(Movie Hp meets My AU Hp)
AU Hermione: *looks at m.Hermione in horror* No way…I seem so…ugh perfect. Burn it Ron.
Movie Hermione: Excuse me!?*looks affronted*
Au Hermione: You’re excuse.
The Harrys: *circling each other like feral cats*
AU Harry: *suddenly freezes* Something just happened
AU Harry: *runs to the Hogwarts’ courtyard* Ron Bilus!
Movie Harry: ???
(Courtyard)
*AU Ron being choked in the air by the collar- by m.Ron’s hand- as he chokes m.Ron around the neck with his legs*
Hogwart’s Students: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Twins: Step right up!
Fred: Place your bets!
George: Choose your Ronnie!
AU Hermione: How dare!
Movie H&H: *sighs
AU Hermione: Why didn’t anyone tell me, we’re betting on Ron?! *pulls out a gallon*
AU Harry: *pulls out 30 gallons then shrugs when stared at* Can’t bet them? Join them
Ginny: Come on Ronnie! I got 20 gallons riding on you!
Percy: Show that faker who’s boss! *handing a surprise Fred 40 gallons*
Professor Trelawney: Ah! I was wondering why I got Evan’s old vision this year. *takes a sip of her flask with a chuckle* Put down for 60 on our worlds Ronald. Just like Lily.
Movie H&H: Bloody Hell?
im stalking your page because i found a ron weasley lily evans post and i couldnt stop laughig oh my gosh
*screeches* Thank you!!!! I'm glad you're having gas (old slang for fun- I believe) with the HP dabbles!
Ron: *complaining about a Karen at his summer job in the hospital* She came at me a; ‘No. You can’t be a nurse, you’re not wearing the uniform’.
Lavender: Oof.
Kellen: *mumbles* This is why I work with animals.
Ron: Should have join you. I mean what did that lady expect? The uniform to be a slutty nurse outfit? *cracks the table with a bang of his fist* Get over it Stacy.
Professor Slughorn: *pause, turns around and walks out of the classroom* Not to day Satan.
(Marauder’s era)
Lily: *complains about her job because of a karen*
Her dorm mates: *nods in understanding*
Lily: What did she expect? Us to be wearing slutty maid uniforms? Come on Susie. *bangs her fist, cracking the table* Get with the program.
Professor Slughorn: *jumps and spills hot tea on his pants*
(Fifth Year Golden Trio Era)
Seamus: Fuck, fuck, fuck! *running for his life*
Dean: Don’t look back! Don’t look back! *racing after him*
Neville: *following after in tears* I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!
Hermione: *the one tugging him to keep you* You can’t believe?! What about me? I can’t die like this! I haven’t graduated yet!
Harry: *stumbling as he runs backwards try to calm a fuming Ron* N-now Ronnie. It was j-just a joke. Just a joke! *trips over his feet* ITS A JOKE!
Ron: *looks like an off brand Poison Ivy* I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BASTARDS!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
Flitwick: *watching them as he drink his tea* Ah to be young again.*Pause for a minute* Now where did I see this before?
(Fifth Year Marauders Era)
Sirius: Fuck! *running for his life*
Severus: Oh by jovi *races after him*
Peter: Why god, why? *in tears following*
Remus: You idiots! *is the one tugging him along*
James: L-Lily, my love! It w-was just a joke! was*stumbling as he runs backwards until he trips* IT WAS JUST A JOKE!
Lily: *an off brand Poison Ivy* BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Flitwick: *watching them as he drinks his tea* Ah to be young again.
Herbology class
Ron: *trying to stuff a huge seed down Draco’s throat* Son of a-
Blaise: *panicking as he tries to stop him but is also impressive with the guts Ron has to do this in front of the teacher* Weasley please!
Professor Sprout: *Not really paying attention as she goes around the classroom, interacting with the other students* Evan’s, stop trying to force the Devil’s Snare seed down Malfoy’s throat. *points at Harry and Neville* Potter, Lupin, can you Snape with those two?
Harry: *having an internal mental breakdown at the thought of his mother might being worst then his father.*
Neville: *giving the other boy a side eye before going to help Blaise*
(In the Gryffindor’s Common Room)
Ron: *is standing in front of a wall covered with moving pictures of the exclusive pure-blood duels throughout Hogwarts* Hmmm…
Harry: *laying down on the couch, face down*
Hermione: *taking frantic notes as she sits on Harry’s back* Fascinating, I didn’t know Hogwarts had so many mock battles throughout the years!
Ron: *ominous* Not mocking. It was a duel to the death-
Harry: *let out a loud groan of dismay *
Ron: Of the person’s reputation all throughout- Are you okay Harry?
Gryffindors in the Room: *watches them warily*
Professor McGonagall: *chuckling, remembering Lily Evans doing the same thing in her fifth year as Sirius Black took notes before preparing to go off to war* Ah, this bring me back…
A 7th year: Professor?
McGonagall: I remember one Lily Potter, née Evans, doing exactly the same thing as Mr Ron Weasley before taking the Duel Tournament by storm. She would have won too…if Flitwick hadn’t join in the last minute. *sighs in disappointment* At least they tied.
Gryffindors: *remembers that Flitwick placed in 2nd in all of Europe in Dueling* Oh dear…
Ron:*Standing in front of Harry with a broken leg, mangle arm from being bit and ready to throw down* You wanna go bro? You wanna go down?! I can take you! Kick your arse! You wanna kill Harry? Y'all got to kill us all! Come at me you lily-white, ugly arse-
Harry:*panicking, trying to get Ron to sit and off his broken leg* Oh fucking Merlin! Ron! Ron! No bad Ron! *Struggling* Calm down please!
Ron: No balls, nipples hanging, skinny twink!
Sirius: *having multiple horrifying flashbacks to when Lily Evans starting fights in righteous anger over her friends all throughout Hogwarts with James Potter trying to calm her down in a panic*
Sirius: Welp…I lived an okay life.
Ron: I don’t need a bloody wand to-
Hermione: *covering her face in embarrassment and fear* Shhhh Ron, no, please! Stop egging the bloody serial killer! Ronald!
Ron: *lets out a scream as he tackles a shrieking Sirius*
Remus/Severus/Peter: *Flashback to when 4’9 first year Lily taking on a guy twice her height and weight….and winning* Bloody fuck…