Mugger: *points gun* Your money or your life
Julian: Sure thing
Julian: *hands him his ID* You got 5 siblings but you are more like a mom than an actual brother to them. Oh, and you're running a whole institute by yourself since you were 12.
Mugger: No, I mean-
Julian: *already grabbing Emma’s hand and running away* You’re late for Ty’s recital
Julian: In an emergency, a crayon will burn for 30 minutes.
Kit: How long do they burn if it’s not an emergency?
Ty: So as some of us know, Julian may appeal a little scary…
Kit: “A little”? That boy's a stone cold Slytherin
Mark: Oh shit, a cockroach!
Julian: Well, take off your shoe and kill it!
Mark: *takes shoe off and squashes it with his bare foot*
Julian: NO-
Julian: AND WHY THE FCK WOULD YOU DO THAT??!
Emma: I’m fine.
Julian: No, you’re not fine. How could you possibly be fine? You’ve been STABBED!
Emma: But I’ve been stabbed before, so it’s fine.
Julian: You don’t just develop an immunity to stab wounds!
Mark: Hi, I’ve stolen your identity and I’ve been living as you for a week.
Julian: …
Mark: [starts crying]
Julian: [hugging him] hey, it’s okay…
Mark: [loud sobbing] How do you even get up in the morning?
Julian: Shh, I know, I know. It’s gonna be okay.
Julian: It's really cold outside.
Kit: Just like my heart.
Julian: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.