Peacefully Listening To This While Thinking Of Laila Whispering This Song To Jeremy

Ive been on a drawing binge of sbg fanart 😅

The first one is just a silly pic if them flexing at Ashlyns ballet practice. Got inspired by Full Metal alchemist for the second one.

Never lose sight of why you started

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

Don't think about Aaron Minyard at the Foxes and Ravens match

Don't think about how he had to watch his brother be attacked

Don't think about how he only had enough time to shout

Don't think about how he wasn't fast enough

Don't think about him seeing someone swing a racquet at Andrew

Don't think about how he knows damn well that a racquet swung with enough force can kill a man

Don't think about how he remembers the weight of that racquet in his hands as he swung

Don't think about how he fought for his brother

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

12 hours and 16 minutes later, I am about 45 seconds into this animation 😅

Anyway heres another panel

I feel like my style and how I have been drawing them is so inconsistent and all over the place, but I'm still at it 🤷‍♀️

Surprisingly not SBG related 😅

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesn’t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books 😭

I imagine this is what goes on in his head the whole time he has an empty stare 😭

i hate you

you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs because obviously someone could never look at me like you do. nobody could SEE ME the way you do. nobody else would dare to step into a viper pit on the off chance that it might protect me because nobody else has ever considered that i’m a real person. and that means you cannot be real. because there isn’t a single person who would try to protect me. i’m the only person who can save myself and i haven’t wanted to save myself in a very long time. i cannot be saved. but then i saw you standing there with auburn hair and blue eyes… jesus christ you cannot be real. because you are a terrified runaway and now you’re telling me that instead of running away like i told you to, instead of letting me take the fall like i expected to, you somehow ran directly into danger for ME? unreal unreal unreal you are a hallucination and a pipe dream because you’re saying things nobody has ever said to me and there is a catch in your voice that i’ve never heard before and it’s all because you were worried about me and it makes me sick because nobody should ever make you feel that way, least of all me. i see every piece of myself and my pain directed back at me, reflected in the ocean of your eyes and it makes me want to burn down the world, it makes me want to destroy myself, and yet you keep telling me that i deserve to live. you see me and you won’t let me tear myself apart but you don’t see that in offering yourself up to be slaughtered you are ripping me to shreds. you cannot be real. you cannot exist. and yet here you are, standing in front of me, bruised and bandaged and more alive than you’ve ever been. and i’m so terrified to want any piece of that because it’s impossible. you’re impossible. you don’t listen. you won’t back down when i tell you i’m not worth it. you’re a dream. you’re all the hopes i threw away when i was a child. you’re not my savior. i wish you would save me. i wish you could. i’m terrified that if i look at you too long, you will.

i hate you.

Things I want to happen school bus graveyard

• Aiden to lose it and go apeshit one someone (phantom or a person)

• for Ashlyn to be genuinely happy for more than one panel 🥲

• Ben to say something (whispering or yelling, maybe sometime happens and he no longer cares what he sounds like/ how bad it hurts)

• ( specifically in the facility ) one of them to get fatally hurt and the others all desperatly trying to break out of their rooms/break the lock ( I dont really want anyone to die but I think it would make for a great scene for them to use like the dresser drawers or something to bust out)

• For Taylor to save the day via mechanical skills (escape car?)

• For the parents (specifically Jessica 😠) to finally understand the extent of what their kids have gone through

I want Jean to crash out in a way that nearly hospitalizes someone

I want Jeremy to crash out in a way that nearly hospitalizes himself

Jean deserves to finally be allowed to be angry, to feel the hatred and disgust of everything he has been through, I want him to finally be able to fight for himself

I want Jeremy to stop hiding, to stop pretending everything will just be okay, I want him to be able to feel the sorrow and heartbreak that he is trying so hard to avoid

Let them feel what they are suppressing

Andrew Minyard

I tried so hard and I feel like I didn't do him justice but I have drawn the boy

Also I don't know if its tumblr or my computer that is butchering the quality, I swear it looks neater on my end.

NO BECAUSE IVE DWELLING ON THIS

The panel right before this one, he is off in the back ground and he looks so dark and gloomy. Everyone else is staring ahead but he is looking down.

Everyone is frozen, no one knows what to do and they are in danger. Ashlyn feels responsible for all of this and (I believe) she wants to try to help Ryan, she wants revenge against Jasmine but they need to escape. Everyone is so caught up in the moment, in panic, anger, frustration, so no one moves. Aiden is the crazy one, the lunitic, he doesnt think before he does things (prime example, jumping off the fucking WALL) but when no one was thinking, he stepped up, he made a decision everyone else was unable to make because they had to move. But if he had gone by himself, if he had just walked away, everyone would be concerned "what is this idiot doing" "where is he going, hes going to get himself hurt" but he took Ashlyn with him. He didnt hesitant to pull her along. She trusts him to do so, although she may see him as a moron, she trusts him because yes he is impulsive and reckless but one thing he is not, inconsiderate. She knows this because the pure panic he had when she got taken on the roof, the fear he had when he fought to get her back. He would never put her or the group in danger. She was, in a brief moment, unable to lead them, so he did it for her. The safest thing to do was to run, the only way they all 100% could get out is to run. The infected were coming, the staff had guns and was hunting them, there was no option but running. He was not going to let anyone get hurt again.

Chapter 86 spoilers

He always does the most