I Know Many Things.

My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

In the Twilight Zone. straight up "narrating it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My epeesodes

Imagine if you will, a young man, tired beyond belief. Sleepy. Perhaps even eepy. This young man will be faced by forces beyond his control that will try and drag him from his cozy and warm bed. That force? Capitalism. Welcom... to The Twilight Zone.

imagine a cigarette

Those would be the 8 billion people you made

The Voices (The Voices)

...Do I even need to say anything? I think this speaks well for itself (and hears even better)

Amazon Alexa+ AI surveillance warning signs

Ars Technica

Everything you say to your Echo will be sent to Amazon starting on March 28

Amazon is killing a privacy feature to bolster Alexa+, the new subscription assistant.

Imagine if you will

A most fascinating worker, with a job most unusual...

“Tonight’s story on the Twilight Zone is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction..”

BOO! It’s my tower of terror oc