Chuuya: Are you ready to commit?
Dazai: Like, a crime, a suicide or a relationship?
Chuuya: Shut up!
Dazai: Or what?
Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:
Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!
Dazai: *malfunctions*
Chuuya, pointing to his leather pants on the bed: Which one of these bottoms would look the best on me?
Kouyou: Well considering none of them are Dazai I would say none.
Chuuya:
Kouyou:
Chuuya, turning all red: The literal fuck?
Dazai, whispering to Chuuya's ear during a pm meeting: I'm sure that no one here has as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya: WTF?
Dazai: Sorry, I misspoke. I meant no one here is as big of a dick as you.
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Sure...
Mori: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Dazai: Take them!
Chuuya: Punch them in the neck!
Tachihara: Say thank you!
Akutagawa: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Mori:
Mori: No.
Chuuya: We all have our demons.
Chuuya: *grabs Dazai*
Chuuya: This is mine.
Dazai: When you see him, please don’t freak out ok?
Kunikida: I’m not going to freak out. Who ever you’re dating I’ll always be accepting of them. Even if they were working in the port mafia...
Dazai: Alright, you can come in!
*Chuuya walks in*
Kunikida: Mr. Nakahara, please get out of the way. I’m trying to see who is Dazai dating!
Dazai: I’m an excellent driver.
Chuuya: You almost ran over a woman by accident.
Dazai, remembering how that woman smiled at Chuuya flirtatious: Ah yes… by accident… yes.
Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?
Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?
Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?
Dazai: It's perfectly fine.
Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.
Chuuya: We...
Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.
Akutagawa: Poetry?
Dazai:
Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.
Akutagawa:
Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.
Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...
Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*
Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?
Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.
Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.
Dazai: Would you slap your crush's face for 2 million dollars?
Chuuya: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free.
Dazai: Savag-
Dazai: Wait...
Dazai: WAIT-
Chuuya, panicking: fgqhcwgnaklud-