Dazai, being captured by the enemy who is dragging him away : Let me go and I'll pay you whatever you want.
Dazai: Fuck I forgot my wallet!
Dazai: *turns back to look at Chuuya*
Dazai: Chuuya, pay him whatever he wants !!!
Chuuya: Thank you for inviting me to mackerel's wedding today, Kouyou.
Kouyou: Yeah no problem.
Chuuya: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Dazai marrying?
Kouyou: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Dazai!
Chuuya: Wait, what?
Mori: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.
Kouyou: For a week! No, a month!
Hirotsu: Here’s some money, make it two!
Dazai, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?
Chuuya: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird about it?
Kouyou: Come on, when have I ever been? Go on, tell me!
Chuuya: Well, Dazai--
Kouyou: You can do better!
Chuuya:
Chuuya: I had no idea you were so willing to die for me.
Dazai: Trust me I can hardly believe it myself.
Mori: So are any of you NOT in love with Dazai?
Kunikida:
Ranpo:
Fyodor:
Sigma:
Odasaku, rising from the dead:
Chuuya: *raises hand*
Mori: PUT YOUR FUCKIN HAND DOWN CHUUYA!
Chuuya: *beating the shit out of the enemy using his gravity powers*
Dazai, under his breath: He’s so strong and so dumb and one day he's gonna top me!
Dazai: You're wearing make-up???
Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Dazai:
Dazai: No it looks stupid...
*some moments later*
Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!
Odasaku: I know.
Dazai: I'm so gay...
Odasaku: *sighs* I know...
Dazai: If you tell anyone that we kissed I promise I will make your 2024 a living nightmare.
Chuuya: How is that any different from now?
Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.
Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?
Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?
Odasaku:
Ango:
Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.
Dazai: My feelings for Chuuya are strictly platonic.
Ango: I see...What color are his eyes?
Dazai: Ocean blue, not in a weird way but in a way your ship can get lost in their waves and you’d never want to escape because it feels like an adventure and discovering new things in life...
Odasaku: Right...
Ango: What color are my eyes?
Dazai: Idk brown? Shut up Ango I'm talking about Chuuya.
Chuuya: When I have a crush I don't kick my feet or twirl my hair. Chuuya: Instead I am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just can't crack.