All of this is a mood, including the tags, lol.
Our "many" disabilities disable us? Who would have guessed? Lol (this is mostly a dig at ourselves).
- Shay (They/it)
I often have to stop myself whenever I catch myself going “it’s just that easy” or “why can’t I be like this all the time?” after doing the most mundane shit without second thought.
It’s not that easy, I’m just having a really good day so far.
I can’t be like that all the time, I have a disability.
And that’s ok.
As a plural [questioning origin] who is new to the plural and system community in general, I wanna point out that from what we've seen being a system/plural is not really the whole thing with DID and other dissociative disorder like that, it's the trauma and being a system is more of an "add-on" (sorry for phrasing it like that).
So people saying they are PLURAL or a SYSTEM or whatever other word they prefer to use without trauma is not misdiagnosing themselves cause they aren't claiming to have DID or OSDD or other trauma based dissociative disorders without trauma. They are just saying that they have a similar thing to people with those disorders (I hope we are explaining this correctly).
So why are anti endos so obsessed with trying to call them fake or saying that they are doing that? If you just listen to them, you would learn more, and isn't that better? Don't traumagenic systems/plurals want to be listened to instead of being thought of badly from misinformation and bad representation and shit? So why aren't they doing that for endos?
I wouldn't usually jump into "discourse" or anything, but we felt like this needed to be said and understood. If you don't like this post, leave my account, go ahead, and block me. It will save everyone a ton of time.
- Lakey (They/it + blu/blue/blues/blues/blueself) & Shay (They/it) | almost always here as the host, lol
I think a big part of the reason that I went from anti-endo to endo-safe was absolutely due to how starkly different the communities felt.
Anti-endo communities were hard to engage with. Sure, some of them would focus on their support for each other more than their hatred of endogenic systems. And that's great! However, when you are brought together by your dislike of a certain group, you can't help but feel the hate permiate into so much of it. It always happened eventually. Anti-endo communities had such a focus on systems who were "fake" that I couldn't help but worry I was one of them, no matter how much they told me it was "just endos" they were concerned about.
The endo community (at least the parts I've engaged with and were easy to find) were so kind and respected me as a system, no matter how I felt or my plurality presented. Simply knowing we could find joy in our plurality allowed us to strive for so much more than we had thought possible before.
As a traumagenic system, we've improved so much with our symptoms and communication as a result of the positivity and acceptance we recieved. When we joined communities where we could be authenticallly ourselves (no matter what), we came together and faced so much less conflict between each other. And the conficts we did have, we realized that we could solve them together rather than alone.
When you are constantly doubting if you are "actually a system", you start to push the others away, and that made our dissociation and amnesia so much worse. I understand being careful of self-misdiangnosis, it can put you on the wrong path for how you learn to manage your symptoms. At the same time, the sentiment I often heard from endogenic systems when I was struggling with doubt and denial was very simple: "So what if you're not a system?" In short, it was okay to be wrong.
And that was huge for me. I realized that, no matter if I was a system or not, the techniques I used to improve ourselves and communicate with one another beneficial to me. At the end of the day, even if I wasn't a system after all, the skills I had found we invaluble to my health and well-being. So when I fall into denial spirals, no matter what I think about myself, I now know that I don't need to deprive myself of what has helped me, even if it is a "system thing." I don't feel scared to use these skills anymore (even in denial spirals), beacuse the line between what systems and non-systems or singlets can/can't do suddenly wasn't a big deal or a battle of "who can do what."
Our plurality is no longer a burden or a scar to us. It is simply who we are. We've learned so much about each other and ourselves since we've been accepted in full, and since we've learned to accept others. Endogenic communities have helped us (a traumagenic system) probably more than they'll ever know, and we're forever grateful for that.
So thank you, endogenic systems.
Not tagged, but we wanted to do this.
There are quite a few songs stuck in our head rn, lol.
This is the main one, though, lol. Watched some of the Agatha All Along episodes a few days ago, and this song has been stuck in our head since.
- Lakey (They/it + blu/blue/blues/blues/blueself) | I think this is the first post with Lakey, lol.
[Wanna mention that I (Shay/Zuki) am almost always 'fronting' and shit, so I'm still here as well as Lakey.] | {"typical" pronouns for me (Shay/Zuki) which are they/it}
If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)
I'm gonna start calling ourself a system/plural, I don't know the exact origin yet, cause I don't know if I had "enough" trauma at the "right" time for it to be DID or OSDD or any other dissociative disorder. But it feels like we are a system/plural.
We will only really be doing this here, I am unsure if I am gonna tell anyone I know in real life for now. I might wait till I figure out our origin, and even then, it would only be a few people that I would tell.
This feels like the right words and terms for what we feel. I will just be using system and plural for us as terms until I figure out more, of course.
- Shirley (They/them + ix/ix/ixs/ixs/ixself) | feels like the right name rn
[Using both I/me and we/our]