Not Really Spoilers But Be Warned TGR :

What I would give for a scene with Jean and Renee where she finally gets to see him up closed and healed. She'd walk up to him with a big smile and offer a hug, maybe he would hesitate, but its Renee so of course he hugs her, but not some simple side hug or a quick one. Instead he melts into her, letting her pull him down with arms around his shoulders and smile buried into his neck. And he is just, completely relaxed, full body relief. Renee is all warm smiles and soft words and Jean has that heartbreak love in his eyes. Then theres Jeremy with a jelaous understanding that Jean needs this, that he needs her. She cradles his face after he pulls away and looks at his scars, traces where the bruises were before telling him "you look good." And Jean's response is honest "I am"

Later that night Jeremy doesn't mean to ask about her but its been on his mind, Jean can tell something is eating at him.

"Spill it." Jean demands without looking up.

"What." Jeremy startles out of his thoughts, not following the conversation.

"Whats wrong?"Jeremy hesitates, unsure of how to say it.

"You care about her." It only takes Jean a moment to understand who he means.

"She saved my life." Its not exactly an answer, but its true.

"You told Cat you had been a in love before. Was it Renee?" Jeremy regrets the question the second he sees Jeans pained scowl. "We dont have to talk-"

"No. Maybe in another life, but it wasn't Renee I fell in love with. I dont think I was capable of loving someone when I was with her."

"Not capable?" Jeremy echos confused, trying to ignore his phrasing.

"It was against the rules." Jean looks away "I'm trying to change them now."

"The ravens rules. They wouldn't let you love someone?"

"No. It was a distraction. But now I have someone worth breaking them for." Jean shrugs, getting up before Jeremy can question 'who'.

Peacefully listening to this while thinking of Laila whispering this song to Jeremy

Spoilers under the cut

I imagine he goes through moments of wanting to relapse and going to her and just letting her hold him as he tries to calm himself. Very much seeking peace in each other when the world is too heavy. All of her anger and protectiveness comes from her being worried about him and I can see her letting all of that fall away when he needs her. 🥲 I need more sibling moments from them.

"Honey dont worry nobodys angry at any of this"

"Its like when you're tired, you"re someone else"

"Its easy to break beneath the weight of the earth"

"Cause darling I get scared for you and I'm not busy anyway"

"All of your falling, has it got exhausting have you gotten sleep"

There are so many lyrics that just resonate with them, my poor babies

Ive been on a drawing binge of sbg fanart 😅

The first one is just a silly pic if them flexing at Ashlyns ballet practice. Got inspired by Full Metal alchemist for the second one.

throws up

TGR SPOILERS

Jeremy has paid an exorbitant price for his brother's suicide, which, to be honest, wasn't even his. Noah shouldn't have been his responsibility in the first place. He's lost his family and will never get it back. The press humiliated him, the police denigrated him, his siblings and stepfather constantly insult him, his IDs have been seized, and he has no financial control to the point where he has to explain himself for buying a cup of coffee (and without ID, he can't work, so he can't make a living any other way). His family tries to isolate him by buying off his ex-partner. Bryson threatens him. Jeremy knows his future doesn't depend on him, so he decides he'll take some fun classes while he can. The guilt is so great that he seeks out dangerous and degrading sex in search of redemption. He allows his mother to boss him around, trying to get her to forgive him and love him. He's desperate for his biological father to call him.

And yet, he greets you with a fucking smile every day and tries to help his teammates as best he can and make everything as bearable for them. And yet, he tries to call Kevin and Neil to tell them not to overexert themselves when he's always so tired, he sometimes falls asleep while driving.

That's Jeremy Knox.

That's Captain Sunshine.

IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. Cat and Jean making dinner and Jean keeps getting annoyed that its in his face so Cat just kinda walks up to him and puts it up, so its kinda messy and the waves are all overlapping in that way they do when its unbrushed. Jean just giving a brief thank you before he continues cutting/seasoning food. Meanwhile Jeremy is just watching like 😳

Jean who’s still upset about his hair being ripped out in the nest, and lets his hair grow out super long just because he can.

Jeremy, who sees jean with his hair in a manbun for the first time and LOSES. HIS. SHIT.

I have been dwelling on the ravens, I need to preface this tangent with, I am not at all disregarding, belittling or excusing any of what these people have done, but I neeed to deep dive my thoughts because i cant be the only one who thought about this

Spoliers for like literally everything 😅

All of the ravens were failed, not just Kevin and Jean or even Neil. Even Riko and Greyson were failed. They were children. They were abused and manipulated and treated like they werent even people. They were forced into solitude, conditioned into violence and I can understand why most of them turned into monsters. If you really take a step back to think about it, its survival of the fittest, but being the fittest means being the cruelest, because if you were the absolute worst, no one would hurt you. 'If I become the monster, maybe I will be safe from what they do to each other'. How many times do you think the thought crossed their minds of "I cant be weak or I will end up like Jean, a punching bag, a play thing" or "If I mess up, if I dont give it my everything, they will break me like they did Kevin, but they will be more thorough this time, theyd end me" these are children, how else would they respond to these horrible conditions, how can you expect an abused dog to not attack. They are straved and beaten and beraided all for the sake of a 'game'. Greyson was a normal kid before he became a raven, and I dont think those straws would have ever broken of he hadnt become one because they probably never would have exisited. Yes, he is a horrible person now, but he didnt ask for this and in another life, he could have been someone. An older brother with a family and a goal for life, but he was no longer a brother and he had no family, only 'teammates'. I am so hoping that in one of the next books that the world sees what they did to these kids. I need doors busted down and people arrested, if Neil's uncle gets ahold of the Moriyamas, I dont want him to kill him or arrest him because he has always been weary of that, no I need him to tear down everything he has built, to show the people who he is and what his true colors are. I need the world to see that Riko was murdered because his uses ended. I need them to see that these kids are dropping like flies because they cant be people anymore, they dont know how. I want eyewitnesses and video footage making it out and it being undeniable that these kids were failed. They were supposed to be protected, loved and taught. College is supposed to be the gateway to adulthood and they were stripped of their freedom and made into machines. This breaks my heart. I know its so easy to hate these characters and to be angry, which is completely vaild and how we are supposed to view them because they are bad people, but at the end of the day they are children, they never got wymacks second chance or a found family. They didnt have a Renee to pull them out or an Andrew for protection, maybe if they had, things might have been different.

More drawings of my characters lol, this time Ramon got added (apprently I'm going to draw Colin with everyone but his girlfriend)

Colorized Polaroid of Sofia and Colin on a Merry-go-round

Then a picture of Ramon giving Colin a kiss ( when you're so deep in the friend zone, he lets you kiss him 🥲 )

Ramons design is definitely a work in progress, he is a newer character that hasnt actually been introduced in the story yet sooo I have no idea how I actually want him to look.

Reference picture for Colin and Ramon

I want Jean to crash out in a way that nearly hospitalizes someone

I want Jeremy to crash out in a way that nearly hospitalizes himself

Jean deserves to finally be allowed to be angry, to feel the hatred and disgust of everything he has been through, I want him to finally be able to fight for himself

I want Jeremy to stop hiding, to stop pretending everything will just be okay, I want him to be able to feel the sorrow and heartbreak that he is trying so hard to avoid

Let them feel what they are suppressing

Breaking my own heart over here.

You cannot convince me Jean didnt desperately wait for Kevin to come back for him 🥲