Seeing This Post Immediately Made Me Think Of The Time My Mom Was Driving Me Home From School And Randomly

it is 2027, and you are having a conversation on discord. suddenly, everything gets far too quiet. the ground around you almost seems to shake somehow, and the lights in your room dim. "oh god," someone says, "a nitro user is typing". at that point, it begins. lights start to dance around your screen, flashing and strobing every which way, becoming increasingly brighter and more colorful over the course of the next few seconds. blaring, triumphant fanfare plays, more blaring and more triumphant than you thought your headphones able to handle. you try to peel them away, but some mysterious force keeps them attached to your head. suddenly, lasers appear -- not on your screen, but somehow coming out of your monitor itself ! they dance around wildly as the fanfare begins to morph into edm. you think you hear a crowd cheer outside of your window. fog begins to pool around you, as if coming from an invisible smoke machine. you begin to panic, you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you cannot keep your eyes away from the screen. a deep voice begins to sound from all around you. "ARE YOU READY," it says, "FOR A MESSAGE..." and with another pause for effect, it finishes, "FROM WEEDBRONY42 !!" and the crowd goes fucking insane. the beat drops and a surge of pleasure emanates through your body -- you feel violated somehow. and as the fog and lights gradually clear, the music reaches a climax, and the curtains are dramatically drawn, your eyes are finally allowed to focus on a message telling you to kill yourself for your opinions on undertale.

they call it watersports bc when a girl holds her mouth open for ur stream despite how obviously gross she finds it you have to admire water sport she's being about it

(sagely) they’re called broad shoulders because broads have em

im gonna make statements. tired of all the clever people. sometimes you just need to be boring for a time. real ones know..

thinking of ways to remove humor from my life

Crashing your car only hurts if you have a heavy karmic debt

no. fucking application or website should be able to pop anything up in front of me or have a banner slide down and move everything on the screen when i am just trying to fucking navigate menus. literally not one time have either of these things happened and been useful or sold their side product or new feature or whatever at best it makes me clickt he wrong thing and makes me hate their service 15% more

desperately trying to crane my neck around 180° but i can't get there. she's laughing at me i'm so embarrassed...

sometimes when a youtuber runs out of ideas they'll do some shit like "I Got Tricked By My Friends Into Going Skydiving And It Was Crazy!!!!!" and like

isn't the point of skydiving getting to know a cute instructor and then getting harnessed to her chest and pushed out of the airplane together and noticing that she seems to really enjoy watching you flail around and panic, and then when she finally decides to activate the parachute you spend a few tender moments floating to the ground as she caresses you and tells you that you're so brave and adorable for her?

i feel like nobody understands these things like i do. mr beast should hire me.

Got some great photos of the lunar eclipse tonight using a telescope ^^

Bonus cryptid:

on the whole I would like to see more ppl embracing the positive power of patricide