be more quiet” and hizashi just brushes it off. but after the whole recent fiasco, when shōta says those things, hizashi actually just stops talking for a while. And shōta is starting to get really worried about it.

-hizashi becoming much more protective to the point of it being self destructive. He slips into a “no more harm is going to come to the people I love no matter what” and you know I’m a sucker for “zashi gets seriously hurt trying to protect shō” content lol

My last prompt on late @sasori-mini-bang​

Day 3

“Mythology AU”

Before we begin I want to add that it was very plesant experience to be a part of this event; thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me take part in this. I truly appreciate that and I love all of the works other people did.

Going back to my work - it’s the longest one and in the same time the least unique text I wrote. I just hope I hadn’t written any of the characters too ooc. Hope you’ll have fun anyway (pic and pronounciation of one word at the end of the text).

Czytaj dalej

My late entry on @sasori-mini-bang​

Day 2

Free day

Forgive me for any mistakes in writting. Being non-native speaker gives a lot of insecurities while doing this.

I’ll keep things under the cut because as it turned out I’ve written much more than intended. If you are just for picture it’s at the end of the cutted text

Czytaj dalej

Bake no Hana

(My English Version)

What’s with that look? That look I knew you’d give (Nani sono me yappa sono me)

It’s not the first time I’ve seen it (Hajimemashite janai ne)

What’s with that look? Just stop it already (Nani sono me mou yamete)

Sure it’s cute, but it still tastes like sin (Kawaii dake nano ni tsumi no aji)

I’m slipping, slipping and collapsing (Zureru zureru kuzureru)

Slipping and losing my mind (Zureru ki ga fureru)

One secret slips and it all falls apart (Himitsu hitotsu de kuzureru)

I’m breaking down, forgive me (Kowareru, gomen)

Don’t look, it’s not like you’d grasp it, right? (Minaide rikai dekinai deshou?)

It’s like a monstrous flower has finally bloomed (Marude saite shimatta bake no hana)

Nothing I say can make it pass from sight (Nani mo ienai kakikesena)

No matter how hard my makeup attunes (Donna ni minikuku utsuru keshou)

Don’t look, it’s not like you’d grasp it, right? (Minaide rikai dekinai deshou?)

It’s like a monstrous flower has finally bloomed (Marude saite shimatta bake no hana)

I can no longer go back to being a bud (Tsubomi ni wa mou modorenai)

What’s with that look? That look I knew you’d give (Nani sono me yappa sono me)

If this is how it is then everyone should go away (Dattara kiete minna inaku nare)

Please go away, please go away (Inaku nare inaku nare)

Please go away, stay by my side (Inaku nare soba ni ite)

Don’t look, it’s not like you’d grasp it, right? (Minaide rikai dekinai deshou?)

It’s like a monstrous flower has finally bloomed (Marude saite shimatta bake no hana)

Nothing I say can make it pass from sight (Nani mo ienai kakikesena)

No matter how hard my makeup attunes (Donna ni minikuku utsuru keshou)

If you won’t understand in the future (Mirai de rikai sarenai nara)

Then this monstrous flower will swiftly evanesce (Koko de sassa to kiete bake no hana)

To end my punishment of being born (Umareta batsu o owarasu you ni)

I’ll stop breathing (Kokyuu o tomete)

I’ve had enough (Aa mou ii ya)

Chat, do you think I’m a cutie?

Do you think I’m a cuuuutie, Chat?

…

“No, go krill yourself-”

*THUD*

MATE, YOU DON’T THINK I’VE TRIED?!

*chat conversation under read more*

Who’s Who

Happy_Noodle777 - Johnny “Nny” C (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)

TheBestByFar - Mihael “Mello” Keehl (Death Note)

Moon_Light - Light Yagami (Death Note)

Jeff_Der_K1ller - Jeffrey “Jeff the Killer” Woods (Creepypasta)

Matsuda78 - Touta Matsuda (Death Note)

xX_mmy_Xx - Jimmy “Mmy” (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)

Chat

Happy_Noodle777: plz change the song. I'm going to commit crimes if I hear this shit one more time

TheBestByFar: You should play dress to impress

Moon_Light: Elden Ring?

Jeff_Der_K1ller: DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS DRESS TO IMPRESS

Matsuda78: DRESS TO IMPRESS!

Happy_Noodle777: NO!!! DON'T PLAY THAT SHITTY ROBLOX GAME!!!

Happy_Noodle777: PLAY POSTAL INSTEAD

Matsuda78: Of course you're pretty! ^-^

Moon_Light: You're cute

Moon_Light: No homo

Jeff_Der_K1ller: No XD

TheBestByFar: ig

Happy_Noodle777: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!

Jeff_Der_K1ller: u look stinky

Happy_Noodle777: GO KRILL YOURSELF

Jeff_Der_Killer: stinky bastard man

xX_mmy_Xx: f@ggot

Moon_Light: This is why you need mods

Happy_Noodle777: @xX_mmy_Xx SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!! NO ONE FUCKING LOVES YOU!!!!!!!

Matsuda78: I can mod for you! ^_^

xX_mmy_Xx: @Happy_Noodle777 sorry

Jeff_Der_KIller: LMAOOOOO

TheBestByFar: HOLY SHIT

Matsuda78: O_O

Moon_Light: What's that poster in the back?

Jeff_Der_K1ller: LMFAOOOOO

xX_mmy_Xx: clipped

TheBestByFar: Jesus Christ

Moon_Light: Calm down!

Happy_Noodle777: Me too, you're not special

Jeff_Der_K1ller: KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF KRILL YOURSELF

are you mad at me: deconstructive, assumes the other person’s feelings, accusatory more than inquisitive

do you want me to kill myself: broaches a problem and solution in one, prioritizes action over feelings, proactive in seeking a resolution

thinking out loud

Adding on to the vent.

Tw/cw: suicide mention, suicidal thoughts, and shit like that

What do you do when in past lives you were disabled but still did stuff that you can't in this life?

What do you do when you realize that you should be more able to do stuff in this life but you are less able?

What do you do when you can't even talk about most of this to most people you know in person cause they wouldn't understand and would hate you?

What do you do when you want to make yourself more disabled than you already are?

What do you do when you are so close to trying to end it all because you can't see why you should keep living?

What do you do when you don't even think you could end it all cause you're scared and just not really wanting to end it all?

What do you do when you can't mention this to people cause you don't want to be sent away even when the place you're currently at sucks?

What do you do when you want to live but you want to die?

- Shay 🐾

Little vent from us. We are kinda going through some shit rn.

We don't think there are any tw/cw but if there are let us know.

What do you do when you realize that you might not be able to work a "normal" job or maybe any job at all ever?

What do you do when you realize that your disabilities affect what you are able to do in ways that are so against what you wanted to do and what you wish you could do?

What do you do when disabilities are actually disabling?

What do you do when other people don't understand even when they are disabled themselves?

What do you do in any situations where disabilities affect what happens?

What do you do when you need to tell people and make them understand that you are disabled and that means you can't do the same things as others?

- Shay 🐾

What do you do when you are disabled?

Tw/cw: dissociating, suicide mention, distressing stuff(?), election and politics.

Ok, for a bit, we are gonna have to just fully avoid any posts to do with the election and politics, so any of my mutuals, please tag any posts you make about these with the tags for them, please. So we can properly avoid them.

Need to take a break from it cause it is causing too much distress and shit.

I (the host) can feel myself dissociating [not necessarily to do with system/plural shit] and just we need to stop looking at it for now.

Also, please, any of my mutuals, tag if you mention suicide or killing yourself (either kms or kys versions), please. Cause we can't always deal with that, so we need to be able to avoid those posts when needed.

Basically, just please tag your posts properly, especially for trigger or content warnings, please.

The best thing would probably to be getting off of the internet/social media fully for a bit, but we can't really do that fully. Won't explain anymore than that.

Shay (They/it) & Declan? (They/them + ve/vem/ver/vers/vemself and thi/thim/thims/thims/thimself)

"POVyoureGertrudeRobinson.png"

A doodle and a quick extract from the monster au i've been developing because I love writing tragic backstories and i love gerry keay

Gerry here is what is more commonly known as a soul eater, a wraith or many other horrible ghosty ghoulies. He hunts by marking and stalking certain unfortunate individuals, waiting for that opportune moment right after death where he can devour their souls and the remants of their lifeforce to extend his life.

[Statment Begins]

He’s heaving and crying, shifting in an out of focus as eyes blink in and out of existence all while shuddering in his place in the circle. He’d thrown himself from his chair at some point, losing it in his desperate primal instinct to just crawl away even trapped with nowhere to go he were. Something awful pulling him apart from the core before it eases under the sigils tight grip. Heaving, hurting even when it ends, crying despite it all. Trying to force himself to take a breath, to work past the pain and fear keeping him locked tight, something blackened among the divots of claw marks carved into the wood of the floor.

Gerry is in the room now, he looks right to burn everything to the ground with agony and murder on his face. Gertrude, a mix of fury and sick unexpected fear of her own he can feel goes much deeper than him failing to die.

He forces himself to speak through raw, gasping breaths as he forces himself through the lock on his body. Still clutching his head and digging lines into what used to be his skull and moving just enough to look at her, eyes wide and voice shuddering as he tries to keep the growl of static of unwitting frantic compulsion from his throat.

“He knows what we tried to do,” is all he can force out

“We?!”

“Of course he does,” she snaps, tearing papers from the walls and stowing them away into open books, scrambling in a way none of them have ever seen before, “I’d wager the bond is more than enough to make him clear of that, even with the measures I put in place”

Gerry is steps between them.

“He’ll be here any minute now,” She says.

“What the fuck did you do?” Gerard thunders, form morphing, turning into something else. Something that towers over both of them and sends the world into shades of black and white. Permeating the world with thick ink tendrils that turn over filing cabinets behind him, as ink flows like blood out of the closed books on the shelves and from between the spaces in stacks of yellowed pages. The stench of death choking them both as his face twists into something horrible. Something that would have made the old Jon, the Jon who'd only ever known to fear Mr. Spider, choke on his fear.

He’d… he’d never seen Gerry look like that before.

“Gerard, now is hardly the time.” She grits out.

“Answer the fucking question!” he roars, "What the fuck did you do to him?!"

A yellow door opens, and all argument ceases with the man who walks through.

“What do you think, they were trying to do?”

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

On death. Again.

On december 2020 I wrote about my grandma’s passing. I’ve just read the post again and it says that “it’s the first time someone close to me dies”.

oh, well.

Next thursday will be the first month anniversary of one of my classmate’s death. It’s the fourth death of the year. So far it’s been two illnesses, one suicide and one accident.

He wasn’t my friend, I didn’t know a lot about him, except that he would have been a much better engenieer than I’ll ever be. I think we were going to graduate at the same time. It’s not fair.

I found out right outside the lab where I saw him for the last time. We were there with the rest of our group the day they told us classes were cancelled because of covid. We cheered and laughed and said good bye and see you soon.

We were not scared. We didn’t know.

I mean, of course we were in the same group chats and online classes for the next couple years, and even teamed up in some projects, but I never saw him again.

It was an accident. He was riding his bike. It was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to graduate together. We were all supposed to make it.

I feel guilty because I chose not to go to the funeral, or the ceremony, or the homage. I didn’t tell his family and friends I was sorry for their loss. And I was. I am. I just really didn’t want to go. I would have felt totally out of place. I was not his family, I was not his friend. I barely knew him. And it still hurt.

It still hurts.

Classes start again next week, and he is not going to be there. We are going to sit there and take the lessons and do the homework and listen to the teachers and complain about all of it. And he is not going to be there.

We are going to graduate without him, and all the good things he could have made in the world are never gonna happen. All because of a fucking accident. It’s not fair. It’s just not.

I don’t know why this death struck me more than the other three. Maybe because it affects me directly. Maybe cause he was my age. Maybe cause it was so sudden. Maybe cause now I’m scared someone I love will walk out the door and I’ll never see them again.

There. I said it. I’m scared. I’m really fucking scared. I can’t do anything to stop things like this from happening, and it’s absolutely fucking terrifying.

That’s all I have to say. for now.

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide.