Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
Itβs him
about a cofront today
i always forget that tags are important but i really. couldnt care less about this app. just show me content i like and ill rant about it and other things. this is my personal diary on the internet and i will treat it as such
i feel like a doll sitting on a shelf waiting until someone wants to play with me in order to feel alive again
Credits artist @moririforever
Please draw FlutterTwi
Flying together.. as a date maybe?
I'm trying to remember that I don't hate my friends, to remind myself that I am just hurt.
I am not wanting them to actually suffer, I just want them to know what it feels like to be ignored.
I am doing my best to acknowledge that I do not want to see them dead, that I just want them to stay and hug me.
I try to know that I am not a terrible person, while screaming at myself that I am.
kitty zayne :D
Happy birthday zayne π
- "can you make [alter] front?"
- always asking who's fronting
- getting upset when they can't remember something
- giving them money
- "here's $50 for you"
- relinquishing your money to them
- offering them money