Ron Weasley Is Our King - Blog Posts

So I saw the Whumpay prompts “Truth Serum” and “Magic Overuse” and thought, if I don’t write about Harry Potter I’m basically committing a crime.

So we all know Veritaserum exists and it totally should’ve been used to clear Sirius’s name, but for some reason it never happened. I wrote about it set during prisoner of Azkaban, except it’s Whumpay so of course things go wrong

Here’s my crackfic turned angsty hell based on Hermione having common sense and being a little morally grey featuring oblivious Harry, smart Ron, and stupid Cornelius Fudge.

Tw: Erasing memories, headaches on steroids

They had just broken the bars off his cage, the sound of the the metal falling away almost deafening. That’s when it struck her.

“Veritaserum!” She exclaimed. She couldn’t see Harry’s nor Sirius’s face, but she could feel the confusion rolling off them in waves. They both exchanged looks before they stared back at the bushy haired girl, Sirius with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

“Er- Hermione, what about Veritaserum?” Harry had asked, still planted in front of her on Buckbeak. She slid off the Hippogrif, landing on the stone floor with a small thud, looking back up at Harry.

“It’ll clear his name!” She turned to Sirius now, a smile on her face. “If you take some in front of the Minister of Magic and Dumbledore- well, they can’t very well send you back to Azkaban, can they?”

She was stoked, wand in hand as he grinned happily. Sirius looked dumbstruck. It was the most logical thing he’d ever heard, but for some reason he’d never thought of before.

“This is why you’re the brightest witch of our age.” Harry laughed, finally realizing what this meant- what this could mean. If Sirius was cleared, he could finally escape the Dursley’s. He could finally live with someone who cared about his parents for all they did, and most importantly, cared about him.

“Hermione,” Sirius said, a strange look on his face, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You’re a genius. Absolutely brilliant.”

Hermione was still smiling when she helped Sirius onto Buckbeak’s back. She was still smiling when she told Dumbledore to summon the Minister; when she told him her grand plan. She was still smiling when the Minister of Magic showed up, looking vaguely annoyed and entirely skeptical.

This would prove it. Right here- this moment, this would prove it. Sirius was innocent.

She held back a grin as he chugged down the Veritaserum, barely containing her glee when he confessed that he hadn’t killed James and Lily. She shot Harry a satisfied glanced when he explained that it had been Peter all along, that he was working for the dark lord. He explained that while he did try to kill him, all he got was a finger.

The tension in the room was thick, waiting for the minister to say something. She gave Harry’s hand a small squeeze in support, waiting.

The smile dropped off her face faster than the speed of light when he said it didn’t matter. Her eyes got dark when he ordered cuffs to be placed on Sirius’s wrists despite the damming truth between them. Her hand twitched to her wand when Sirius’s face dropped in realization that he’d have to go back. She watched the light in his eyes dim, and she couldn’t stop herself. Later she’d blame it on impulsivity- but she knew it wasn’t true. She didn’t feel bad for what she did, she felt vindicated.

“Obliviate!”

At once the Minister and his associate stopped, their faces going blank. A sharp pain pierced her own skull, but she didn’t care. From the corner of her eye she could see Dumbledores surprise, clearly not expecting her to do that, but underneath the shock she could tell he was proud. Sirius looked like he didn’t know whether to be stunned or amused, his face settling somewhere between the two. Harry of course was horrified, standing beside her with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Hermione!” He yelled, sounding vaguely appalled.

“Don’t.” She snapped, looking back at Harry. “Just take Sirius and wait for me at the cell.”

He shifted on his feet then, glancing over the Minister, the blank eyes staring into the distance. “Hermione, you just-“

“I know what I did!” She snapped, looking back at Fudge. “If he doesn’t want to see reason, well…” she smirked, her hand steady on her wand. “Then I guess he just won’t remember this, will he?”

No one would remember this she thought, watching Harry free his uncle from the godawful shackles. Her head pulsed and she closed her eyes, trying to will away the pain. Hermione waited until she heard his footsteps retreating before she opened them. Once he was gone, she turned to fully face Dumbledore. He gave her a knowing smile, like he knew exactly what she was planning.

“You may not be doing the right thing, but you’re doing it for the right reasons.” He spoke softly, tilting his head ever so slightly as he turned to look at Fudge. “That man was proven innocent, and yet..” he trailed off, looking away from the minister.

Hermione hesitated, her wand faltering in her grip, her palms sweaty where the skin touched wood. Before she could speak, Dumbledore was already raising a hand to silence her.

“I shall take Mr Fudge and his associate back to the ministry. Once I return, I’ll be sure to get rid of any evidence, lest you want a migraine for days.” His voice was smooth but amused, she could practically hear the eyebrow raise, even though she couldn’t see it. Hermione blushed in embarrassment, her gaze darting to the floor for a second. “I promise, no one will know this has been done, my dear.” He leisurely walked over to the two men, like this was an everyday occurrence. (It was Hogwarts, maybe it was.) Dumbledore took ahold of them both by the arm, looking back with a soft but knowing smile. “No one but you.”

———————————————

Hermione didn’t feel any regret when she left the room, now holding her wand firmly, the time turner tucked safely under her shirt.

She didn’t feel any regret when she made it back to Harry and Sirius, both of them in varying stages of confusion and worry.

She didn’t feel any regret when she raised her arm, pointing her wand at the two of them. She let a small apology fall from her lips, a courtesy she knew they wouldn’t remember.

“I’m sorry Harry, Sirius. This is for the best.”

She didn’t feel any regret when their faces went blank, their eyes clouding over. She didn’t feel any regret when she got back on Buckbeak, leading them to think they had just broken the bars.

If the law wouldn’t allow Sirius Black to live his life, then Hermione would. She wasn’t cruel, she wasn’t mean, but some people deserved it. In her eyes, Sirius didn’t. If the price she had to pay was a splitting headache and nausea, then she would pay it. Headaches went away. Nausea went away. The trauma from living with dementors never disappeared. Hermione would be dammed if she let Sirius go back knowing he was innocent.

Later that night the two of them sat in the infirmary with Ron. Harry had taken the role of filling him in while Hermione sat in silence. She massaged her temples every once in a while, for the most part having her head rest in her hand. Earlier she had told them that she was tired, they didn’t question it. The headache raged like a hurricane, battering the inside of her head so violently she almost cried. Her vision doubled, she was so nauseous she genuinely debated grabbing a bucket just in case- but she refused to show it. Not in front of Harry. It would be too suspicious.

She wasn’t paying attention when he told Ron that he felt weird, like he was missing time. She didn’t hear him when he stated that the rescue felt much longer than it was, too focused on the cacophony of drums behind her eyes. Only when he turned to her to ask if she felt the same did she realize what he was talking about. She put her shaking hands onto her lap. Out of sight, out of mind, right? She did her best to sound genuine while she reassured him that everything was okay.

“I mean, the stairs did take a bit longer than usual,” she said with a convincingly thoughtful hum, “Maybe it’s just the adrenaline.. I wouldn’t worry about it.” Her voice was strained, trying her best not to show the pain. She gave Harry a bright smile, and he returned one of his own, even if his didn’t reach his eyes. She felt a pit forming in her stomach, but she quickly pushed it away. Third years weren’t supposed to use that spell, let alone know about it, but Hermione was no ordinary third year. She’d been gifted a time turner, what was one more secret to keep? Yes, her head hurt, a side affect of using magic to powerful for her age, but it was well deserved. She didn’t regret anything she did, even if it meant having a migraine. She’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

After Harry had gone to bed, Hermione stuck around. Ron gave her a side eye from his position on the cot but she rolled her eyes, ignoring the spike of nausea from the action. She gave him an unamused look, quirking up one of her eyebrows. “Really Ronald, everything’s fine. Why are you looking at me like that?”

For a minute he just stared, and she sat there confused. Finally he reached over, placing a hand over top of hers. “Whatever you did..” he paused, unsure if he should continue. “I know you had a good reason to do it.”

She stared at him with wide eyes, but she didn’t respond. Was she really that obvious?

He chuckled for a second at her confused expression, a small sound that filled the air between them. “There are painkillers over there, you know.” He said, jutting his head to a small bottle on his bedside table. “They work faster if you hold ‘em under your tongue- here, let me grab them for you.”

Her eyes went wide with shock and she looked away. Ron was a lot more observant than she gave him credit for, clearly. She heard him grab the bottle, having some difficulty flipping open the lid, and she laughed quietly at his struggle. Her gave her a small smile, finally getting it open with a triumphant yell. She shook her head, he was lucky they were the only people in here. She held out her spare hand and he shook three pills into her palm, closing the cap and putting it away.

“Take one now, and these two tomorrow.” He said firmly, now holding a small mug of water. She looked at him with a grateful smile, popping one of the magical pills into her mouth before she drank the water to help it go down.

“Thank you.” She said, setting the water onto the side table. He just shrugged, looking oddly smug. “What’re friends for?”

Ron gave her hand a pat before pulling back, giving Hermione an easy, reassuring smile. As the feeling of being stabbed in her skull slowly faded away, she smiled back.

You can also read this on Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65405383

3 Swords Demon And His Magical Son 3

Draco: *talking about quidditch* You’ll lose, so you might as well be waving a white-

Ron: *raised by King Of Hell Zoro, King Pirate Luffy and The Straw Hat “Monster Crew” Ship in the New World* The only thing I’ll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick if front of your weeping mother!

Draco:

Gryffindor Quidditch Team: Good lord

Sacred 28 VS The Sacred 28 6

Draco: *throws himself in a puddle*

Neville: *sleeping in a huge flower*

Luna: *Stacking rocks together to make a cave*

Abbott: *healing people with her glowing aura while following Madam Pomfrey*

Hermione: What the…?

Flint: *sitting next to Ginny while on fire*

Ginny: *a sleeping bear*

Ron: *voice magically changing to other people’s voices- people he had talked to* Ah, its that time of year.

Hermione: ???

Ron: Creature inheritance

Hermione: What in blazing hell is a creature in-

Harry: Oh shit! Oh shit! *skids in front of them* A statue just talked to me! It wanted kids!? It wanted me to give it kids?! *freaking out* I can’t give it kids! I’mma kid!

Ron: Welcome to the wizarding world of The Sacred 28

Lily’s Ghost That Haunts 6

(Movie Hp meets My AU Hp)

AU Hermione: *looks at m.Hermione in horror* No way…I seem so…ugh perfect. Burn it Ron.

Movie Hermione: Excuse me!?*looks affronted*

Au Hermione: You’re excuse.

The Harrys: *circling each other like feral cats*

AU Harry: *suddenly freezes* Something just happened

AU Harry: *runs to the Hogwarts’ courtyard* Ron Bilus!

Movie Harry: ???

(Courtyard)

*AU Ron being choked in the air by the collar- by m.Ron’s hand- as he chokes m.Ron around the neck with his legs*

Hogwart’s Students: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Twins: Step right up!

Fred: Place your bets!

George: Choose your Ronnie!

AU Hermione: How dare!

Movie H&H: *sighs

AU Hermione: Why didn’t anyone tell me, we’re betting on Ron?! *pulls out a gallon*

AU Harry: *pulls out 30 gallons then shrugs when stared at* Can’t bet them? Join them

Ginny: Come on Ronnie! I got 20 gallons riding on you!

Percy: Show that faker who’s boss! *handing a surprise Fred 40 gallons*

Professor Trelawney: Ah! I was wondering why I got Evan’s old vision this year. *takes a sip of her flask with a chuckle* Put down for 60 on our worlds Ronald. Just like Lily.

Movie H&H: Bloody Hell?

3 Swords Demon And His Magical Son 2

After Finding The One Piece

Zoro: *pretending to be a normal citizen in front of the Marines* We have to find my darling husband, I’m so worried about him. *trying not to laugh*

11yr Ron: *giggling quietly in Zoro’s shoulder then pretends to sob* Papa, oh papa!

Random Marine: Seriously? *confusion after Zoro describes an absolute madman as his husband* What do you see in him?

Zoro: He makes me laugh

Pirate King Luffy: *cackles in amusement and love*

Lily’s Ghost That Hunts Them 6

Draco: *smiles smugly*

Filch: *enrage* Listen here you lil’shit-

Hermione: *holding Harry back*

(A loud whistle)

All: *looks arounds* ???

(A gigantic boulder hit the ground between them all, inches from their noise)

Filch: Lily Evens! She has returned! *takes off screaming*

Draco: *piss his pants, sobbing*

(2 minutes earlier)

Ron: *levitating a gigantic boulder from his dorm’s window* Is this good?

Neville: *using Ron’s binoculars* A little more to the right.

Ron: Got it!

Seamus: *panicking a little* Whatchu got there?

Ron/Neville: A smoothie. *takes a sip out of their cup*

Sacred 28 Vs The Sacred 28 5

Hermione: I wonder what would happen if the The Sacred 28 just…disappears

Ron: *mindlessly* We’ll all die a horrible death.

Hermione: *is confusion*

Ron: And the streets will be run by magical creatures. They’ll be screaming like it’s the end of the world. Yelling about “monsters” and the devil was coming to saw their legs off. Totally unhinged.

Hermione:

Ron: They’ll be like dogs without horses. They’ll be running wild.

Lily’s Ghost that Hunts them 5

Ron: *complaining about a Karen at his summer job in the hospital* She came at me a; ‘No. You can’t be a nurse, you’re not wearing the uniform’.

Lavender: Oof.

Kellen: *mumbles* This is why I work with animals.

Ron: Should have join you. I mean what did that lady expect? The uniform to be a slutty nurse outfit? *cracks the table with a bang of his fist* Get over it Stacy.

Professor Slughorn: *pause, turns around and walks out of the classroom* Not to day Satan.

(Marauder’s era)

Lily: *complains about her job because of a karen*

Her dorm mates: *nods in understanding*

Lily: What did she expect? Us to be wearing slutty maid uniforms? Come on Susie. *bangs her fist, cracking the table* Get with the program.

Professor Slughorn: *jumps and spills hot tea on his pants*

Goblet of Musical 2

Hermione Granger felt disoriented at everything that happened. Her lungs burn from the twin’s horrible produce as she cough harshly. She couldn’t understand why those two would make such an object. Racking her mind, she felt that these two were wasting their potential chasing after childish games instead of doing what their mother wanted. Them having good grade and getting jobs in the Ministry of Magic. Fred and George could do so much more then…party trick that should be grown out of.

“Mundum Aerem!” The voice of the Headmaster rang out as a sky blue spell hit the supernova color cloud above them. The brown hair bookworm let herself relax. Of course, the Headmaster had a spell to fix this rubbish and she couldn’t help wonder what book that spell was in. “Attention students! Due to events of what happened, classes are postponed until tomorrow.”

Hermione couldn’t help a groan of disappointment escape her mouth to join the cheers of her fellow Gryffindors. Really! They should be grateful to have such amazing classes.

“Please continue your lunch.” Professor Dumbledore continued over the loud hurrah. The old wizard chuckled at brighten faces. “Ah yes, yes. No classes. Ha ha! Also, many thanks to those who quickly stood up to with our dear Weasley’s confrontation.”

The smartest witch of her generation frown at the direction of the red hair girl from Beauxbatons. She could understand why that girl interfered with the Twins trying to straighten Ron out. Sure they were going to far like always with their useless jokes but how else was Ron going to snap out of his stupid jealous stupor.

“Harry. Harry!”

The said teen and her turn quickly to sound of Harry’s name. Hermione felt her frown turn into a scowl. Lavender Brown. The most annoying girl she has ever met, looking at the untidy black hair teen with urgency. ‘He should really brush his hair more. He’ll looks so unprofessional once he’s trys to get a job,’ She thought mindlessly. Once they met eyes, the look of urgency turned into a fierce determination.

”Lavender?” Harry asked nervously.

As he shifted foot to foot, she felt the urge to fix his posture.

“Well?” Lavender demanded. The green eyed boy let out a sound of confusion. “Aren’t you going after our Ronnie?”

“Our Ronnie?” The two out three of the Golden Trio interrupted in annoyance.

The blue eyed pure-blood Gryffindor continued as if they didn’t say anything. “He must be overwhelmed after something like this! How could those horrible boys do that to him? Aren’t they his brothers? If my sisters did that…oh Harry! Why haven’t you not gone after him? As his best friend, you should be there to help him with something so traumatic! You are his best friend right?”

“Of course I am!” The boy who live snarl, puffing up like an enraged cat.

“Then go!”

Both girls watch as the male pivoted and rushed out the of dinning hall. Lavender let out a sigh at the comforting thought that her favorite boy was getting the support he deserves. Specially with all those dumb, unfounded accusations of him being jealous of his Harry being rumored across the castle. Then her turquoise blue eyes met unamused brown eyes.

“What was that?” Hermione growled crossing her arms.

Lavender sneered at her and hiss; “Well, we all know you weren’t going to help out. This is far above your emotional level.”

A shrill; “What is that?!”

Lavender stood up to her full height and look down at her rival. Once again Hermione felt something she hasn’t felt since the first year. Something that she work hard not to fell again. The real reason she stay late in the library, other then the hungry for knowledge.

(It was the first her night at Hogwarts and Hermione couldn’t wait to interact with her roommates. Finally people just like her in this world that she would have never even dream of! Patting her hair down, brushing her robes for imagery dust and grabbing her book, Hogwarts: A History, waiting gleefully to meet the girls she was now living with. Imagine her greatest disappointment and shock when four girls came in talking about beauty and love magic!

How shallow! How can they think of something like that when they should be thinking about using magic to better the state of muggle and wizard interaction. Specifically, that curly blonde girl who was taking pride in such arts. Does she not remember women fighting to be more than makeup wear stay at home mothers? The protest against the sexism of Miss America pageant in 1968? The women rights to vote in 1920?

The room became quiet.

“Excuse me?” A cold tone of voice asked.

Oh…did she say that out loud?

“Please do repeat yourself.” The tone became a snarl. Hermione felt a shiver go down her spine as her eyes met sharp turquoise blue eyes that bore down on her. The brown hair girl unconsciously took a step back. “What was this bout us being shallow? Go on. Tell us.”

For once Hermione Granger, kid prodigy, felt as if she was the smallest and dumbest person in the room. She loath the feeling. *I-I called you shallow because you’re chasing after s-such useless things. What’s the use of love and beauty when y-you can do something far more useful?”

Everyone in the room stared at her in wide eye dumbfounded annoyance. She couldn’t help but feel like she was gaining ground for herself. The brown eyed bookworm took their silence as a surrender to her words. It felt like it always did when she won an argument with her brain. Well…at least until Lavender Brown stalked up towards her like a predator. A lioness on a hunt if you will. The curly, blonde haired girl reached out with a delicate hand and gripped her chin. A viper snatching its prey, a twisted sneer on her pale perfect face. Even in this awful situation, Hermione couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy over the other’s skin.

“You don’t know anything about the wizarding word, do you?” Came the sound of a mocking question. Anger blaze, hotter within her. “Not even two hours and you act like you know everything.”

“I-I read Hogwarts: A His-”

The hand tighten its grip.

“A useless book that has nothing on actually living your whole life in the magical world. Word of advice, don’t be disrespecting another’s culture.” Lavender scorned, pushing the other away before walking to her chosen bed. The now most disliked girl let out a gasp as she stumbled back. “Less you end up at the end of someone else’s wand. Also, don’t be going around breaking bones or losing ‘em. Skele-Go is a potion created by a lame Beauty Witch after all.”

“Aren’t there a handful of Beauty Witches working in St Mungo’s Hospital?” A black girl, Kellen Rosier, with twin brown ponytails asked nervously, looking between the two.

”Y-yeah.” The girl, Fay Dunbar, with an auburn pixie cut and slanted eyes, piped up. She waved her arm loosely, almost hitting the last girl, Parvati Patil, with a braid. “They work with those who don’t have arms and stuff!”

With that, everyone went back to talking. Hermione felt as if something became close to her. I don’t need them. She thought in anger, wiping tears away. I’ll prove I’m better than them all.

She spent the months after unable to see her reflection in the mirror in the girl’s dorm room. At least until she befriend the two boys who obviously need her. Should have known a talking mirror was a creation of a Beauty Witches.)

“Whoa there, Lav.” Parvati reached out to pull her best friend back.

“Ugh…not again.” Kellen mumbled sharing a look with Fay. She rolled her dark brown eyes as she gestured tiredly around the table causing Fay to giggle. “Dick measuring contest much.”

“Be nice.” Fay whisper with a loud snort. Neville Longbottom look at her with a crooked smile. Blushing in embarrassment she let out a cough to get their attention. “Ladies! Ladies! Leave that shit in the common rooms.”

“Shouldn’t we be joining Harry in running after. Ron?” Dean Thomas asked anxiously.

Lavender shook her head. Confronting Ron was Harry’s job and they couldn’t interfere. Jealousy scratch at her ears for her small blossoming crush but knew that Ron would not look her way. Not with Harry standing in front of him. So she opened her mouth to rebuff Dean before the all great knowing-it all jumped it.

“Of course not.” Hermione lofty declined, her nose slightly in the air. Hands tightened on her arms. “In fact, we shouldn’t have Harry indulge Ronald’s tantrum.”

Her dark brown eyes blacken with despisement.

Lavender bared her teeth as string instruments sung in her ears. “Tantrum?”

“Ronald is just being stupid for being jealous of Harry’s name being called. Which is rubbish! I get that he feels overshadowed by his brothers but honestly-”

“Jealous?!” A snarl of a lioness rage filled the air. Everyone still in the room jumped in fright. Parvati jumped to her feet and seized her taller friend with Fay. Both girls struggled to hold the enraged Beauty Witch-in-training back. Seamus, who was slowly agreeing with the brunette, fell off the bench with a shout. “How fucking dare you?!”

“How dare I?!” Came the hissing reply. The room became dark, cold and quiet except for the rubato tempo that was rising. For a petrifying moment, Hermione felt as if she was in the Forbidden Forest back in first year. “How dare you! I know my boys. I know Ron. He is being a sodding jealous twat that needs to get over himself for Harry!”

She knows them?

Lavender scoffs.

“Oh? Hmm…I see how it is. Hermione knows best. Hermione’s the adult.” The middle child of the Brown clan sang with a mocking facsimile smile. Neville gently pulled Kellen closer to his side at the sight of her shiver. He could understand, Lavender has never sound like this before. “Such a clever, grown-up miss. Hermione knows best.”

The voice of the child prodigy echoed in the air.

They’re acting like children.

“Fine, if you’re so sure now! Go ahead and prove me wrong.”

Either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed-or worst, expelled!

“This is what we want. This is what we need to see. Prove us the jealousy. We’ll see! Trust me, my dear. This is how a friendship ends.”

Rubbish.

“I won’t say I told you so.”

Hermione felt her eyes burn as everything became blurry. She desperately racked her brain to stop this. She knew her boys. She knew them. Lavender knew nothing. That girl was just a bubble, blonde bimbo. The smart girl was always right. She was always right. Brown was just a middle school equivalent of a cheerleader. She couldn’t compare to her at all. AT ALL!

“No, Hermione knows best. So if you’re such a genius,” The pure-blood spat angrily, getting into the muggle-born’s space. “Go and put it to the test. If you fail…”

Tears dripped onto the floor.

”Don’t come crying…”

Hermione pivot on the heels of her feet and ran out.

“I saw it all.”

She was the smartest witch of her generation.

~.~.~.~

Percy looked at what looked like a broadway musical scene his great aunt Muriel and her younger son John took him to as a child. He couldn’t help but be impress. He didn’t know his fellow pure-blood had such a pair of lungs. Well maybe he shouldn’t be that shock. The brown family were known not only for birthing witches with strong skills in beauty and love spells but entertainer of theater.

He watched and felt the dinning hall filled with warmth and light once again. The third child of the Weasley family let out a sigh as he sunk into his chair. Why did his brothers have to do something like this?

The mocking.

The disrespect.

The dangerous pranks they play.

Percy was tired.

He was use to having all this actions being used on him. He was use to this.

But going after Ron, who was practically begging them to let him go? Percival Septimus Weasley was not going to let that slide. (Like when he made sure that they didn’t get away with almost killing Ron with a sodding acid lollipop. Did they even think what would happen if Ron had swallowed it? There’s a reason why those things were not snacks for children but for adults.) Just because his mother is too soft in disciplining the twins that apparently remind her of her brothers, doesn’t mean he is. He was going to make sure those two idiots understood what they did was wrong.

Now where are those tweebs?

Sacred 28 vs The Sacred 28 3

Draco: *being a brat* Oh look, it a she-weasley. Red hair, fr-

Ginny: *doesn’t spare him a glance as she runs by him* Oh look, it a dumb bitch who can't tie his shoes.

Draco: *flabbergasted* E-excuse me?! Once my father-

Ron: Your father couldn't find his way out a paper bag *jumps over his head to catch his sister* Ginny, back off! It my day to be with Harry!

Ginny: *farther down the hall, cackling* Suck it bitch!

Draco: *taken back, confused but still trying to gain his footing* I-I'll have you know, my father and I are part of-

George: *pops out from Draco’s right side* You guys aren't even that high on the pure-blood list

Fred: *pops up from the left* On either list to be exact.

Twins: *takes off placing bets on their younger siblings*

Draco: *fumbling for the last word* How dare-

Percy: *speed walking past to get his siblings* Oh hush child of the ninth branch of the 18th house. You're in the presence of the fourth branch of the 10th house

Pansy: *facepalms*

Lily’s Ghost That Haunts Them 4

(Fifth Year Golden Trio Era)

Seamus: Fuck, fuck, fuck! *running for his life*

Dean: Don’t look back! Don’t look back! *racing after him*

Neville: *following after in tears* I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!

Hermione: *the one tugging him to keep you* You can’t believe?! What about me? I can’t die like this! I haven’t graduated yet!

Harry: *stumbling as he runs backwards try to calm a fuming Ron* N-now Ronnie. It was j-just a joke. Just a joke! *trips over his feet* ITS A JOKE!

Ron: *looks like an off brand Poison Ivy* I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BASTARDS!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

Flitwick: *watching them as he drink his tea* Ah to be young again.*Pause for a minute* Now where did I see this before?

(Fifth Year Marauders Era)

Sirius: Fuck! *running for his life*

Severus: Oh by jovi *races after him*

Peter: Why god, why? *in tears following*

Remus: You idiots! *is the one tugging him along*

James: L-Lily, my love! It w-was just a joke! was*stumbling as he runs backwards until he trips* IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

Lily: *an off brand Poison Ivy* BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Flitwick: *watching them as he drinks his tea* Ah to be young again.

Ron: Ah! An ugly, disgusting spider!

Spider: Ah! A depressed bitch.

Ron:

Spider:

Ron: *pulls out his wand*

One Second Later

Ron:

Den Mom Ron

(First Year)

Ron meeting Harry for the first time: Awe baby. He my friend now.

Ron after the Sorcerer’s Stone: Momma Potter forgive me but I’m Harry’s mom now.

Ron meeting Hermione for the first time: Oh my god! Calm down girl! Drink your tea! Bloody hell, I’m not your mom.

Ron after the Troll and lighting the teachers on fire: BLOODY FUCK! DRINK YOUR TEA AND CALM DOWN! I’M YOUR MOTHER NOW.

Ron meeting Neville: Awe my baby now. I’m gonna teach you how to fuck someone up.

Ron after Neville stood up to him and his friends: That’s my baby!!! That’s my baby! Wish he didn’t use that on us but I’m so proud!

Ron meeting Lavender: Ah a fellow pure-blood. You’ll make a great Beauty Witch like your foremothers. May you bring them honor. Good luck in your future medical profession!

Ron after watching Lavender shut Hermione down after she talked down about Beauty n’ Love Witches: Get her, Lav! Get her! That’s my baby girl! What Harry? Mione was asking for it. Just because she’s been here for two months, doesn’t mean she knows everything. Lot of Beauty Witches work in the hospital. One even created that bone-regeneration potion, ya know.

Ron meeting Seamus: Hello new roommate! Hope we can get along for the next six to seven years.

Ron after seeing Seamus blowing things up: BLOODY FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! GET A TEACHER! YOU ARE GROUNDED SEAMUS FINNIGAN! GROUND!

Ron meeting Parvati: Huh…did I see her with blu-Oh! Right, she’s like the twins. She seems like the calming sort.

Ron after watching Parvati play switch-a-roo with her twin: I now understand my mum.

Ron meeting Fay: Oh she’s studying to an Auror? Sweet, can’t wait to see her there.

Ron after seeing Fay throw hands with a six year: Nooooo! Why?! My baby!

Ron meeting Kellen: Ah I see she likes Care Of Magical Creatures. A very hard profession. Good luck to her. She seems like she’ll make it far.

Ron after seeing Kellen try to smuggle a magical creature: YOUNG LADY! YOU PUT THAT CREATURE BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT OR SO HELP ME, MORGAN LE FAY!

Ron meeting Dean: Thanks for helping me with the boys new friend.

Ron after watching Dean team up with Seamus: How can you betray me like this? You were the only one I can trust to keep a good head in his shoulder. Shut up Harry. I’m not being dramatic.

Sacred 28 vs Sacred 28 2

(Dining Hall At Lunch Time)

Hermione: *flops her down at the Griffindor’s dining bench heavily* I can not find anything about the 28 in the library.

Ron: *corrects her mindlessly* Sacred 28, not to be mistaken for the 28th Māori or the Sacred 28th

Dean: The Māori?

Ron: Yeah, the 28th. Battalion Māori. *mumbles* Technically Māori is between the 28th n’ Battalion if you want to get anal about it.

Lavender: *distracted by her Astronomy homework and not paying attention to the topic* There’s a difference ?

Ron: *knows as pure-blood, she was taught this in homeschool and stares at her blankly* Lav…please…

Lavender: *hums mindlessly*

Parvati: *sighs and facepalms*

Blaise: Of course there is. One has to do with muggles in WW2 and the other is the beginning of magic *passing by*

Ron: Thanks!

Blaise: *gives him awkward finger guns*

Seamus: How would you know?

Blaise: It affected the people on my mother’s side. You know the Greeks, North African and Italian campaigns? We had family members apart of it.

Seamus: *tilts his head at his words in thought then gains foot in mouth syndrome* Is this because you’re black?

Gryffindor: *takes turns smacking him* Seamus!

Blaise: I’m full Italian, thank you. *looks down at Seamus then smirks a Ron* Well there is a bit of Portuguese from father of course. First born to the Portuguese Seventh son of the Seventh son and the Italian Seventh Daughter of the Seventh Daughter.

Ron: *stares at him in enamored, star-struck awe*

Harry: *suddenly feels threatened and clings to Ron, hissing at the Slytherin student*

Hermione: *Done with everyone’s shit and still wanting to know what is the Sacred 28 vs The Sacred 28* Honestly!

Lily’s Ghost That Haunts Them 3

Herbology class

Ron: *trying to stuff a huge seed down Draco’s throat* Son of a-

Blaise: *panicking as he tries to stop him but is also impressive with the guts Ron has to do this in front of the teacher* Weasley please!

Professor Sprout: *Not really paying attention as she goes around the classroom, interacting with the other students* Evan’s, stop trying to force the Devil’s Snare seed down Malfoy’s throat. *points at Harry and Neville* Potter, Lupin, can you Snape with those two?

Harry: *having an internal mental breakdown at the thought of his mother might being worst then his father.*

Neville: *giving the other boy a side eye before going to help Blaise*

Lily’s Ghost That Haunts Them 2

(In the Gryffindor’s Common Room)

Ron: *is standing in front of a wall covered with moving pictures of the exclusive pure-blood duels throughout Hogwarts* Hmmm…

Harry: *laying down on the couch, face down*

Hermione: *taking frantic notes as she sits on Harry’s back* Fascinating, I didn’t know Hogwarts had so many mock battles throughout the years!

Ron: *ominous* Not mocking. It was a duel to the death-

Harry: *let out a loud groan of dismay *

Ron: Of the person’s reputation all throughout- Are you okay Harry?

Gryffindors in the Room: *watches them warily*

Professor McGonagall: *chuckling, remembering Lily Evans doing the same thing in her fifth year as Sirius Black took notes before preparing to go off to war* Ah, this bring me back…

A 7th year: Professor?

McGonagall: I remember one Lily Potter, née Evans, doing exactly the same thing as Mr Ron Weasley before taking the Duel Tournament by storm. She would have won too…if Flitwick hadn’t join in the last minute. *sighs in disappointment* At least they tied.

Gryffindors: *remembers that Flitwick placed in 2nd in all of Europe in Dueling* Oh dear…

Sacred 28 or The Sacred 28

Draco: *Talking shit like always, loudly in the halls of Hogwarts*

Everyone: *stops to judge him and mocking him quietly*

Draco: And you see, Granger, this is why the sacred twenty-eighth will never lower themselves to marry the likes of you. Only someone boorish and idiotic would, isn’t that right Weasley?

Harry: *gearing up to hex the blond* Malfoy-

Ron: *bored and completely done with conversation* The sacred twenty-eight? Or The Sacred Twenty-eight?

Hermione: Why can I hear the bold, italic, and underline on the second one?

Ron: Well one is the inbred pure-blooded stupidity and the other is the actual True Pillars Of Magic; Sacred Twenty-eight.

Draco: *red with embarrassment* How dare-

Ron: Shut up 18th House, the 10th House is talking. *walking away with his friends to give them an in-depth explanation*

The Slytherin House: *facepalms*

Lily's Ghost That Haunts Them

Ron:*Standing in front of Harry with a broken leg, mangle arm from being bit and ready to throw down* You wanna go bro? You wanna go down?! I can take you! Kick your arse! You wanna kill Harry? Y'all got to kill us all! Come at me you lily-white, ugly arse-

Harry:*panicking, trying to get Ron to sit and off his broken leg* Oh fucking Merlin! Ron! Ron! No bad Ron! *Struggling* Calm down please!

Ron: No balls, nipples hanging, skinny twink!

Sirius: *having multiple horrifying flashbacks to when Lily Evans starting fights in righteous anger over her friends all throughout Hogwarts with James Potter trying to calm her down in a panic*

Sirius: Welp…I lived an okay life.

Ron: I don’t need a bloody wand to-

Hermione: *covering her face in embarrassment and fear* Shhhh Ron, no, please! Stop egging the bloody serial killer! Ronald!

Ron: *lets out a scream as he tackles a shrieking Sirius*

Remus/Severus/Peter: *Flashback to when 4’9 first year Lily taking on a guy twice her height and weight….and winning* Bloody fuck…

Goblet Of Fire Meets Musical

“Let me go! Let me go!”

Harry’s head shot up in alarm at a very familiar voice. It was the voice of someone he hadn’t talk to in three days.

“I bloody swear George!” Four seats down from where he sat, stood Ron Weasley (the very boy…them? Ron once mention that he didn’t feel much like a boy a year ago as they shared the bed in the nurse’s infirmary. Both completely tired and full of trauma that was Harry’s father and friends drama; clutching onto each other over close calls.) struggling against his brothers. Pearly white teeth bared in hot coals of inferno rage. Freckles that Harry love to count during History of Magic disappearing under burgundy red blush. “Fred! Get Off! I’ll tell mum! I will, you’ll see!”

The green eyed teen, now know as the fourth campion in the triwizard tournament, quickly struggled to get up on his feet. Unadulterated panic ran throughout his veins to his weak heart (anything that made his Best Friend cry out send him into a frenzy) as if it was in a race. Gasps of shock and whispers of confusion filled the half full dinner hall. His eyes never leaving the struggling form of the youngest Weasley son even as his large heavy glasses start to slide off his face.

“Come now Ronnnie!” George cackled pulling his little brother closer.

“We just want a bit of a chat.” Fred tittered with what sounded to malice glee to onlookers’ discomfort. “Truly ickle Ronnikins! You act like-”

“We’re going to do something untowards! How cruel.”

“How boarish.”

“Hurts. Right here.”

“In the heart.”

“But being cruel is what he’s good at, ain’t he Gred?” Fred asked in mock jest as he starts to pull out what looked to be one of the twins new product. Ron’s electric blue eyes widened as they start to glow white in fear, his struggling becoming frantic. “Being jealous of our poor little Potter.”

Ron stilled in confusion. Harry watched as pale chapped pink lips mouthing the word ‘jealous’.

“That there, you be right Feorge.” George agreed grabbing his captive brother’s chin tightly. Glee filled his body as it always done at the thought of playing a tiny prank at their bother. “Maybe he can pent a bit by helping us with this new product?”

“Oh yes my dearest twin. What an excellent idea! Come Lil’ickle Ronnikins! Help us test out our new Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes Party sing n’ dance!”

Ron let out a shout of terror as he renew his tussle to get away from his childhood tormentors. He refuses to be a guinea pig for them once again against his will. Electric blue eyes, nearly white, looked around for help. He could see couple of students from the other schools race out of their seats to get to him from the laughing Slytherin and gossiping Ravenclaw tables. Even Harry (probably realizing that sending the twins at him like a pack of bloodhounds was a bad idea. For being jealous. Jealous! Honestly, where did he get that idea? Jealous.) was staggering their way.

“Hé! Laissez-le partir!” A red wine haired teenager girl from Beauxbaton snarled as she snarled. She whipped out her reddish-gray wand and called out a spell. “Libération!”

Everyone waited with bated breath as pastel red flash of energy shot out of the girl’s wand and hit the closes arm. They watch as Fred’s arm spasm, causing the large truffle size ball to smack into the youngest male Weasley’s cheekbone. Watched as it exploded and cover all three males in a bright nova colored cloud. Red wine haired teen let out a surprised squeal as she clasps her hands to her mouth in shame.

“Ron!” Harry cried out, floundered toward them impulsively. His only thought was to get to his sunset red haired boy. “Ron talk to me!”

Coughing was his only answer.

That was before a gust of heat like an oven pulse out as fire flared out to the ceiling. The students closes to the fire screech out, scrambling to get away. Harry himself took a few steps back, eyes blinking in discomfort. Once his eyes stop watering, he took in the sight of Ron’s hair doing its best to be a forest fire.

(“My family is blessed with fire.” Ron mumbled into his chest, sleep dancing in his voice. The slightly older boy rubbed his face into the other’s over-baggy pajama shirt. “Da’s da was said to be *yawn* from the third branch of the great Bear Queen. Fire has power over us in sum. Drag still hur’ thou.”

“Third branch?” Harry asked with a softest of tone, eyes to heavy with the sandman’s dreamer magic.

“Third child that had child of their own. ‘Tis a pure-blood thingy. Gotta be strong string to magik thou.”

“Hmm…”)

“You…” Ron snarled, hair getting brighter.

“Now Ronnie…” Fred stammered as he took a clumsy step backward, pulling George with him. “Let’s be calm?”

The younger twin squeaked as he clung to the other’s arm. “I thought only Charlie and Percy could do that.”

“Not now Georgie.”

“Ah, right Freddie.”

Soon an eerie sound of music filled the air.

The room started to darkened and chill.

Not a sound came from the only students and staff in the room as Ron took a calculated step towards his beloved brothers. His usually sweet, joyful face was now cold and stone. Eyes no longer glowing white with fear but with hot blue hell fire.

“It seems, difficult brothers will take advantage of my good nature.” Was hissed out, sending a shudder through all. A hand (a bruise starting to form at its wrist) slowly raises towards the cowering six years. “So lets lock them up.”

The fire from the fourth year’s hair slithered down his neck, across his arm and out his fingers like snakes. Zooming to the air as if it was a hawk diving for its prey. Fred and George screamed as the flames became solid, wrapping around them like rope.

“Throw away the key! I bet there’s one on every tree.” Lyrics coldly being song out through Ron’s lips. Allowing everyone to feel the anger, the hatred and the completely done emotion that was swirling like a whorlpool within the singer’s body.

Memorized by what was happening in front of him, Harry jumped as someone grabbed his robes. His head snapped to look behind him to see Hermione watching with horror.

“Ungrateful!” Came tearing out of Fred’s throat.

George followed after; “Hateful!”

“Vile too!” They sang together in stress.

Ron could feel his eyes roll as if he was playing a role in a story that he had no control over. He was enraged, that much was true but to embarrass his brothers like this? Well…he wasn’t the twins themselves. They were the arses and cruel ones in the family. He should know…fourteen years was enough to see that. “The thing they put me through. Break my spirit as they play! Making me into a silly display. Maybe you’d called wholesome play…”

Tears slowly snuck into his eyes.

“But I’ll call it cruel.” A sob threatened to escape from him; “Cruel love.”

Unwilling to breakdown and become even more of a laughing stock, Ron pulled out his own wand. With a shuddering gasp of air, he summoned the rest of the product. He knew that those….he didn’t know what to call them at the moment. Not that it matters to him right now. He was just too tired for this shite.

“I bloody hope you two know how to handle a sodding lawsuit in case some poor sod is allergic.”

Fred shaking his head to clear, he couldn’t help but question his brother. “Whatcha mean?”

Ron shot five looking truffles into the air, exclaiming; “Vehemens Ventus!”

The room bellow as the spell hit the products. A strong gust that could be considered as a tornado ravaged the arena. Smoke covering their eyes like a dense black fog and filled their lungs, suffocating like an uncontrollable forest fire.

“You want to play arseholes?” The cause of the chaos inquired forbidding. Blue flames glare at the trembling forms of the ones that started the path of the chaos causer. “ Hahaha fine. Game on…bitches.”