ASMR Rant Pt. 7: Thoughts After Binging Words By Parker

Chapter 5: that transformation did not sound pleasant... please be ok, Fletcherrrrr... ALSKDJFLSDKFJ

Fletcher my precious boi I love you so much 😭

HOLD UP WILL THE SALVE WORK- long story, Fletch, ya see, I was busy crushing on another red flag-

Fletch, you're injured let's not start a fight- leave my blindness out of this, Claw-

(Claw sounds like Captain Barbossa from POTC and I LOVE IT-)

*grabs headphones and crochet project*

Episode 2: My guy loves pie, respect...

Yayyyyyy, I get to meet the kid!!!!

He's👏🏾such👏🏾a👏🏾geek👏🏾

Ok we were on the same train of thought with the peach cobbler ngl-

Wait he has a prosthetic! Interestinggggggggggggg

What's going on. Who's here-

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND GET DOWN YOU IDIOT-

Well, this is how we lose our chances with him...

*two hours later* I was helping make soup where was I-

Jeez- Ok I'm cooler than I thought- JEEZ-

WE ARE SO TRAUMATIZING THIS MAN-

Gosh darn itttttttttttttttttttt... can Rose get me out?

Oh I'm screwed, huh. Ooh but Williams sounds kinda fine...

Wait... dang it, am I gonna have to relocate? Ugh I need to talk to Ivan...

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Ivan... YAY HE HUGGED US- WOO-

Yeah hun there's a lot that you should know- nooooooooooo I was not a desk clerk......... mmmmmmmmmm no I don't think I'll be safe- aw- PLEASE SAY I GET TO MARRY IVAN-

OH MY GOSH THE KID'S HERE- yep there goes my heart.

Oh this is gonna be awkward... hi ma'am...

DANG IT I LIKE IVAN THO- yes it's probably a good idea so he's safe but AUGH

No no I completely get it ma'am, honest, it's really bad-

Raven: *deadpan face*

Me irl: *furiously nodding, agreeing with everything Michelle is saying*

HOLD UP, WE ARE NOT FANTASIZING RIGHT- OR IS IT A DREAM- it's a dream YEP IT'S A DREAM- oh the TRAUMA in this series

Ok we're leaving, this is gonna suck but it's for the best.

Ivan please don't make this harder- dammit- PLEASE IVAN I LIKE YOU TOO MAN COME ON-

K we're gonna meet back up again or I will riot.

No I'm not okayyyyyyyyy... in more ways than one, I messed up my project.

FRICK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE STAYING WOOOOOOOOOOOO

OPEN UP IVAN- YES IT WAS FOR YOU

*screeching internally, kicking feet, throwing squishmallow against the wall* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Episode 3:

These doggone pagers man...

Hey, ngl, it'd be funny if Harrison tried to take us out.

Maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- why'd you say it in that tone tho-

GREAT NEWS I'VE FIXED THE PROJECT- aagh I love him so much-

What does Luke want... he sounds nervous?... oh great what happened.

NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BRO, ANYTIME THEY WANNA MEET SOMEONE IN PERSON IT'S BAD COME ON. WHAT NOW.

I take back my earlier statement, this man is NOT red flag-simping material.

We are NOT bringing Ivan. WE ARE NOT BRINGING IVAN.

RAVEN, GIRL, I KNOW I'M TECHNICALLY YOU, BUT I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS.

Can we please listen to Ivan- I don't like this situation- this frick is gonna double-cross us-

(I feel like Michelle had the better lawyer in the divorce lol-)

There's that freaking crow again. YEP. HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO.

Too bad we don't have regenerative powers like a certain someone hahahahaaaaaaa *piercing sobs*

FIGHTTTTTTT

DANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG NOT THE HELMET-

OMGGGGGGGGGGG. OH THIS IS BRUTAL.

Ivan don't scare me like that again.

I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW HE WAS A SLEAZEBALL-

HI CROW, I TRIED TO TELL HER- STOP PLAYING OUR SONG.

Wench, I know you did not threaten Paloma-

GET HIM IVAN- YES BAEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

K now we just gotta fix the bleeding out problem over here... no. ESCAPED NO. TELL ME SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

I SWEAR IF SHE DOESN'T MAKE IT-

TELL ME SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT-

OH THANK GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THANK YOU BABY JESUS AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Listen, I was about to cry and I would've had to throw hands. HI IVANNNNNNNNNNNN

*pounds fist against table* We must protecc the child she is too precious-

Awwwwwwww ok happy tears happy tears this time yayyyyyyyyyyyy

THAT ENDING WAS SO GOOD OMGGGGGGGGGGG OK I LOVED THIS ONE TOO, THE NEON SERIES WAS GREAT

*sits down with lunch* "It has been a long time since you have seen me, has it not?" *angrily muttering into bowl*

Episode 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's about me...

Oh frick, am I in therapy- I'M IN THERAPY WOO

K question, will I be taking care of Baby Vengeance in here?

Yeah that checks out, I'd probably feel better about this if I'd died in his stead.

What kinda dream is this???

"Strangers to lovers", who the heck is the stranger gonna be... this is gonna be tough.

CROW OR RAVEN CAWING????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SONG-

no i'm not gonna cry i refuse to cry over this.

Ok wait wait I don't wanna space out while I'm driving, WAKE UP- oh damn ok I'm sorry ma'am, just my traumatic flashback speaking-

Aaaaaaaand there's our stranger... AH KITTY BUBBA!!!

Oh he's a father... and a nerd, let's go- OH HE'S A SINGLE DAD, GREAT-

Omg he's such a nerd aughhhhhhhhhhh 🙌🏾

Oh there goes my heart, here we freaking go.

"I hope it wasn't awkward standing there while I was talking on the phone-"

me: *actually wheezes*

my brother: "what's so funny-"

"NOTHING-"

I don't like how cute I'm finding him. This is not good.

HELPPPPPPPPPPPP HE'S REALLY CUTE AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

Aw man, put the telenovela back on!

I did not make a pie for this man... oh my God I am so dead. Oh I'm gonna be wrecked.

*pauses the video* *walks away from laptop* "WHY AM I SMILING SO HARD OVER THIS GUY NO-"

And there's the crow... frick this is what our dream is about huh

OMG IT IS, THIS IS WHAT THE DREAM IS ABOUT- OH FRICK.

Ok so this crow dropped Ivan's birdfeeder into our backyard, therefore it's the spirit of Crow trying to hook us up with someone- I KNEW IT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(yeah I know this stuff is probably obvious to everyone, biochem wrecked my brain process ok)

YEAH HE'S REALLY CUTE, CROW, HELP ME-

Oop- no no, finish that statement sir >:3

NOT THE SOUNDTRACK HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Please let this be a movie someday, I have so many favorite series that I need to be a movie/TV series...

*spawns* *snatches*

FOOD-

kinda quickly thrown together

tried not to have too many spoilers so some things are vague, but the fun with these is that if you know you know

Chapter 7

So here's the funny thing about getting into something like this (especially when it's me)-

Clearly I get attached to it almost instantaneously and devour it in one sitting which leads me to look up and realize THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS-

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WE GET WEAPONS- FLETCHY WITH THE AX AGAIN WOOOOO

Wait I don't get a sword- gosh darn it...

brain: you're blind idiot

me: yes but HoWeVeR-

(please let lily and simon make up, i think she can fix him)

Oh trust and believe, I want to keep Simon alive too- no dw Fletcher I still love you I promise, I'm just saying-

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiing Lily, gosh I love siren characters....

I👏🏾love👏🏾you👏🏾Fletcher👏🏾

Omg wait, the crew probably thinks we're dead, oh geez-

HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BYRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, HIIIII CAPPPPPPPPPP, WE'RE ALIVE

Ok all right, we don't need to comment on the eyes, moving on, I'm fine...

K LISTEN CLAW IS OK, HE'S CHILL, WE HOMIES-

Yessir, motivational speech time

"Never see your home again" welp that's mildly depressing, ah well

FRICK YEAH I'M STAYING WITH YOU BAEEEEEEEE, LET'S GO SAIL TOGETHER, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

AUGH HE'S SO CUTE OMG OMG OMG

Istg my POTC fangirl self is squealing I love thissssssssssssssssss

SOUNDTRACK. LET'S GO.

BATTLE SCENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

NO THEY HIT THE MAST COME ON

DANG IT I'M ALREADY BLIND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAFEN ME TOO-

oh geez-

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FRICK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT, ok i'm sorry i'm calm i'm calm i'm chill-

(oh my GOD, he sounded great ok we're chill-)

FRICKIN ELSA POWERS NOW LET'S GO, THANKS SAKU

I need to draw frickkkkkkkkkkkk aughhhhhhhhh

F I G H T T T T T T T

............ bish what'd you call me- *is actively rewinding* WENCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SLAY BYRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Omg Simon please, just chill the heck out

GET HIM FLETCHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

CAN THIS PLEASE BE MADE INTO A MOVIE ONE DAY- Fletcher do not die i promise you if you die-

DID Y'ALL FALL OVERBOARD-

SIMON SHUT UP-

... ok we good- gosh darn it Simon, no... see this is why I like the bad guys *augh*... Simon shut up, you're coming with us- YEAH LILY! Come get your man

*omg they are so cute and i love them so much omgggggggggggggggg*

*i'm gonna cry*

*NO I'M GONNA CRY FR OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG*

PLEASE Y'ALL I NEED YOU TO BE TOGETHER, THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE SHIP

Augh, Fletcher 😭🥺

SIMON YOU BE WITH LILY THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU DANG IT. AND STOP IT WITH THE "I'M NOBODY" GOSH

*grabs headphones and crochet project*

IT'S THE SAME ENTITY I'M TELLING YOU- *she yowls before she's shoved into a carrier and taken to the pound*

*is currently toasting a marshmallow over the burnt remains of the kitchen* Ah yes.. cooking-

ASMR Rant pt. 6: Thoughts after binging Jessie Love ASMR

First ~ Previous ~ Next

*flops down on couch* Yeah, sane Nyx is probably gone by this time, so we're stuck with slightly-feral Nyx, wooooooo-

Edit: [slightly-feral Nyx then fell unconscious five minutes later so we have sane Nyx again]

Jessie Love ASMR: BADDIE ALERT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH-

Mental state: I just passed out, it's very late-

Favorite series: The Hunter and The Vampire, Among US, The Hunter's Organization

Series I thought I'd dislike but ended up loving: Among US

Random thoughts:

NOT a live reaction... busy day yesterday, so I just had Jessie's series playing in the background as a snack 0w0

Searching for the Impostor: "EVIL LISTENER, EVIL LISTENER WOOOOOOO-" Caught by the Impostor: "... OKAY I TAKE IT BACK, THIS IS SCARY-"

I love it when people play around with a silly little game when making their stories- it makes you realize "Oh! Oh, the entire premise is actually creepy af-"

Loved the monologue both when she got caught and when she was changing form after Listener got caught, very tense moment.

I've also realized that I could never have a werewolf partner, I would probably insult so many of them- *giant, intimidating wolf mythic that just shifted in front of me* *me with no survival instincts whatsoever*: "It's a murder bubbas, hai pubbyyyyyy! :D You want chest scritches???"

Also I now need to take Artemis and Alyssa to therapy (why is Alyssa just like me, come on now-)

BRIDGETTE MY GIRL I LOVE HER- I thought she was cool when she showed up in the Raban collab but AAAAA SHE WAS OUR MENTOR- and maker, I did not expect Listener to be turned. "They're probably fine, they just gotta take a few deep breaths-" "You need to drink this-" "Ohhhh, this isn't good-" (What do you meannnnnnnn she was humming "It's Been So Long aaaaaaaaaaaa-)

COULD NOT BELIEVE WHEN I SAW A "SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK" READING, I LOVEDDDDDDDDDDD THAT SERIES-

*picks up Andrew and Dawn* *places them next to Alpha/Livana and Goblin/Goblin Girlfriend on the "Ships I would die for" shelf*

THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE AND I LOVE THEM OMGGGGGG- I LOVE collabs like this they make me so freaking happy-

Although Andrew did lose a point when he started judging Mariokart, my good sir, how freaking dare you (I miss it so much, wish I still had my Wii 😭)

Acting from everyone in that series was amazing too, everyone killed it.

Mythic queennnnnnnnn, kyaaa this was a good run-

Episode 2.5: "HE'S MY FREAKING CHILD, MY POOR TRAUMATIZED LITTLE ANGEL NOOOOOOOOOOOO-" *is listening in abject horror to the completely innocent description-*

Welp it's gotten to that point in the lore-

I'm scared

I didn't realize there are 17 videos, hoo boy-

I am indeed rather uneasy about this whole affair, ESPECIALLY after Alpha Claw-

Did I mention I'm scared-

EDIT: WHERE DOES THE REDDENING TAKE PLACE IN THE TIMELINE-

If anyone touches the boi, it's on SIGHT.

Art not mine, from the Bunkshelf Wiki, which is super cool- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A MITCH I CAN PET-

STACY-?!?!?!

... JUST- STACY????

QUEEN???

BUT ALSO JEAN- BABY- THIS AIN'T GONNA END WELL FOR YOU, HUN-

OMG SHE'S AMAZING-

I can't even be jealous, she's a freaking icon-

Ok, the way I was laughing, gasping, and clutching my pearls throughout this entire series jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...

"YOU'RE NOT GIFTED AND YOU'RE NOT A CHILD! YOU'RE THIRTY-TWO YEARS OLD!"

I'm so grateful I dropped my accounting minor hahaaa (what the actual heck just happened to me-)

Listened to Bastard Warrior while doing yardwork this morning and I found a frog, his name is now Albus, look upon him and tremble