Latest Posts by maylambb - Page 5

Batkids calling Bruce when they need him.

Dick gets arrested for underage drinking call my dad now he's not in the slightest scared but he wants his dad. Bruce who already got bail done and is wrapping Dick in a blanket.

Jason crashes a car already on the phone with Bruce who is speeding to him.

Tim is falling asleep at the office and wants to go home dad please pick me up. Waking up tucked in Bruce's bed.

Damian gets in a fight at school you call my father right now. He suspended but Bruce hugs him on the way out.

Cass standing face to face with David Cain the man who should have been her father but isn't but before she can scream for Bruce she's wrapped in his cape.

Duke calling Bruce because the kids at school have never been nice to a kid from the wrong side of the tracks and getting ice cream just because.

Stephanie just calling Bruce to talk knowing no matter how busy he is there will be time for her.

Babs who even though Jim Gordon is a great man after a nightmare about the joker only wants one man. Bruce running in the middle of the night to her door. Wrapping his batgirl in his arms.

Kids who aren't afraid to call Dad. He wont be mad he wants them to call. To know he will drop everything to get to his boys, or his girls. Scared birds shouting for the big bad bat and he comes running.

Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously

Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.” 

The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers

The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’ 

When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’

Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument

Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that

When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing. 

Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”

Bawling my eyes out at the thought of Dick’s last bit of parting advice for Damian on how to be Bruce’s Robin (before he went back to blud) being “just pretend to fall asleep during a stake out. Trust me”

Of course Damian’s sceptical and it takes him a long time to even THINK about making himself look that vulnerable but his curiosity eventually wins and he pretends to fall asleep during a boring night.

He thought he was prepared for all possibilities but he was not prepared for Bruce to call out his name, sigh softly and scoop him up, not letting go of him even once until they reach his bed (he will never admit it but he actually did end up falling asleep). He was absolutely not prepared for Bruce to take his shoes off, tuck him in and hesitate just a little second before giving him a forehead kiss and leaving the room silently. He ends up actually falling asleep on the very next week

U ever start smth and ur like haha this is such a cute SKETCH and then it turns into a 10hr painting. Anyway heres astral plane viktor as ponyo's mother

Dumb thing that would not leave my brain

One of these days the yearning is gonna get them both killed

horny sleep paralysis demon

this is pretty much what happened. right.

i promised you 🦋

(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

Bruce picks up the habit of casual shows of affection from Dick. It starts with little things, just a pat on the shoulder or ruffling Dick’s hair. With Jason, he pulls his son into half hugs. With Tim, he’ll drop a kiss on the top of his head. Damian, kisses to the cheek or forehead.

He doesn’t really think about it most of the time. His body simply moves, and his kids peek up at him with a smile, embarrassed blush, shock, or scowl. And Bruce just smiles warmly at them because he loves his kids. He can’t say it out loud, the words getting trapped on the tip of his tongue, but he can certainly show it through his actions.

Bruce’s casual affection isn’t a problem. At least, it doesn’t start as one. It’s not until it starts to extend outside of his family.

Kon look at him with utter confusion and shock when Batman ruffles his hair and offers him a ‘good job, kid’. Jon leans into Bruce when he presses a kiss to the top of his head, giggling as it tickles slightly. Wally and Roy get half hugs and a pat on the shoulder, and they exchange looks of confusion. No one says anything about it because as strange as it is, they’re not particularly bothered. If anything, they might even like it.

And then it gets worse.

Batman kisses Superman’s cheek and smiles so openly, so warmly. “You’re amazing.”

Clark doesn’t move a muscle. His eyes are wide, staring at the man he’s so undeniably in love with despite the fact that he’s never been able to say it out loud. He’s almost tempted to pinch himself, check if he’s dreaming or hallucinating. Because Bruce is being so sweet.

He doesn’t get a chance to comment on it because Robin stomps his way forward and grabs Batman’s hand, tugging him away. Bruce goes easily, leaning down to kiss Damian as well, and the boy most certainly doesn’t preen under the attention and easy affection of his father. What he does do is look over his shoulder and glare at Clark, as if to say ‘he’s mine.’

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

Here’s more of them because they are the ultimate dynamic duo, literally it’s the ultimate life form and ultimate warrior.

love my test tube children (kon too…might do another him later) also i forgot to give Damian a helmet and elbow pads…but he’ll be fine….probably

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

Bruce is a chronic napper

He loves taking naps. Go into his study, the library, the indoor pool. Doesn’t matter, he’ll find some place to take a quick nap

As funny as the whole Dad snore headcannon is, I think Bruce is a quiet and light sleeper

You won’t even notice he’s in the room as he naps.

Over the years, the batfamily has gotten pretty good at guessing where he’s napping. If they aren’t tracking him down for a particular reason it’s mostly to nap with him

Damian loves curling up on his father’s chest (looking like a cute kitten, but he resents that so don’t say anything). He says he's just protecting Bruce's vital organs but no one believes him. They have the same sleeping face and it’s adorable.

Dick also loves curling up on Bruce’s chest. Thank the lord Bruce is still significantly bigger than him. It always reminds him of when it was just the two of them, back when he was smaller and Bruce could still protect him against the world.

Jason can no longer curl up on Bruce’s chest so he settles for nestling himself in Bruce’s side. He always tells himself that he’ll be out before Bruce wakes up, but he always falls asleep, and the next thing he knows Bruce has his arm wrapped around him and he can’t escape. Not that he wants to

Tim likes to finish up easy cases right next to Bruce. Despite their turbulent time working together as Batman and Robin, he still finds a lot of comfort in Bruce. He can breeze through the easy cases and then shut his eyes for a bit with his dad.

Cass is always there. When she gets there, no one knows. But she always brings a blanket so it’s much appreciated. She’s the one that naps with Bruce the most, other than Ace.

Alfred likes to sit and just watch Bruce breathe. It’s comforting to know that he’s still alive after years of close calls.

Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess

Saiki n mob

Oracle (dazed): Okay, like, you just take a turn left and... ummmmm... got it?

Red Hood (on comms): That was a completed sentence.

Oracle (pushing her fingers together to see an image): It wasn't was it? I'm hungry. Let me get up. Oh, I can’t stand!

Oracle cackled while keeping her finger pressed on the communication button, allowing everyone on patrol to hear her.

Spoiler: Oh God, she's been Jokerized! Oracle, hang in there!

Nightwing: Oracle, did you buy those brownies after I told you it’d be a bad idea?

Oracle (balancing a pen on her finger): Yeppers, and I ate both bars! And I feel gooood! YEAH!

Red Hood (figuring out what was in the brownies): Oh my God, you ate two! You’re not coming down from that high for a while.

Oracle: Then I will ride the wave! Weeee!

Oracle spun in her wheelchair while cackling. Harper looked up from her tablet, laughing softly as she prepared to take over the controls since Barbara was definitely sitting this one out.

Nightwing: I told you those brownies weren’t worth it!

Oracle: You’re not my man; you can’t tell me what to do!

Robin (Damian): I’m confused about what brownies she ate that are making her this stupid.

Batman: Can someone take her off the computer?!

Oracle: You’re not my supervisor, you unsalted oatmeal, glutton for punishment, Star Wars prequel enjoying ninny!

The others went silent as Oracle giggled while resting her head on the desk.

Batman (clenching his teeth): Take her off the comms or I'm about to say a whole lot of mean things.

Harper: All right, just going to take over for ya, pal. Just eat the Cheetos I brought.

Oracle: Awesome!

Oracle rolled over to a small table she had set up while Harper took over.

Harper: She should be fine in a few hours and probably regret a lot of what she’s done. I think the brownies she bought were filled with a lot more than cannabis. This is Gotham, so I don't doubt it.

Robin: Oh, she’s intoxicated! Just give her some water and a toy, that’s how we handle Father.

Batman: You do what now?

why is he so sassy here

Batman: Shaman #4

I don't think that Viktor swears often but I really like that people sometimes write him swearing in Czech. Also I think that it was a little traumatic for Jayce when he heard Viktor swear for the first time.

I just had to draw it.

The thing is that czech swearing often contains more than one word. The bigger fuked up, the longer you swear. And it's…let's say…very rich xd

I was thinking about translating it but it's imposible

Saiki has a little sister au, part 5: SPIDER AAAAAA [FULL COMIC UNDER THE CUT]

prev - next?

I offer you: Tim Drake being absolutely demolished in a way or another for being good at videogames, both by his opponent and his own teammate

Recently this is the only thing capable of pumping some dopamine in my ADHD brain so this is what u get lol

More to come!

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.

Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.

Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.

Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?

Jason: nerds.

Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.

Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.

Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.

Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.

Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-

Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.

Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later

Damian Wayne is pretty.

This is something that Dick, Jason, and Tim have learned to accept and begrudgingly deal with the consequences of.

Damian was bound to be attractive, what with having Bruce Wayne as a father and Talia al Ghul as a mother; there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was going to grow up beautifully. And he did.

Long were the days of people cooing over him and telling him, 'Oh my God, you look so much like your father when he was your age.' By the time Damian hit 14 is when he really started to grow into his looks. The older he got, the more obvious it became who he took after.

Damian had inherited a lot from his mother, be it her laugh, her strength, or her flair for the dramatics (though if you were to ask her, she'd say he got it from Bruce). He had also inherited her slight and lean frame along with her height—an even 5'8". His green eyes are a given; however, the long lashes that framed them came from his father, along with his nose and eyebrows. The rest of him was all Talia, which made him look rather soft and delicate, something he was surprisingly never insecure about. He knew his strengths and what he was capable of, and if he happened to look like his mother, then so be it; she's a beautiful woman, and he's honored to have her resemblance.

Now, back to his brothers and how this affects them.

When one is pretty, one gets attention; however, not all of it is good attention. Because Damian has never really taken his looks into consideration, he is completely unaware of the effect he has on people.

This leaves Dick, Jason, and Tim having to deal with the weirdos and creeps trying to get too close to their baby brother.

Steph: So who would you say is the pretty brother amongst the four of you?

Tim: Oh Dick for sure

Dick: Aww...

Jason: Actually... If we're talkin' man pretty than yeah, it's Dick, but if we're talkin' pretty pretty, Damian

Tim: Really??

Jason: Yeah put a wig on him and his basically his mom.

Dick:

Tim:

Dick and Tim: Oh my god...

--------

Damian, simply just minding his own business in his room with his best friend Jon

Dick, Jason and Tim busting open his door: Damian we need you to put on a wig!

Damian: Excuses me!?

Jon quietly to himself simply trying to hold it together: holy shit..

Wait… I just found out that this picture comes from Jon’s dreams… you mean to tell me Jon dreamt up Damian in this outfit………

Bruce coming up to Dick and Tim (Jason isn't at the manor), they just point at Damian. Damian was learning from Alfred and Jason to impress Jon 😉

(Anyone currently running a batfam socmed AU feel free to steal this 💜)

Okay, don't get me wrong here. I LOVE Jurassic Park. I love seeing their dinosaurs. But after watching Prehistoric Planet, and going back to look at this...

And then looking at this...

Notice how much healthier the second set looks? Their lips cover their teeth, they actually have fat on their bodies, their skin doesn't wrinkle like they're dehydrated. You can't see every single tendon and muscle move because you aren't supposed to. Dinosaurs are animals, not reptilian body-builders.

THIS is the kind of change I want to see in how we create realistic depictions of not only dinosaurs, but all prehistoric creatures. Paleoart has always had a huge issue with shrink-wrapping and making these animals look terrifying instead of making them look like, well, animals.

Well done, BBC.