Hot Tip: Don’t Fuck Your Breakfast

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

it's me boy, the medieval scribe speaking to you inside your brain. listen to me boy. draw in the margins of your notes instead of paying attention

[first day as a hostage negotiator]

bank robber: these rich fucks ruined me life! I want ten million dollars and a helicopter

me: bitch me too. I'm switching sides

My era rn is uncategorizable. The the way I am living is unheard of

bottling some more assorted things for patreon last month

"its a texas chainsaw miracle"

golden eagle having a relaxing time

spotify can't shuffle for shit. i shuffle better than you and they laugh me out of card games. pathetic

doodle

>hear frantic clicking and the sounds of exertion

>must be a rhythm game player

>genuinely impressed at the apm

>look outside

>crabs are pinching a man to death