They Used To Spray Me Wuith Cold Water When I Tried Eating My Favorite Meal The Lovely Potted Plant

An old friend

yknow it's a real shame that romans didn't have access to australia specifically for augury reasons. i really wish i could have seen a roman augur have to deal with australian birds. like imagine trying to properly interpret an omen from a fuckin. cassowary

please don’t be mean to me i will literally be on my deathbed replaying it in my head asking myself why i’m such a unique annoyance to society

I’m sorry but no modern comedy will ever top this

x

The End by Artem Chebokha

Venus Rising from the Sea, 1866 - oil on canvas. — Gustave Moreau (French, 1826-1898)

sniffs you

stop doing coke with these jokes and come smoke crackula with dracula

we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors