I Want To Cut Because Seeing The Blood Run Is Like Being Able To Cry When I Can't, My Whole Soul Really

I'm in my bed with my freshly changed sheets, I left class early because they weren't doing anything interesting, I got drunk last night

Oh how I regret having drunk so much last night, I soiled my bed sheets and the floor with vomit, my body felt so numb, my body felt nothing my consciousness was wandering but I remained conscious, to the point where I remember starting to ramble out loud, It's funny because it's really the only time I felt like I said something something something but I don't remember that something. When I woke up in the morning I still felt so dizzy and sick, I just told my mom that I must have overeaten.

I'll never get drunk like that again, sleeping pills do the same job and in a less disastrous way.

I feel so promiscuous when a man touches me, no matter how it is, I feel dirty, I feel guilty and yet I can't help but crave physical contact, physical affection.

I never ever deserve to be happy by someone's side, I don't know why I never get it clear.

The only one I told what really happened was him, It was interesting because he seemed to barely care, which I kind of like, please hate me and try to get away from me.

the weather is getting cold and the earth begins to smell wet yayay

Tomorrow I have to return to being a functional human in society, I hope I don't bite anyone in the process.

ALSO I'M GOING TO HAVE A FULL SHOWER YAYAAYYYAY I haven't washed my hair in like a week- (quite valid for a person who barely has a functioning brain in my opinion)

I want to paint my nails black again, change my piercings, get my jewelry and outfit ready for tomorrow.

After that I draw all night and sleep less than two hours because tomorrow I will probably have to be awake since 4:30 a.m. to have time for everything.

I feel quite personal to me how I have finally started to settle down and getting comfy with my blog, fun fact, when I was a child I tried to have a diary style blog but after a week I totally forgot it existed lol.

Anyways, xoxo to internet people.

Not charismatic enough

Not smart enough

Not pretty enough

Not stable enough

Not good enough

Should I continue the list?

I envy everyone who has a reason to wake up tomorrow.

I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

Me when they start the sentence with "my" when they refer to me

YAAAAYYYAYAYAYYYIPPIEEE <33

Yume i think you are one of my favourite mutuals now

heart hurts ow ouch ouchie aw auch ouch ouch

how does it feel to be 100% right about everything

(in regards to tag game)

💕

AM I???? YAYYYYYY happhappyyv ^^

Me if I think about describing my type out loud.