Things You Can Do Despite Your Sense Of Guilt

For all that your heart has seeped in through , for all that you have continued to give, for all that your being has continued to hold, for all that your skin has embraced, for every promise that you’ve thread onto for yourself, to see you on the other side, you made it :) I see you now and you still remain, every bit of you still remains, you made it to 2023. Happy new year <3

gentle growth is still growth, slow growth is still growth, fast growth is still growth, steady growth is still growth, messy growth is still growth. It’s as simple as that :), growth isn’t linear <3

When my friend said “I want to hold you, I want to know you, and I want to know where you’ve been” and Vashti Bunyan said “I want to walk around your mind someday, I’d like to walk all over the things you say to me, I’d like to run and jump on your solitude, I’d like to rearrange your attitude to me, you say you just want peace and you’d never hurt anyone, you see the end before the beginning has ever begun”

We don’t know and we’re not at an authority to know what tomorrow’s consequences would bear, and it’s completely 110% ok to accept that there’s someone out there willing to sit by our side and help us through the net, to weave a heart and perhaps even a warm sweater out of it, not something that traps us in the disguise of our solitude. It’s alright to admit you’d want to reach out to a hand that helps you see through the holes of a woven mess because claiming that one wants peace and doesn’t want to act violently against another gives away more than you’d intend for it to, especially when it goes further than just wanting to restore a sense of security and support externally, it speaks about the nature you’ve been sown to, and how you can very much grow out of it, creating peace outside can only come after one has created peace within themselves :) to come to a mutual consensus with your mind and heart, collectively working together to patch through and heal each other

They’re not stepping in on your privacy but simply stopping by your doorstep to find a spot for the two of you to sit together, leaving behind a trail of palm leaves so you can feel and see the glimpses of your growth and vulnerability, not as a weakness but as a medium to communicate with yourself <3

It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”

i think it’s wonderful the way people put themselves out there, be it their word or presence, in mind or in soul, they have my heart. We all come from our own sets of backgrounds sharing our own sets of personal experiences and I wonder who actually knows the kind of influences we have around us, to maybe keep things to ourselves or be able to lay it on the table, because it’s absolutely wonderful watching someone learning to grow past those experiences and choosing to take a step, I truly and deeply admire you for saying that and it must’ve been incredibly hard to go through those intrusive thoughts and getting till the end of the road, but I promise you I will be waiting, forever and more if it means that you’ll be taking steps to get there :) please continue doing what you do I love how we share our love and our thoughts, it’s so stupidly brave and passionate.

Maybe, just maybe we could try to build a wall that permits our growth and breathing than by disguising our safety under the impression of a wall that inconsistently foreshadows our own strings from being intertwined by another’s, you know it’s not wrong to love :) you never did anything wrong by loving

The door to the summer garden (2020)

Do they like rain?

Oooh myyy goood yesss: INFJ, INFP, INTP

Do you know how long it took me to look this good?!: ESFP, ESFJ, ENTJ

IT’S RAINING?! DROP EVERYTHING WE’RE GOING OUTSIDE: ESTP, ISTP, ENTP, ENFP

But… my shoes…: ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFJ, ISFP

Meh. *turns page*: INTJ, ESTJ