Thinking Of Ways To Remove Humor From My Life

get it twisted, the only way for you to make friends is to get so good at something that everyone else becomes forced to keep you around. make them need you or you'll be thrown away.

brb putting myself in time out

Crashing your car only hurts if you have a heavy karmic debt

it is 2027, and you are having a conversation on discord. suddenly, everything gets far too quiet. the ground around you almost seems to shake somehow, and the lights in your room dim. "oh god," someone says, "a nitro user is typing". at that point, it begins. lights start to dance around your screen, flashing and strobing every which way, becoming increasingly brighter and more colorful over the course of the next few seconds. blaring, triumphant fanfare plays, more blaring and more triumphant than you thought your headphones able to handle. you try to peel them away, but some mysterious force keeps them attached to your head. suddenly, lasers appear -- not on your screen, but somehow coming out of your monitor itself ! they dance around wildly as the fanfare begins to morph into edm. you think you hear a crowd cheer outside of your window. fog begins to pool around you, as if coming from an invisible smoke machine. you begin to panic, you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you cannot keep your eyes away from the screen. a deep voice begins to sound from all around you. "ARE YOU READY," it says, "FOR A MESSAGE..." and with another pause for effect, it finishes, "FROM WEEDBRONY42 !!" and the crowd goes fucking insane. the beat drops and a surge of pleasure emanates through your body -- you feel violated somehow. and as the fog and lights gradually clear, the music reaches a climax, and the curtains are dramatically drawn, your eyes are finally allowed to focus on a message telling you to kill yourself for your opinions on undertale.

desperately trying to crane my neck around 180° but i can't get there. she's laughing at me i'm so embarrassed...

sometimes when a youtuber runs out of ideas they'll do some shit like "I Got Tricked By My Friends Into Going Skydiving And It Was Crazy!!!!!" and like

isn't the point of skydiving getting to know a cute instructor and then getting harnessed to her chest and pushed out of the airplane together and noticing that she seems to really enjoy watching you flail around and panic, and then when she finally decides to activate the parachute you spend a few tender moments floating to the ground as she caresses you and tells you that you're so brave and adorable for her?

i feel like nobody understands these things like i do. mr beast should hire me.

i dont give a SHIT about FUCK. i'll put you in a goddamn box you ugly some of a bitch. tenderly nibble the weird skin i got where my nuts used to be. clean my house and detail my car you WORM #yearofdaSNAKE

i went to the dentist and i made sure not to swallow a single time while the lady was working in my mouth, in hopes that it would let her know about my gag reflex. just In Case

My fave genre of images