(quote is a pete wentz livejournal post)
"i am that gasp of breath on your deathbead (stale and panicked) but you're still dying for me. i got a list of things in my head that i miss about you. id love to write them but i dont want to give myself away to you this easily."
-- AA 2-4 SPECIFIC SPOILERS --
No because this is so Enrida. It is so Matt coded. Gasp of breath on your deathbed ???? So on the nose here but like Yeah It's Suffocation. But you're still dying for me ???? And the use of 'for' as a preposition is so interesting because you can take it in the way of "you're dying because of me" but also "you are dying and you're doing it for me. a last act of devotion, even though I don't fucking deserve it." and I think that is so cool.
Things in my head that I miss about you. Present tense. He misses Juan in the here and now. He knows he fucked up. He made the worst mistake of his life and Juan is dead and he can't change that, he can only continue missing him. But keeping it all inside his head is all he's allowed to do. Because he's got an image. He's got their carefully curated rivalry to uphold. He can't reveal it. I don't want to give myself away to you this easily.
electric touch is so enrida and I will be making an entire google doc analysis thank you very much
enrida fans go read my au fic it's fluff <3
Pairing: Matt Engarde/Juan Corrida
Rating: Teen And Up
Word Count: 5.3k
" Any time the passion for his career was brought into a conversation, Juan’s entire face would light up. Matt had known this expression of his for a while, damn near studied it during school rehearsals. “I wanna know everything about my favorite customer’s new piece.”
If there was any heat in Matt’s body, it would have rushed to his face upon hearing ‘favorite’ come out of Juan’s mouth. Sure, they were friends, and Matt was as much of a regular here as his paycheck allowed him to be, but ‘favorite’ felt just a bit too special for someone like himself. "
aka, it's raining it's pouring, and matt has no way home til juan (who he's kinda maybe definitely crushing on) offers him shelter for the night.
i think enrida/juangarde should be more popular but i also fear that their dynamic and characters will get bastardized and woobified so maybe I Am Content with only having like 5 people on this earth care about the boyfriends
Juan asks Matt to be his boyfriend as they're playing a couple rounds of Mario Kart and Matt of course says yes and is ecstatic but is also convinced that Juan chose Then to ask him because he wanted to sabotage Matt's game but in reality. No. Juan was just looking at Matt and how much he was enjoying himself and their little date night. Completely enamored. Couldn't hold the question back any longer.
Promoting my fucked up Matt Engarde character study nsfw fic— tw for drug abuse and mentions of/references to csa ; summary and link under the cut
!! 2-4 ace attorney spoilers !!
Pairing: Matt Engarde/Juan Corrida (kind of, there's some hallucinations happening)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 12.5k
It’s something wicked, it makes Matt’s blood burn with sharp pangs of guilt. He doesn’t deserve to think about those memories full of vitality when he’d set off the chain reaction that ended with Juan’s life being stripped away. But… Matt doesn’t like these thoughts, this guilt. Fuck, he’s living the rest of his days—hours, maybe?—as a ticking time bomb, he shouldn’t have to feel such contempt at himself. Matt takes some time with the pipe again, only stopping when his gut twists painfully. The feelings of guilt, his own personal gavel smashing down against his skull, barely subside.
Alternatively, the fic in which Matt receives a not guilty verdict and his guilt and addiction lead him down a drug trip where he hallucinates Juan, and he tries to keep his lover's memory alive by any means necessary. In other words, by doing the one thing he's been trained to do well.
juan corrida is the okokok to matt engarde's lalala
talking with bestie about whether matt or juan would propose and i have reasoning for both. Here It Is.
Juan: He's been engaged once before. Clearly that did not work out. Unrest in pieces, bitch, I hate you Inpax. He's determined to get it right this time, because he's with the right person this time. Matt has always been the man he was meant to be with. They will always find their way back to each other, and Juan wants to ensure that there's no way he could ever lose him again. He's also a hopeless romantic as we know and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he has a scrapbook laying around of different proposal ideas. He knows the shit that Matt has gone through, and probably not even the worst parts of it. That's a terrifying thought, and he wants to put as much of that pain in the past as he can. He wants to move forward with their lives, he wants to promise himself to Matt forever. He wants to promise Matt a soft forever, a delicate one, free of hurt and anguish. He's going to do it right.
Matt: Honestly, he needs a sense of control in his love life. So much of his relationships haven't had any of his input, and while of course Juan is nothing like that, the fear remains. Trauma does that to a guy. Again, fuck you Inpax. He likes the comfort and security of being agentic, making decisions. And he knows that Juan is the type to provide the grand romantic gestures instead of receiving them. Matt wants to change that. When his life went to shit, he lost control, he wasn't there for Juan, he couldn't provide comfort and love and care. He's back on the right track now. He can make up for lost time. He can get down on one knee and in spite of all his flaws, all his mistakes, the sins of his past that nearly cost his beloved his life, he can pledge to love this man forever. He already does. But Juan likes this cheesy shit (and Matt is learning to, though the process is slow). He wants to make Juan feel loved, he wants this proposal to be everything he's ever dreamed of. Everything he couldn't get the first time. It would be grandiose. Sentimental. Multifaceted. Intimate. A perfect whirlwind combination of what's in Juan's scrapbook and that charismatic clumsiness, maybe the heat of something A Little Too Personal, that is undeniably Matt Engarde.
okay yeah and these are my ramblings. enrida/juangarde i love you. The them. The sillies.
matt uses obnoxiously cheesy french pet names for juan and starts off doing so sarcastically but then he realizes that juan corrida, hopeless romantic he is, actually likes them.
anyway 2-4 never happened and they are in love.
// drug use mention
matt x juan is something so dear to me and my canon divergent mind i just think they love each other and it got fucked over when matt started getting into drugs and The Inpax Bullshit started but yeah in a better world where matt has rehab and therapy i just think him and juan would be so good. enrida/juangarde my beloved.
just. matt using dude/bro romantically but also having the cheesiest french pet names he uses for juan. the two of them back in a hotel room after an award show just slow dancing with the city skyline as their backdrop. matt being juan's muse for all the love songs he writes but juan will Never admit to this.
and i would like to imagine the rivalry they had is something they made up for shits and giggles (and publicity) and they are actually really good friends and just were taught that any press is good press so matt went "hey y'know what'd get 'em all talking???" and at age 12-13 brought this idea up to juan.
i will never shut up about enrida sorry.