When I Was In High School My AP English Teacher Told Us We Weren’t Allowed To Eat In Class So I Took

On one hand, fuck yeah aliens, on the other hand, yeah fuck aliens.

The last thing you remember, you were eaten in a single bite by an enormous alien creature. Now, as you hatch from an egg as one of its children with all your previous memories intact, you can’t help but contemplate the pros and cons of this discovery.

Billy trying to figure out why villains keep throwing glowing green rocks at him and then being surprised when nothing happens and he rocks their shit so one day he brings like a backpack full of Kryptonite up to the Watchtower to ask Batman what the fuck it is only to nearly kill Superman on accident

Steph: Come on Dami, tell us who's your favorite sibling

Tim: Me. Obviously

Damian: Do you have a concussion right now, or has your caffeine habit finally caused brain damage?

Duke: Yeah unless you all were pulling my leg, Damian tried, and nearly succeeded, to kill you multiple times

Tim: Let me explain-

Damian: This ought to be good

Tim: When I started being Robin, Dick barely talked to me and now he calls me multiple times a week and we go train surfing once a month

Dick: Sorry about that. I was kinda going through....a lot

Tim: No problem. Then Jason damn near killed me and he says I'm his favorite brother. We play Smash Brothers and talk shit about you guys all the time

Steph: It's true, I've been over there a few times. There's also cake and plotting against our enemies

Tim: So I fully expect that Damian either will, or currently does, like me the best. After the second murder attempt I knew I was going to be his best man if he gets married

Damian: Oh No

Dick: What?

Damian: I just thought about it and if I had to pick a best man, it'd be a tie between you and Drake!

Tim: Just accept it. The more you try to hate me, the more you'll love me

When Billy’s mad at Batman he fills out justice league reports in dead languages

Billy batson! And/or shazam!

just a normal transformation

ok but have you ever seen a parked blimp?

why is this so goddamn funny

This reminds me of that one set of cover designs for the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. If I remember correctly all four of those fit together to make a different image depending on how you arranged them.

Trio slime 💙💙

dpxdc twins au except it's no-pulse flavored

Bart’s new roommate looks a lot like Tim. 

Like, suspiciously like Tim. 

Danny’s the same height, has the same shape of nose, same shade of hair, and even frowns like him. He would have been a perfect copy if he acted more like Tim, but Danny definitely holds himself looser than Bart’s ever seen Tim. 

But he still has his face. So, obviously, Bart has to investigate. Maybe he’s a clone, or a shapeshifter, or maybe one of the Gotham rogues decided to get facial reconstruction surgery to look like him, and this was all a ploy. 

Okay, probably not that last one. Bart doesn’t think Tim’s enemies know his identity. 

Anyway, investigation! Bart’ll figure this out himself, and deal with it if Danny needs to be dealt with. And the investigation will start right after he comes up with an excuse as to why he’s back in their third floor apartment when he passed Danny in the hallway a few seconds before. 

Danny stares at him, and Bart stares back. 

“Must’ve been a doppelganger!” Bart blurts out. 

Danny’s silent for a second before nodding enthusiastically and noting that everyone's supposed to have like seven in the world anyway and wow what a wild coincidence that there’s one in their building. 

Bart extends the same courtesy when a week later he walks in on Danny with an iced over pan on the stove. Danny says they should really get their freezer checked out and Bart agrees and asks if he can use the ice for a painting study. 

(They never get their freezer checked.)

Bart finds that Danny’s great at setting up fun things for him to draw, whether he knows it or not. Like the ice, or his collection of rocks, his astronomy textbooks with the pretty covers, his gestures as he rants about his classes, the excited glint in his eyes when he’s talking about his next repair project and how his eyes almost look like they glow in the right light. 

Hm. A good portion of his sketchbook is drawings of Danny, and yet he’s still having trouble with getting the right blue for his eyes. At first glance they’re Tim’s shade of blue, but when he keeps looking they seem to get lighter. Maybe greener?

He should probably stop staring into his friend’s eyes. 

Well, maybe not. Danny doesn’t seem to mind. 

Just like he doesn’t mind when they started regularly sitting very close on the couch, or falling asleep together, or Bart borrowing some of his jackets, or-

Okay, Bart’s kinda seeing a pattern. He and Danny should really have a conversation about if this is platonic behavior or not. 

But not right now, because Bart brought Danny across the river to raid Wally’s board game closet in Keystone. 

And Wally, who’s used to this, just passes by them with a, “Hey Bart, hey Tim.”

“Danny, not Tim,” Danny replies almost absent mindedly, then looks back at Wally, who’s also staring at him now. “Wait, you know Tim?”

“OhmyGod I was supposed to investigate!” Bart says, face palming. It just slipped his mind! And Danny was distracting him with his pretty face that he totally wears better than Tim!

“You know him too?” Danny asks. But he doesn’t look suspicious of them, more amused. 

“How do you know him?” Wally squints at Danny, eyes briefly catching Bart’s in question. 

“He’s my twin,” Danny answers easily. “The Drakes only wanted one kid, so they gave me to their friends the Fentons, who wanted a second one.” He shrugs and goes back to digging around the closet. “Tim and I were always in contact, though. Letters and phone calls and texting, you know?” 

He says it all so casually while Wally and Bart are sharing increasingly concerned looks behind his back. 

Do the Waynes know about Danny? Has Tim never brought him up? Why? Does Danny know about Red Robin? Does Tim-

“Holy shit does this mean Tim has ice powers too!?” 

Or: Tim and Danny are twins. Through a series of coincidences, the first people to find out that aren’t Fentons or Drakes are the flashes.

(This post was brought to you by me recently finishing the 1995 Impulse run, and wanting an excuse to share this panel:

Look they both got called twinks clearly they're soulmates)