What If We Romantically Swapped Ssh Keys (>\\\

Honestly I’d be more inclined to play Stardew Valley if it was about a depressed cop trying to solve a murder whilst navigating the politics of a mass strike and the fallout of counter revolution

thinking of ways to remove humor from my life

don't shave against the grain. i have become bloody and sad. my face will be smooth for about 5 hours. the deity that created me is laughing. at my farce.

seeing this post immediately made me think of the time my mom was driving me home from school and randomly asked "do you want to get circumcised," to which i replied "no... what?" and she said ok and we never talked about it again

ngl for lot of my life i thought parents sitting their kids down and telling them how babies are made was just a thing they made up for comedies on tv so now im curious how common it actually is.

it is 2027, and you are having a conversation on discord. suddenly, everything gets far too quiet. the ground around you almost seems to shake somehow, and the lights in your room dim. "oh god," someone says, "a nitro user is typing". at that point, it begins. lights start to dance around your screen, flashing and strobing every which way, becoming increasingly brighter and more colorful over the course of the next few seconds. blaring, triumphant fanfare plays, more blaring and more triumphant than you thought your headphones able to handle. you try to peel them away, but some mysterious force keeps them attached to your head. suddenly, lasers appear -- not on your screen, but somehow coming out of your monitor itself ! they dance around wildly as the fanfare begins to morph into edm. you think you hear a crowd cheer outside of your window. fog begins to pool around you, as if coming from an invisible smoke machine. you begin to panic, you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you cannot keep your eyes away from the screen. a deep voice begins to sound from all around you. "ARE YOU READY," it says, "FOR A MESSAGE..." and with another pause for effect, it finishes, "FROM WEEDBRONY42 !!" and the crowd goes fucking insane. the beat drops and a surge of pleasure emanates through your body -- you feel violated somehow. and as the fog and lights gradually clear, the music reaches a climax, and the curtains are dramatically drawn, your eyes are finally allowed to focus on a message telling you to kill yourself for your opinions on undertale.

Did that thing where you cut a hole in the dick portion of some boxer briefs to make a fucked up sports bra. Felt kinda foolish but also a lil cute tho...