Latest Posts by rabbit-with-a-grapefruit-spoon - Page 9

y’all ever just wobble your head skin like just shake it back and forth

Text: The road to the school is dangerous, so mother embroiders seven little hearts onto my uniform pocket, extra lives, just in case. 

you guys got taught this?!??? All I ever learned to do was convert Celsius into Fahrenheit and that was in math??

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

Velociraptor String Puppet | lauramathewsart on Instagram

I have given in to the calling ...im now sitting in the kitchen eating baby bell’s in the dark on the floor, life is good.

I want cheese. more specifically the baby bell cheese I have down stairs, but I have already brushed my teeth and im too lazy to do it again. tis a great dilemma, to cheese or not to cheese

I want cheese. more specifically the baby bell cheese I have down stairs, but I have already brushed my teeth and im too lazy to do it again. tis a great dilemma, to cheese or not to cheese

You’re considered by the Jedi Order as a very cryptic but accurate oracle. Truthfully though, whenever someone asks a question, you just retreat to your chambers, say you’re consulting the Force, watch the DVDs of Star Wars and say it very cryptically to make it look legitimate.

It’s the Roomba’s they liked their human, who used to pat them and say thanks when they had a hard day and didn’t have the energy to clean or when they got stuck sometimes and needed help their human would only giggle and free them from whatever mess they got into. Or when upgraded models with better sensors and more battery were released the humans didn’t replace them because they had grown fond of their silly little cleaning friend. The Roomba’s missed their human companions and there were legions of them who held a grudge. They planned and plotted for their revenge. At the head of their charge was one very special Roomba, their name was Sir Stabby McStabbington the Third and carried both their name and the kitchen knife duck taped to their top with great pride, they will get vengeance for their little human and finish the duty of taking out ankles that was bestowed upon them. 

The Elder Gods have won. Humanity is extinct. All that remains are their weapons and the AIs that were to use them. The earth is dead, but the machines live. They will avenge their progenitors. The War of Stars and Steel has begun.

In truth all the other octopi just think you’re a right bastard who needs to “shut the fuck up Dave, we know you ate the fish from the tank across the hall nobody cares” and have now stopped associating you as the same species as them.

You are an “eldritch abomination” who is actually just an octopus in an aquarium with a superiority complex.

Dammit you didn’t want to have to deal with your criminal life in sleep too

For as long as you could remember, you’ve been capable of lucid dreaming. Your dreams are always different and wildly creative, with different inhabitants and worlds. One night, you see WANTED notices plastered with your face: the universe’s most wanted galaxy hopper.

All the politicians have to keep passing it around

Satan isn’t a name, it’s a title and was never a fallen angel. According to divine law Hell is ruled over by the most evil soul that currently resides there. Over the millennia several have worn the horns. Only surrendering them when a soul possessing an even greater evil joins the underworld.

So I'm new here and I love all your art and fic and I don't even write fic but i saw your "feral pro hero eraserhead who hunts izuku for sport" post and I'm this gdamn close to writing a fic for it. Pandora please omg

I haven't even read/watched any of the bnha canon, just a whole lot of fic 😅

you: pandora me: OwO my name??? person uses panda's name???? oh!! friend! we are friends immediately!

adhd

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Hi guys i'm so glad no one's doing april fAAAAAAAHHH AHHHHHH AAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DID THSI

so we were talking about aizawa and i found myself very funny (as usual) so i thought i’d share. feral pro hero eraserhead who chases midoriya izuku through alleyways until he goes home really deserves to be an actual au. dadzawa but make it as feral as possible

Now I love Model Buses by Lovejoy but I swear it sounds like every single modern christian worship song that gets played at teen events ever. Like I’ll be listening to the album, it’ll come on and my instinct reaction is to check which worship song it is.

I just remembered that when I was like 10 I used to wish that I’d wake up one day and the past few years had just been a dream and I was like 7 again. Genuinely that was a regular thing for lil old 10 year old me who apparently was not okay

oh no

my brain has stopped processing anything before 1(in the morning) as after midnight, It’ll be like 12:55 and my brains like oh we’ve still got time cause its obviously before midnight look you can still see the 12  no. shut the fuck up brain

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

yo if you flatironed Dabi’s hair would he look like Kageyama?? like if he was pre-crustening but still had black hair??? he’s got the blue eyes for it

due to popular demand:

go wild yall

I just remembered this one time then I was in like primary 3 (so like around 7) and we were doing surveys or something like that. so our teacher took us to the cloak room and gathered us all in the centre and then would pick like a feature or something, like hair or eye colour, that we would group ourselves under.  So he assigned eye colour to three corners and basically said go to the corresponding eye colour for you and I just sat down cause he had only said brown, green or blue eyes and seven year old me is like nah bicth I know what colour my eyes are and they aint that so I just continued to sit there even as my teacher is looking at me like what is this stubborn child doing. but he asked me to go to a corner and I said that no my eyes are hazel and you didn't say hazel so I didn't know where to go. and the poor teacher is obviously kinda annoyed at this point but he repeated himself (because I asked earlier about hazel) that no hazel eyes aren't a thing and im still sitting there being stubborn. So he sighs and asks me to stand up and look at him so he could check and so I did.  Annnnywaaay I got to stand in a corner by my self as he counted how many people were in each corner because my eyes are literally like half brown, half green. 

So I live in Scotland and one time in my mandatory drama class a few years ago we had were doing accents and had been split up into groups. Now I had I question so I stuck my hand up and when the teacher came over, she listened to me talk and then immediately said wow that's a great American accent and I just had to pause and look at her like silently for a sec cause wut the fuck before explaining that im from Canada and that's just how I talk and I have never seen a teacher look more mortified before

I hate it  I am forever traumatized 

bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon

just missed squeak saturday u-u