Theemeraldwings - Demigod Femboy Vampire Supersoldiers With Jet Packs

I feel like Death Guard would be the type to cuddle a lot, given Nurgle's temperament. I'm fairly sure I heard something about how certain more durable suits of terminator armor are especially coveted because they allow the marines to cuddle the beasts of Nurgle for longer.

Um hi! Hope you're doing well. I love your stories of astartes cuddle piles. I saw in your bio that requests were open. Would it be possible to see more chaos space marines cuddling? I find the idea so contradictory and it's fascinating. Hope you have a good day!

Space Marine Cuddle Pile - Part 5: CSM Edition

Previous - Writing Master post

Cultists wondering why a section of the walkway is void of anyone and no one will walk through it. They barely take one step in and are met with hissing. They immediately leave to find another path. Hidden in a small recess, like sardines in a can or a clown car, man Nightlords are crammed together. Nestled into each other's embraces, gentle touches, no talking. They only need each other and their company.

The only two World Eaters in a warband have walked past each other at least three times now. They just growl and nod at each other. On the fourth time, they lunge at one another as if to attack. They don't as they embrace each other and crouch on the ground. Fuming and patting each other's backs. It's doing what it needs to.

A group of word bearers cuddle pile is like a stereotypical sleepover. Talking about what daemon they'd like to possess them. Squealing over heretical scripture they've written for their primarch or one of the ruinous powers. Mapping out new tattoos of sermons on each other's skin. Face masks to prevent their tattoos from being destroyed. The blood of sacrifices painted on toenails to help with rituals. Having a seance or games of contacting the dead. Don't forget the pillow fights.

Black legion marines are angry at a pitiful defeat. They should have been better. They lost so many supplies. They only managed to pick up a random and very cold iron warrior they didn't like much. He didn't like them either, and that was fine. They start somewhat of a pile, but it doesn't feel like it should. It's not very comforting. Suddenly, the Iron Warrior is there. He says nothing as he climbs into the pile and holds marines smaller than him. A calm grows over them..

Deathguard cuddle piles are hard to spot. Is it a regular pile of nurglings? Or is there a space marine cuddle pile hiding underneath? Grandfather Nurgle loves this new aspect the marines have brought. What better way to share his gifts than being close to those you love? He holds Mortarion like a baby when he's upset.

A Drukhari is screaming to be released from this vile torture and that these mon keigh are ruthless, horrid, and crazed. This is the most cruel and terrible thing yet. The Emperor's Children just purr, content. They will not let him out of the cuddle pile. He's like a fleshy sock monkey, and he was cold!

Thousand Son sorcerers grabbing those affected by the rubric for a cuddle pile. Once in them, their affected breatheren go limp like a ragdoll or stiff like a doll. There's still a bond within those shells of armor. Most thousand sons will also not admit to still sleeping with a stuffy or toy at night. After nearly ten milennia, they have become tattered or broken. A battle brother will do instead.

You may think that now it's time for the Alpha Legion cuddle pile. You already got it. There's been at least one in each pile thus far. Yes, it was Alpharius.

I like this perspective on what a dream job is. I'd probably still do what I want to do now: find new, improved ways of blowing up massive amounts of explosives in a vaguely controlled manner with people on top of them.

The people who say shit like "I don't dream about labour" when asked about their dream job make me sad. It's not their fault and it's an obvious conclusion to come to in the environment that we live in, but they really do seem to make no difference between work, and being exploited. You do want to work, it is inherent human nature to want to do things, you just don't want to slave for shit wages while making profit for someone else.

If art wasn't an option and I didn't have to worry about being profitable, I know what I would be doing: Keep a little shop selling secondhand-thirdhand buttons and buckles.

Thrift shops and secondhand stores could dump (or sell, whatever) their unsold and unwanted goods to me, and I could spend all day going through the heaps and picking them apart, plucking the still-perfectly-good buttons, zippers and buckles out of discarded things with threadbare fabrics and sell them.

Probably also making those little trinket storage boxes out of hollowed-out books. By hollowing out books that nobody wanted or read.

Fulgrim's fall wasn't from the Imperium to Chaos.

It was from "It is your duty to raise them up, as high as they will go. Anything less is not worthy of you" to "What we have won is already being given away to imperfect mortals who will waste the glories we won for them".

Nukes aren't Dark Age tech, anyone with a decent enough understanding of physics and uranium (or plutonium) could make one.

One amusing constant inconsistency in Warhammer literature is this.

The nuke.

From the dark age if tech, the blast radius of a nuke varies from authour to authour.

I have seen them damn a world to nuclear winter.

I have seen just one level a hive city.

I have also seen just one gut an Imperial fleet.

No one can figure out how powerful of they are....

Also, for a bit of dark age tech that no one can replicate.... There is a lot of nukes out there, like a lot, I thought dark age tech was meant to be insanely rare?

I follow the Astartes Anonymous theory for Perturabo: what do you *think* he made the Iron Circle for if not to be his supporting environment when he wants to be soft?

Which primarch dolly would be best at taking cock? And I don’t mean fake crying from pleasure like some sex dolls have, but which butthole would be the most slick and accadanting to it’s grith and size? Or: You think like with how imperial fists are all about enduring pain, would Dorn be that type of guy to pretend sexualy as a statue while partner electroduces them and call him his huge brave little dolly?

Hmmmm, very good questions all around. First of all, I must say; I don’t think EVERY primarch would be a doll. Some of them would be dollmakers, and some of them would have no interest in dollification whatsoever.

IMO the list is as follows:

Lion: Doll, only for Sanguinius, reluctant at first but then feels how lovely it is to have his angel fuss over tying his hair back with a ribbon and call him a beautiful doll. Then he’s smitten with the concept. Gets dressed in fancy Caliban court attire and imperial dress uniform, because he’s a little figurine of a knight. Doesn’t get penetrated, but Sanguinius will jack or suck him off at the end of doll time if he behaves.

2: turns out they were a recast knockoff :/

Fulgrim: Doll OR Dollmaker. Partial to the ball jointed doll, EGL kind of look; fluffy petticoats and lace and ruffles abound, big sweet eyes, pink cheeks and lips. Will be a dollmaker for anyone curious, just to help them try it out, and is secretly holding out hope that Konrad will agree to it one day; he has such perfect pale skin, and big dark eyes, and long dark hair, he’d be the perfect doll. Fulgrim gets penetrated by his own dollmaker, easily and eagerly - his cunt is soaked by the time he’s fully dressed, he enjoys it so much, and from there it’s just a matter of pushing his petticoats up.

Perturabo: Neither, but not for lack of trying. He gets too impatient and uncomfortable to be a doll and too frustrated being a dollmaker. He’s asked Fulgrim a few times if he can have a go at him while he’s still in doll headspace though.

Jaghatai: skip I don’t know enough about him

Leman Russ: this guy’s into prey/pred and puppy play, not dolls

Dorn: Yeah kind of exactly what you said, honestly

Konrad: HE WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD DOLL I KNOW HE WOULD. Unfortunately. The everything else about him. Keep asking, Fulgrim, you’ll get him one day. Wouldn’t like penetration, but would like grinding with another doll while their maker watches.

Sanguinius: Dollmaker!! More of a masculine focus with his dolls, dressing them up like decorated generals in parade uniform or fairytale princes. Pretty enough to be a doll himself, but it feels too much like worship to him, and he doesn’t like being worshipped

Ferrus: Another dollmaker! For Fulgrim this time. He doesn’t like an awful lot of frill and decadence in his own life, but when it comes to making sure the ruffles and petticoats sit perfectly on his doll? He’ll be laser-focused on lace. Adores putting on the finishing touches; hair ornaments, jewelry, gently sliding and buckling shoes on. Having Fulgrim so malleable in his grasp just makes him bend his dolly over and fuck him full as soon as he’s dressed.

11: concept for a playline fashion doll that never got past prototyping :(

Angron: DO NOT

Roboute: Another smart-suited fairytale prince doll for Sanguinius! Doesn’t get penetrated, but adores giving oral - tell him he’s even prettier on his knees and he’ll whine

Mortarion: Stinky. Do not attempt

Magnus: He’ll try anything once! Prefers the clothing worn by the wealthy on Prospero for dolls - light, gauzy linen skirts dyed beautiful colours, jewelry dripping with precious metals and semi-precious stones, intricate sandals, maybe even a beaded net over the hair. It’s about the process, to him, not fitting the criteria of what a doll ‘should’ look like. Prefers to penetrate, regardless of if he’s doll or maker

Horus: Simply does not ‘get it’. Likes kinky sex! Just doesn’t click with this kind

Lorgar: Nah. Religion kink, maybe virginity kink, but not dollification

Vulkan: I don’t think he’d be a dollmaker, but he does strike me as the sort to want to play with a doll. Maybe he can work out an arrangement with one of the makers

Corvus: Dolly in denial. Get Corvus a pretty little gothic lolita dress and a black petticoat and cute little mary-jane style shoes and that’s it. The point of no return. Corvus would also be such a beautiful doll, with the pale skin and dark eyes and hair.

Alpharius(? Omegon??): Who. Fucking knows

The glove has spoken.

Who did this? XD

The reboot gives him the ability to survive in hard vacuum, so no, you are not wrong.

The legend, the moment, the babygirl of all time (*/ω＼*)

Warhammer has a very big issue with how it focuses on Space Marines and Space Marine-adjacent things (like primarchs).

Hot take:

The Primarchs are the least interesting characters in 30/40k. ppl centering them in the story as if most of them matter in the current setting vex me. 40k desperately needs good characters that aren't just "huge buff man". idk. maybe it's part of my horrible man-hating dyke agenda of decentering men from things I enjoy, but like... they're just a bunch of huge men who are Blessed God-Sons of the Fascist Guy. there's plenty of more interesting and obscure characters. Primarchs are just so basic

Gee, ya think?

What next? Maybe you shouldn't have had directors directly working to undo what the director for the previous movie did?

He is one of many characters that gets reduced to a joke in meme lore.

Hell, I'm not even sure if this one is entirely TTS's fault, too. He's pretty menacing there if you think about it for a nonzero amount of time.

Lucius is no girlfail at all

I have reposted the girlfail-post, because it's fun and I got a laugh out of it, but my more earnest opinion is: Lucius is incredibly successful.

Some of his accomplishments without any claim to completeness:

Beating the Mournival in consecutive duels (Loken cheated by Emperor's Children-standards, so fuck him)

He's made Captain in a perfectionist Legion of Aristocrats, despite hailing from gladiatorial pits.

He made Palatine Blade - elite of the elite

He organized a coup against Fulgrim, because he wanted the demon out and survived (by staying mostly out of it, but that shows that he has a brain indeed)

He impressed Slaanesh enough to become his Champion.

He impressed Fulgrim enough the Primarch strongarmed Fabius into reviving Lucius.

He impressed Ahriman enough the Chief Librarian kept him as bodyguard/killer (and didn't betray him - a rare occurance with Ahriman).

He isn't the most social guy, yet he became leader of a rather successful warband.

He killed a Bloodthirster (with the help of his Raptors, but still!)

40k Fulgrim uses him as his personal hitman.

He had fun fighting and killing in Commorragh (he got asked to leave).

And that's just from the top of my head. Lucius is one of the most successful, ruthless Chaos Marines still in existence.