Oh No

yo if you flatironed Dabi’s hair would he look like Kageyama?? like if he was pre-crustening but still had black hair??? he’s got the blue eyes for it

wayne Family making me want to draw stupid things

Imagine Cap's identity reveal happening years later when he's already over 18. Like, they would have been working together for a whole decade, laughed together, cried together, introduced him to their spouses etc and then suddenly. Boom, lightning, and he's actually some college kid. The whole League immediately starts panicking and doing the math in their head while Billy's just like-

"Statue of limitations", with a shit eating grin preferably. Come on, he's been losing sleep over this for years, now's their turn to let it mess with their heads.

Imagine them calling it a day and going home, trying to relax after that hectic mess and then it suddenly hits them-

Clark staring at the ceiling in his pajamas, "I punched a 10 year old once. And really hard too."

Wally stress eating cereal, "I always liked the guy because I felt we were on the same wavelength. What does that say about me that I can hang with a literal sixth grader and not even mind? No, wait, don't answer that."

Arthur venting to Mara, "I had lengthy discussions trying to convince a twelve year old to go out for drinks, on multiple occasions."

Most of Young Justice, "he's younger than me and he's been the on-and-off again den mom for years!"

fell asleep wondering how body disposal would work in a world were humans evolved more like turtles or giant clams, and had a thick carapace, huge and tougher than our current skeletal system. imagine how inconvenient it would be for a murderer trying to get rid of a body--how do u dispose of the giant fucking shell? also coffins would be a different shape, more like an ellipsoid? human skeletons usually take less than a century to disintegrate, but imagine if we had a exoskeleton that was prone to fossilization. the study of archeology would be very, very affected. also i assume we wouldn't be able to sleep on our backs anymore? how would beds be shaped. what would a world run by turtle-humans look like. would we cover our shells with fabric/clothing or decorate them like we do fingernails? or just straight up do airbrush art? would graffiti be a social issue? someone spray paints u while you're sleeping and u have to pay to have your shell professionally sandpapered? there are so many sociological implications

these are the thoughts that come to me at night

does shipping sander sides count as selftest?? or is just really weird when you think about it in depth for more than 10 minutes???

really is so strange and ew how white feminists think that any kind of sexual attraction or erotic expression towards women is inherently oppressing women lol like y'all are weird and scary I hope you know that dysfunctional sexuality is not a political position

Jason is at the limit of limitality, a single drop more of ectoplasm and he'd be a hafta. With so much ectoplasm and still able to be possessed his body is the perfect place for a ghost to hideout in or just take a nap. I have no clue if this makes sense it's 3am. I just am giggling over the thought of Danny hanging out in the back of Jason's mind and chest bursting out of him to freak people out in emergencies. Of Danny taking a nap, he rolls over and his tail flops out of Jason's chest and he has to quickly shove it back in.

That would be hilarious.

If Jason doesn't know about this it would be funny, but it would be even better if he did and they conspired together to prank people

Jason: *knocks politely on his chest armor*

The bats: ?

Danny: *pops his head out of Jason's chest* Hello :D

Pandemonium ensues

*shakes fictional character* where is the rest of your information I want to know more about you

Stakeout

Batman: Oracle, status report.

Oracle: [over the comms] the teams are all in position. Things are quiet so far.

Batman: Hm. Ok, thank you Oracle. I’ll check in on them. [switches over to Nightwing and Robin’s frequency]

-

Nightwing: -nd I’ve already bought it! You need to socialise more; this is an important part of your childhood.

Robin: No.

Nightwing: It’s so cute, though. You’ll look adorable!

Robin: [with feeling] No.

Nightwing: [huffs] At least try it on; I already paid for it.

Robin: I am NOT going trick-or-treating.

Batman: …[switches over to Orphan and Batgirl’s comms]

-

Batgirl: -so then I said “you put that hand anywhere near me again I’ll break it off” and he-

Orphan: B is listening now.

Batgirl: oh, hey B. Anyway then we had sex and he had this-

Batman: [cuts off the feed before he becomes even more traumatised] …

Batman: …ok. [tunes into Red Robin and Red Hood’s frequency]

-

Red Hood: [in a fake posh voice] the handyman?!!! How could you DO this to me Dolores?!

Red Robin: [in a high-pitched voice] How could I?!! How could I NOT?? You married your office long before I ever fucked Juan-Eduardo!

Red Hood: Don’t you DARE put this on me! I knew I shouldn’t have hired that ridiculously good looking sonofabitch!

Red Robin: Hah! Well that wouldn’t have stopped me from sleeping with CHAD!

Red Hood: NO!

Red Robin: [Triumphantly] OH YES

Red Hood: NO! MY BEST FRIEND?? WILL THE LIES NEVER END DOLORES??

Red Robin: YES! And let me tell you- he was SO MUCH better than you. He-

Red Hood: YOU’RE TEARING ME APART DOLORES

Red Robin: [breaking character] nice one

Red Hood: thank you

Batman: [over the comms] what are you DOING?

Red Robin: Hi B. There’s a couple in the building across from us who’re having a huge fight. We’re giving them voices.

Red Hood: [in his fake voice] Look at all these papers! These papers that I’m waving around! Look at them!!

Red Robin: [as “Dolores”] Well if you love your papers so much why don’t you MARRY THEM?

Red Hood: MAYBE I WILL

Red Robin: I HATE YOU! I have always hated you! and what’s more- I HATE your MOTHER.

Red Hood: [gasps] MY MOTHER IS A SAINT AND A GIFT TO MANKIND

Red Robin: YOUR MOTHER IS A DECREPIT OLD WHORE

Red Hood: I WILL- DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME DOLORES

Red Robin: [hisses] Whenever the Mets play, I wish they would lose.

Red Hood: [gasps] YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?? ME -the man who obviously bought every piece of Mets Merch known to man and display them in every room of our apartment like a tool?! HOW COULD YOU??!

Red Robin: Well what are you gonna do about it? HUH?

Red Hood: WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’LL DO! I’M GONNA TAKE THIS GUN- [breaks character] Ohmygod he’s got a gun! Shit fuck moving out

Red Robin: We’re coming Dolores!

[Line goes dead]

Batman: …[stares unseeingly at the sky]

Oracle: Aw man, and it was just getting good too.

*old man yaoi-s your maxley*

i don’t see that much content of them being older dudes in the 2020s soooooo i made an au (and things here are subject to change!)

their ages are based on the idea that max was born in 1981 (he was 11 in goof troop) and that bradley was a senior when they first met. my friends and i had to curate an entire timeline by consulting the transcript and (fanon and personal) headcanons