I Like When People Like A Character So Way Too Much That It Transcends Even Self Shipping Or Kinning

I like the sum of numbers starting from 4, except those who wear 6

4, 8, 12, 20, 24, 28, 32, 40...

I really hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Why are you clipping my wings to be happy??? Please, I'm just asking for one, please, I just want to end it.

I keep rambling... And yes, I consider myself a yumeshipper, but I don't actually see my f/o in a totally romantic way.

Like yeah... cute cuddles, kisses hehehhehh :33

But that's as far as it goes, and I say kisses simply when I'm VERY delusional, I look at my f/o more like a fp if that makes sense, like, yes, I love and adore him more than anything, I would seek his attention and approval in almost everything but I really wouldn't mind if he saw me more as someone inferior to him or not exactly as a partner.

(I still get jealous when I know he's someone else's f/o or when someone ships him really hard with another character)

I think if I gaslight myself into deceiving myself that my husband is actually my real husband all my problems will disappear.

(or at least the loneliness ones)

In every interaction with someone I really like I can't help but express a possessive/stalker feeling

damn, I wish a was normal and not a fucking little creep craving for a meaningful relationship

The girls no longer surprise you with strange gestures like they used to.

I'm in my bed with my freshly changed sheets, I left class early because they weren't doing anything interesting, I got drunk last night

Oh how I regret having drunk so much last night, I soiled my bed sheets and the floor with vomit, my body felt so numb, my body felt nothing my consciousness was wandering but I remained conscious, to the point where I remember starting to ramble out loud, It's funny because it's really the only time I felt like I said something something something but I don't remember that something. When I woke up in the morning I still felt so dizzy and sick, I just told my mom that I must have overeaten.

I'll never get drunk like that again, sleeping pills do the same job and in a less disastrous way.

I feel so promiscuous when a man touches me, no matter how it is, I feel dirty, I feel guilty and yet I can't help but crave physical contact, physical affection.

I never ever deserve to be happy by someone's side, I don't know why I never get it clear.

The only one I told what really happened was him, It was interesting because he seemed to barely care, which I kind of like, please hate me and try to get away from me.

I feel so heartbroken, in fact I've felt heartbroken since August of last year and it's getting worse but I'm also getting used to the feeling.

Although, of course, getting used to it doesn't mean that it won't stop being agonizing to feel someone ripping my heart out with their bare hand.

I want to rip my heart out, I want to pierce it, I just want to get rid of it, get rid of me.

It's so hard to focus on things, I want to sleep so I don't think, I want to sleep so I don't feel, closing my eyes is the only way I can control all those annoying thoughts.