Nd Culture Is Feeling Like Everyone Hates You And Not Understanding Why

bpd culture is saying shit like “i’m starting to realize they made me worse” everytime one of your fps left you and then realizing that up to 80% of bpd symptoms go away when not in a relationship so yes, they did make me worse, but it isn’t any fault of their own. they were literally always destined to make me worse.

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questioning bpd culture is going from feeling borderline suicidal due to the amount of anxiety and self-loathing you're experiencing to being completely fine the next day

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bpd culture is blaming yourself for them leaving, then blaming them, then hating yourself for blaming them because they still mean so much to you, then repeating that cycle all while knowing you'll never having a clear enough head or good enough memory to tell if you were the one being wronged or not

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i got a b in personality disorders??? did i not study enough?

Can you explain more about delusions and npd? I don't remember if you've talked about it before

Of course! NPD is actually primarily definable by the delusions commonly associated with the disorder. These are commonly described in general as 'delusions of grandeur'' but there’s a lot more to them than that. 

In general, there are several different variants of delusions, including but not necessarily limited to: Erotomanic, grandiose, bizarre grandiose, jealous/infidelity, persecutory, referential, negation/nihilistic, and somatic. 

Within NPD, as far as I know, the most common types are erotomanic, (bizarre) grandiose, persecutory, and negation/nihilistic can also show up mixing with grandiose. I suspect somatic could also show up based on what I know about the disorder, but I don't see it commonly spoken about.

Specifics about what each type of delusion means under the cut!

Erotomanic - Delusions regarding someone being in love with them. According to most sources, erotomanic delusions are commonly targeted toward a person of great importance or fame. This type of delusion can often involve reading into the world as giving one 'signs', things like thinking certain gestures are a beckoning or things such as that. May have overlap with grandiose ("Everyone in the world is in love with me").

Grandiose - Delusions regarding being special or having extraordinary talents ("I know how to do everything", "If I were to try to do that I would do it perfectly", "If I were in a position of power the world would be fixed"). These are most the delusions most commonly associated with NPD or ASPD.

   Bizarre Grandiose - These are a subtype of grandiose. These often focus around spiritual or religious beliefs ("I am God", "God chose me") but can also focus upon supernatural ability ("I have powers nobody else has"). Again, these are most commonly associated with NPD and ASPD.

Jealous/Infidelity - Delusions regarding the loyalty of those around you/that you may just be being lead along by those in your life, also commonly associated with fear of incoming abandonment, and they must be for little to no reason ("My partner is cheating on me", "My best friend doesn’t actually like me", "I saw my partner with someone, they’re going to leave me"). Commonly seen in disorders like BPD or PPD. 

Persecutory - Delusions regarding people in the world intending on harming you ("I'm being watched", "People are tracking me"). Most commonly associated with psychotic disorders or PPD. Can show up in NPD by mixing with grandiose ("People want to hurt me because I’m special").

Referential/Delusions of Reference - Delusions regarding ordinary, everyday experiences having hidden meanings ("I believe this song has a message specifically for me", "the clouds are telling me something"). Most commonly associated with schizo-spec disorders.

Negation/Nihilistic - Delusions rendering life/the world meaningless ("No matter what I try, I cannot affect the world", "nothing is real"). Delusions suffered in this type typically fall under the realm of Cotard’s delusion (delusions regarding being nonexistent or dead). Can have commonalities with bizarre grandiose ("I'm the only person in the world", "Nobody is real except me"). 

Somatic - Delusions that someone suffers from a disorder or medical issue. Associated with hypochondria. 

Unspecific - Delusions not fitting into any particular category. 

Mixed - Showing delusions of two or more different types. 

Hope this helps!

tw sh mentions

i wish this anger would go somewhere else that isnt just myself or God forbid my fps im so angry im so constantly frustrated i hate i hate i hate and its so so so stupid i just want to Maul somnething and rip and tear it until its just cotton but i cant and i dont want that hate to be directed towards people i love even if my thoughts make me want to Yell Yell Yell so its just me im my own therapist i scream at myself i hate myself i want to bang m y head until it beleeds until i calm down and it just happens AgaiN AND AGAINand im so.

tired.

and none of the people i love will ever know, because it doesnt matter in the end, does it.

-🐊 (is it ok if you also tagged the previous post about finding out your fp has a partner with 🐊 ? i forgot to tag it in the moment)

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“are you mad at me?” “do you still like me?” “are you sure you’re not mad at me?”

Okay so are we gonna take this to the bedroom or should I fuck the sense and reassurance back into you right here?

BPD culture is crying your eyes out at 1am because you can't understand why it feels like everyone around you hates you or why you feel like a terrible person even though everyone around you says you aren't.

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