Mentalheathawareness - Blog Posts

It’s like walking through a field of flowers

wearing a white flowy dress and you’re happy

you’re picking flowers and it’s a joy so immense

nobody can stop you, you’re free but then

you hit a wall, the flowers in your hands are not there

they’re replaced by rubbish, and then you look back

and it’s no longer the field of flowers.. it’s a mess

a mess that you have no choice but to fix

so you do, you walk back

and start piecing it all together and you’re sad

you’re guilty because you created such chaos

you beat yourself up about it as you see everything;

the people you hurt, the mistakes you made,

the good ideas that were actually bad ideas

then once it’s clean you’re excited.. it’s the field again

and you’re running through it again and it’s scary

because you never know where the wall is

when you’ll be stuck looking at the mess again

but you still enjoy it, you still love the flowers..

MSI

< Bipolar Disorder In My Words >

- We all break at a point. How long are you going to hold on?

- Forever. I'll hold on forever if I have to.

MADD GUIDE

Please reblog so more people who need to see it get to see it :)

This may be MADD focused, but anyone having trouble with focusing and arranging their life, mental illness or not, can read and find this helpful!

Please skim through the different options that are color coded, but read through the normal text under the bold text questions :), they are important. Please read through this entire post, trust me you’ll need to see everything.

- what is MADD?

It’s an abbreviation for maladaptive daydreaming disorder! It is a coping mechanism many people have (usually developed during childhood but doesn’t have to be) causes by childhood stress, loneliness, and/or trauma. This leads them to daydream excessively to the point where they disassociate and lose track of time. There is no “official” cure for it, hell it’s not even recognized in the DMV, but professionals have heard and treated it before.

-…. so what do I do if I have it?

1. Realize it is out of your control to have this coping mechanism and, it doesn’t reflect on who you are. it reflects who or what did something that caused this to happen

2. Get professional help if you can! I know it’s embarrassing, but you don’t deserve to suffer silently purely because you are too ashamed of your daydreams. Therapists and psychologists are there to help you by understanding you, if you hear judgment from them then they aren’t a good mental health professional and you should get someone else!

-ok but??? I don’t see this as a problem??? Literally can’t live without it and it makes me feel great???

It makes you feel great because it’s a coping mechanism, but you don’t feel as great when you focus out of a conversation, when you miss work, and you miss events. It feels great in the short term, but it’s disastrous and stressful in the long term and makes those prioritize a imaginative life instead of your real life. It’s all fun and games until the procascination catches up to you and you feel so defeated and frustrated.

-….. so what if I’m young and/or I can’t get help?

There is a possibility that you can “cure” it by yourself and with nothing else, but please recognize if it’s caused by a deep rooted issue like it often is, you will not be able to fully get rid of it. MADD from my personal observations and professionals acts like a mask as those who often have MADD also have ADHD, depression, and or anxiety. This is why it’s hard for a lot to force themselves not to daydream, it often leads them to deal with those mental illnesses and disorders that are heavy.

Note: even with professional help, you may get it again due to whatever reason or continue to have it for a while, for a lot of people, it’s not completely gone from their life! But those who do have it and don’t have any professional help and those who do have and have professional help can definitely do the following suggestions bellow! ^^

There are however ways to cope with it (yes coping for a coping mechanism lol)

1. (Necessary) Self love, self care, self confidence- nobody really thinks about self care when they think of how to handle this coping mechanism, but it makes sense when you think it through. Daydreaming this much leads to losing track of time, it means you don’t have a schedule which also means you don’t have a time where you take care of yourself. This leads you to feel stress and overwhelmed by the amount of things you didn’t do, pushing yourself, daydreaming, and repeating a cycle where you neglect yourself and hate yourself and are more miserable. Self love is a journey you take by yourself, and you can get there a million different ways. It can be telling yourselves affirmations everyday, or wearing clothes that bring you joy so you feel good about yourself. This is an absolute necessary everyone needs in their life regardless of whether they have MADD or not.

2. Meditate!- many find meditation helpful, and it is! Meditation helps you be aware of your surroundings, therefore keeping you grounded therefore keeps your head from going up in the clouds! ⛅️

ALL OF HEADSPACE MEDITATIONS BUT U DIDNT HEAR IT FROM ME: https://href.li/?https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sZ7Rev2ownSl-JlUn2VhE87RBwW9ZX9n

3. vision board!!- vision boards are a collage of photos which visually tell what you want achieved during the year, it is a great way to keep track of what you want and and remind you of what you really want and what your end goal is. You can either do a digital, or physical version, or both!

Digital how-to: https://youtu.be/kTYE3ZvXfXU OR https://youtu.be/TcXm7R3BUdU

Physical how-to: https://youtu.be/qXsYKpnBrF4 OR https://youtu.be/0TD48nEjd6U

4. Write a story or make a comic about your daydream!- tell your story! It doesn’t have to be your entire daydream timeline universe (idk what to call it) but you can make short stories or tell about one of the adventures your characters have gone on! This is a great way to invest in something productive instead of pacing around and daydreaming! You don’t have to be a good writer, but it is a good way of improving your writing skills which is always a helpful school (especially when writing high school or college essays)

5. (Highly suggested) clean yo room- I cannot explain how great it is to see your bedroom all nice and clean, that’s filled with furniture and items that are what you want and love seeing. In other words, clean and rearrange yo room. Some people like to have many bright things in their room, others literally have a closet rack which has their most worn items on it that they reach for. You can be both, you can be neither! The most essential thing is that you have a bedroom where you feel like you can breathe and you feel at peace in. Arrange your room to the best of your abilities, you may not be able to buy new furniture, but it doesn’t hurt to throw old items out and buy new ones, or fill with more things. A tidy room is a tidy mind!

6. Get artsy!- whenever I feel upset or like I daydream, I do art! You can draw, paint, sculpture, or all three and more! This is a great thing to use to channel negative emotions and make you focus. It’s very relaxing and really l it s your energy in soemthing productive! There are so many options you can do, you can find whatever is best for you! Arts and crafts is just as relaxing as painting to some!

Different ways to change up and arrange your room: https://chocolates-and-roses2.tumblr.com/post/642164018760581120/a-deep-room-cleanse

Marie kondo is also a great help in organizing your room! She makes sure you clean your room, and it forever stays that way! She has a series on netlfix as well as a book, you can choose either option though I think the book explains more.

- ORGANIZATION (not an option!)

Nobody (especially students) have gotten away with not writing down and memorizing everything that a teacher has said or that needs to get done. Especially MADDers (yes I’m calling y’all out 👀). Here’s a few options that you can try out, got certainly aren’t expected to do all.

1. BULLET JOURNAL BULLET JOURNAL BULLET JOURNAL- bullet journaling gives you complete control on how to organize your tasks, future events, and important things you need to write down etc… your bullet journal can be completely right down to the bone and simple, or more on the creative aspect. This option will definitely hold you a little bit more accountable considering it’s not all set up for you, you are the one setting it up.

more simple, down to the bone: https://youtu.be/fm15cmYU0IM

For the more creative and/or artsy ones: https://youtu.be/VQUH8VLE0YE

Note: you don’t have to do everything that the people in the videos above have done. Some people may need to put in calendars, others do not. Make sure you cut some things out if you need to to fit your life.

2. Agenda/planner- this is the same as a bullet journal, the only difference is that an agenda/planner has all the months and days laid out for you. It has already laid out everything for you and while some planners give you more content than others, they in general allow to write down events on the calendar provided for each month, write down the task u have for each day, and give you space to write down anything else you need on the sides. Some planners have broken each day down to an hour, so you can write down what you need to do in that time. These are available at your local Walmart and target and there’s tons of cute options :).

More creative way: https://youtu.be/OlDuxRmgWVY

More simple and clean: https://youtu.be/fRTaOqiTq9c

A whole ass system: https://youtu.be/NrVl9468Q_s

If you still don’t understand the difference, I’m sorry for not explaining well, and here’s a vid that explains it well! : https://youtu.be/zSVVdVFMc9E

3. TO DO APPS- these apps range from just the digital version of your average task sticky paper you put on your fridge, to turning your tasks into a whole-ass game which you can level up your character!

To do lists, but make it fun!: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.reviewgeek.com/2319/these-5-apps-turn-your-to-do-list-and-productivity-into-a-game/amp/

Good ol’ to do list (with neat features): https://zapier.com/blog/best-todo-list-apps/

4. Literally just Canva- Canva has templates that are daily planners, you can print it out with all the stuff you need typed out, maybe use it as a guide to whatever design you want on your journal, or print it out and write on it, you can do whatever.

Templates: https://www.canva.com/planners/templates/

5. Block scheduling- you literally turn living hour by hour to living block by block, this system makes you do certain tasks during each block, before focusing on other tasks, this is said to work for everyone, so try it out!

Blog that explains it with video: https://funcheaporfree.com/the-block-schedule-system-what-it-is-how-it-works-and-how-it-will-change-your-life/

There are probably many many many many more ways to organize your life and daily schedule, but I’ve already given you five that, as you go deeper, branch out into different versions, so this should be good enough to start at the very least.

-Help can’t focus while trying to do work and daydream instead :(

Ah yes, the age old issue for MADDers. I myself have trouble with focusing and when things get too stressful us MADDers bounce and just daydream instead. I don’t have many options for this but here are some:

1. FOREST APP- I love this app so much because you set a timer to how long you want to do something, and if you can actually go through with the whole time and not scroll on your phone or daydream, it plants a tree irl! There’s also a non free version of it which I would say: if you got a couple of dollars get the 1.99 one (I think it’s that much)

2. Fidget toys- great way to keep your hands busy while you do your work!

3. Apps that make you set timers and not look at other apps- pretty self explanatory, they are great apps.

https://www.mothermag.com/screen-time-limit-apps/- apps that set limit

4. Take a break???? (Essential, not an option)- You are not a robot, you are a human being with complex emotions and you need love and care just as any other human being does

Other options that are in the first section can also help with focusing, not just these three (but really 2) options ^^

-I literally feel like poop because I am so behind on work and what if I don’t follow through everyday on these different things and let my sadness and MADD get the best of me?

As I mentioned earlier, you are not a robot, you are a human being that needs attention and love. That is why self care is so important and must be in your schedule and in ur fricking life, you need to take care of yourself mentally (self care) and physically (working out, can literally be just jogging). Some days you will not get things you need to get done. Some days you will have mental breakdowns and have nothing done. We are human, we are not perfect. Take a breather and forgive yourself. It is not your fault you have this, but you are much more than MADD and you will accomplish more than this thing is letting you. MADD will never, control you. You control it. Take a deep breath and remember, I would not be typing this so late at night if I didn’t give a damn about any of you. Take dare of yourselves and come back and read this whenever you need to.

With love,

Rose.

Believe that you have the liberty to reach, direct and make the space that allows you to breath, to build walls that provide you shelter, warmth and support rather than one’s that are closing in on you. You have what it takes to create an environment that is comfortable for you to live in, and you have what it takes to learn to love yourself all over again. There are times when the places you live in, trigger responses out of you, and have you behave in a way that don’t necessarily define you at all. So you don’t have to wait around for a chance, or live under the false pretence of an image that isn’t you, because there will come a day when you will make a home that is full of you and have the freedom to define all its boundaries :)

To those of you writing your papers right now, I hope you realise how important it is to mark and acknowledge your progress no matter the amount, and that your academic caliber is not necessarily going to be the same as others and that’s no reason for you to beat yourself up over, because you’ve done what you can by the end of the day. You need to realise the strength, time and effort it took for you to do it because it was YOU who sat down those hours completing your tasks for and all by yourself, not anybody else, so I beg of you to give yourself the credit you so incredibly deserve. <3

sometimes it’s easier said than done than to not want to change, but change does happen, be it within or beyond our will, but change does happen and it hits you like a bullet before you even have the time to prepare yourself for the run. So I’m just here to tell you that it’s okau to admit that you’re hurt and that this pain won’t subside just that easily, that it’s gonna show every morning you wake up and it’s gonna burn every few times you take a shower. That’s what it means to acknowledge it. That’s what it means to accept the very state of your being, and that’s what it requires to patch yourself up, to heal :) so the next time somebody asks you “are you going to change?” breathe in and say “am I going to change? I can’t tell, but I’m going to accept myself”

For all that your heart has seeped in through , for all that you have continued to give, for all that your being has continued to hold, for all that your skin has embraced, for every promise that you’ve thread onto for yourself, to see you on the other side, you made it :) I see you now and you still remain, every bit of you still remains, you made it to 2023. Happy new year <3

here again to tell you that some days are just not going to be that easy, some days you’re going to want to stop everything you’re doing and take a blow to the leg so you stop walking and carrying all the weight you are because of that fraction of population that you met. Those days don’t come as easy as they go, those days are going to have the tightest grip on you till the fact that you’re going to be gasping for air, and they’re going to make you BELIEVE that there’s no way you’re going to be making it out if you haven’t pressed past a ten fold sheet. I’m going to tell you to take a step back and give yourself the time to let all of that unfold, let it lay itself out so you can finally decide the path you’ve been wanting to walk on this entire time, and I promise you with my whole heart, mind and soul that you WILL get that chance, you will and I’m going to be waving at you from the other side of it all :) you strong strong human being

write to yourself. Write to yourself, a letter, for all that you have become, and for all that you will, write to yourself on the first of December, write to yourself because this is the last breath of the year that we’ll spend together before the many more we’ll take ahead. Tell that version of you in the past about all that you overcame, all that you had been looped around, all that made you break. Hold yourself through this letter, and give yourself the closure you need. Letting this be your warmest embrace, Happy first of December <3

My friend came back home from a competition and told me how her partner was disheartened at the fact that her team didn’t make it to the final round of the debate and that there’ll always be biases along the way but that doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of being out there than they are. You. Put. In. Your. All. You went out there and got them. You did what you could at the time and FOR THEN AND FOR YOU that was more than enough, it’s very important to realise your worth regardless of what’s been set out there or what clears through, that doesn’t mean you didn’t push through, you did :)

I Hope you realise that you never have to regret the act of falling in love, you felt what was to be felt at the moment, you let yourself fall in love with the very thought of a person’s breath on your skin, you fell in love with the act of their fingers running through your hair, you fell in love with the act of being in each others presence and doing absolutely nothing. You fell, in love. Please allow yourself to feel the emotions that encompass you, surely you’ve moved on, surely you don’t have that person around you anymore, but allow yourself to be close to others, allow yourself fall yet again, allow yourself to commit the act of giving your whole heart, body, mind, and soul to that one person sitting on the swing across yours, and let those emotions fall whilst. There’s no saying where one can’t learn to hold onto the lingering memory of what once was, it was a memory where you loved them, and it stays untouched basking itself in the warmth. It can be your own little album because you shouldn’t have to fight the smile that creeps up your face :) it was okau to fall, and it’s okau to fall again.

It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back

To keep going regardless of being made aware of what’s to come is honestly one of, if not the bravest thing to do

it’s ok to admit that it’s one of those moments where you’re going to have to hold yourself tight

Gentle reminder that being vulnerable is a blessing, and an even gentler reminder that you can put your socks on and go to sleep, wanting to keep yourself warm is a need, we all accept our warmth and source it through different beings around us, whether or whether not you decide to find that warmth within the linings of the page you happened to accidentally read is completely subjective and understandable, it’s beautiful, so continue to keep it close to you, to have ourselves our own shelter, to have ourselves our own warmth.

I am giving I am continuing I am acknowledging I am breathing I am feeling I am admiring I am constantly processing my own thoughts and emotions, settling them in bit by bit and taking my time full and through even if it means I can’t meet somebody’s ends, even if it means they have to wait, even if it means they’re not ready to stay rooted through my steps. Because that’s ok. I am not leaving, I chose to stay, I chose to stay since day one and it is my place to stay firm on that decision, because that’s ok :) choose to stay for yourself, because that light of you has had plenty leave as it is, the last thing you’d wanna do is be one of them

YOU DESERVE TO BE SPENT TIME WITH It’s important to realise that not every person out there has been set out to take advantage of you, we have our own past, we have our own lessons, but each and every individual out there, deserves to have the benefit of doubt for not necessarily having an ulterior motive against you. You are doing what you can out of your complete will, learn to slowly dissolve the thought where you think you don’t deserve to have anybody else’s company around you or you’re only worth spending time with because you’re their only way in and out of a loop.

Sure people NEED you, but that does not equate to them tossing you away once they’re done wrapping up. Because every time I think about it, it’s the same as somebody else shutting me out, with no regards to an explanation or having second thoughts about the way I’ve allowed myself to feel around them,about the way I’ve allowed myself to fully and completely love the deepest corners of their mind, body and heart. It felt bad to be given up on that easily. Refrain, reflect and then proceed :) you are healing, NOT shielding, there’s a difference. Let’s not blur the line <3

You don’t have to put on a shield at the onset of your day, but you do have to realise that you have a heart and it makes you feel, it helps you feel, and you’ll have to allow that. I repeat this is not a war, this is you living, treat yourself with care, rather than masking it under a tough exterior

Soft reminder that you have the liberty to choose the people you’ll invest your time and energy into, not the other way around, don’t let something that couldn’t have possibly governed you, have its restraints on you

If you have chosen to prioritise yourself over the commitment to an event or person then give yourself a Pat on the back because learning to say no is easier said than done, and if you’ve made it through that hurdle then you deserve nothing more than your own company to better suffice your conscience and give it the peace of mind it needs this very moment

I strongly believe that love can be found and channelled anywhere so long as that something/someone hasn’t decided to make you feel otherwise, almost as though you should regret loving.Love is heavy, lightweight, subjective, mobile and constantly keeping a check on you so you see glimpses of it around you, maybe hidden under the lines of the book you’re reading, maybe trapped under the warmth of your blanket, maybe with the company a stray cat gives you on the street while you’re on your way back home,maybe with the candy wrapper you found rummaging through your pocket while feeling the sweet aftertaste in your mouth, maybe with the way someone rests their hands on your shoulder, maybe with the way someone calls out your name, it’s there. It stays, so don’t you dare for a second think that it’s left your side

T shirt that says publicly crying isn’t a giveaway of your sensitivity or weakness. You are hurt, and you are hurting, you have every right to to feel your pain and acknowledge it regardless of the setting, understand what must be prioritised first instead of submitting to a pseudo authority and audience that keeps you from being able to hold yourself when and where needed. It pains me to say how I have come across so many people who’re strongly forced to believe that they must shield themselves by hiding something so beautiful. Save yourself the mental 4buse, take it one step at a time, feel free to let yourself out the way your body needs it to be

Maybe, just maybe we could try to build a wall that permits our growth and breathing than by disguising our safety under the impression of a wall that inconsistently foreshadows our own strings from being intertwined by another’s, you know it’s not wrong to love :) you never did anything wrong by loving

Today felt long, today felt heavy, today felt strong, I wasn’t quite ready, and I think it’s ok if all I wanted to do today was wrap myself in a blanket, because I deserve to have a soft whispy sigh kept the leaf I picked up from street on the side of my pillow today

Growth is constant. Always and forever, even when you feel like you’ve done nothing productive throughout your day, even when you feel like you’ve come to a stop, even when you feel like you haven’t moved past a point in what seems like ages, even when you feel like you aren’t over the loss of a figure, even when you feel like you can no longer feel yourself anymore. My precious reader, I hope you understand just how much courage it takes to come to terms with the mere fact of not having done anything today. Admitting it to yourself is far more than enough. You are breathing, growing and you are constantly giving every living second of your life. You are reciprocating emotions, you are finding a way through your thoughts to draw this very conclusion, you are processing so many different interactions through the span of the past few hours, yet being able to continue to communicate, Respect that.

I can’t help but adore the way people love and learn to love. Because it’s so much more than just having this heavy feeling weighing you down when it’s time for them to leave, it’s so much more than just intertwining your fingers together, its allowing yourself to feel the warmth of the sun tinting your cheeks with a blush you’re not too familiar with, but the familiarity of the warmth and it’s aftertaste is savouring, it makes you want to blanket your chest, it’s the way you accept and admit the fact that you’ve come to grow rather affectionate about something or someone in a way that fills your heart to the brim so much so you no longer have control over the direction of your emotions, it’s about unfolding your love and folding yourselves right back into a form where the two of you feel complete and enough to have so much space for what’s to come,

because watching somebody learning to love is lovely, it’s grounding and I’m so proud of you for finding it within yourself to love even when you had to go through what you did, even when those around you made you think you weren’t worthy of it, so to be able to cultivate that garden with others is truly admirable

To be embraced is to accept and to submit to your form that craves to be held and kept warm, submit to that version of you that requires your company to be whole, pull your arms around your chest and hold your hands to caress the fabric of your being rather than pulling it apart thread by thread

Handle yourself with the care and love that you yearn, you do not deserve to be beat up over an event that took a gruesome toll on you, putting up with that time was hard, dealing with the absence of so many figures was hard, having the constant fear of having nobody to reach out to was hard. And you have every right to accept that, it was completely alright to accept that you wanted to be held and loved even in a time where a version of you believed that you couldn’t. Say yes to being embraced

Always casually waiting sitting on those huge seats in the cinema hall swinging my feet back and forth feeling the butterflies in my stomach chipping away at the branches of my ribs to see the post credit scene where they pat you on the back and kith your eyelids and forehead and that sweet nose of yours because you did today, you did today :)