Rafayel is really only nice to MC. I know this has been said before but the more I think about it, the more it messes with me. He’s seen as bratty and whiny but he’s literally ONLY that way with MC
You’re the only person he feels secure enough around to be like that with. The only person he holds close enough to be sweet and gentle to. In this world of people bastardizing and monetizing his culture, you are the exception. The only human worth his time, his effort, his gentleness.
He’s playful because he loves to play with you. Indulging in that sappy part of his heart that never got to be a child. Teasing you to see your pouty face but knowing it’ll never scare you away. That’s something all the money in the world can’t buy. Loyalty. Your loyalty to him is valuable beyond measure. Beyond reckoning,
- "can you make [alter] front?"
- always asking who's fronting
- getting upset when they can't remember something
- giving them money
- "here's $50 for you"
- relinquishing your money to them
- offering them money
Made by @deludedfools on January 7th, 2024.
Requested by @lixheng.
Credits artist @moririforever
Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Artist credits @fluffystarrie
system protip: if trying to keep track of your switches and fragments feels impossible and is driving you crazy, stop doing it. or at the very least dont put as much weight into making it perfect. you dont need to track every switch, you dont need every fragment logged. sometimes its easier to just exist as a system than drive yourself up the wall trying to micromanage everything about your complex disorder
can we talk about the darker parts of attention seeking in hpd? not just dressing up and being flirty.
let's talk about compulsively lying
let's talk about compulsively lying so much that you're not even sure if what you say is true or not
let's talk about wishing you were injured or ill for the attention
let's talk about faking injuries or illness
let's talk about purposefully injuring yourself
let's talk about putting yourself in dangerous situations by talking to sketchy people
let's talk about not knowing how to say no to those people
let's talk about involuntary trauma dumping
let's talk about socially ostracizing yourself by acting in an inappropriate way for the temporary rush of attention it gives you
let's talk about questioning your own personality, values, and morals because they get so easily shaped by whoever you're around
let's talk about how easily manipulated people with hpd are
let's talk about how easily abused people with hpd are
let's talk about vulnerable people with hpd are
let's stop this dichotomy of demonizing or romanticizing/fetishizing hpd
chuuya art after 10000 years????? i tried again with him he still is very hard to draw. But he's my special
Who would’ve guessed our colonel is a memelord
I'm trying to remember that I don't hate my friends, to remind myself that I am just hurt.
I am not wanting them to actually suffer, I just want them to know what it feels like to be ignored.
I am doing my best to acknowledge that I do not want to see them dead, that I just want them to stay and hug me.
I try to know that I am not a terrible person, while screaming at myself that I am.