I Am So Thirsty Someone Get Me A Refreshing Glass Of Ice Cold Sparkling Piss

all i do is yap i’m a professional

pov ur dating ur best friend and they mean the fucking world to u and u don’t know how to tell them so u just repeatedly say “i love u” and hope they get the message

i hate you for making me feel again

*smothers u in marinara sauce and licks it up*

smthg abt nick just makes me so happy he is very caring and good at listening and makes me feel like i am important even if he doesn’t really try to. talked to him last night abt stuff that was bothering me and then just held me until i slept for the first time in like. several days. and even if he didn’t know who ande was he still recognized something was off and tried to talk to her. also also bro is like 18-19 do not know how to feel abt that but he talks very uhhhhhh. mature ???? idk the word for it but he acts around my age. idk if i am making it up bc of bpd stuff but i feel mildly special to him? like i knew who he was before even he told me but then he also told me first so like idk. and cuddles. and he petted my hair. and he let me be stupid and emotional over dumb stuff and did not judge me. and he did not freak out when he said i liked him a little teeny tiny bit. idk i just feel happy around him.

have decided this account is gonna be for not only shit posts but also Private Romance Things™️ i cannot post in front of actual people

me staring at the “please don’t take anything” text knowing i already took something

my roommates are fighting.

they’re engaged. i love them both very much but they’re both very different when they’re upset. it’s never as triggering as i expect it to be. maybe something in me is still too broken to fix.

i’ve kind of become their couples therapist. i’m usually unneeded but i’m good at looking at situations from the outside.

i do catch myself wondering if this would’ve been us. i hope not. it gets pretty heated. it’s not a bad relationship, they just clash when it comes to the communication of different agreements. i know they love each other.

i loved you even when we fought.

this feeling is fucking eating me alive. i miss you. i feel awful about it. i love cole more than anything but idk what to do abt you. you’re just so. idk. you asked me why i liked you and if that would change if you were someone else. the answer is no. i wish there were a way i could have you both but even that seems off. i keep bringing you up or tweeting or making jokes and i can tell it’s getting to him. i don’t want that. idk why i’m like this. i’m a mess.

i heard about your mom. i know she wasn’t good at being your mother but it’s okay to grieve over the loss all the same. it’s also okay to not feel anything at all. people cope in different ways.

i’m still working on my music. it’s been three days now. i have three instrumentals done and i have the album list hammered out. there’s really only one song on there about you. maybe two if you squint hard enough. i’m glad none of them are negative towards you.

i attempted to drink last night and am pleased to say alcohol still repulses me. it did give me some new ideas to map out though.

i wonder what you’re up to?