Chuuya Art After 10000 Years????? I Tried Again With Him He Still Is Very Hard To Draw. But He's My Special

system protip: if trying to keep track of your switches and fragments feels impossible and is driving you crazy, stop doing it. or at the very least dont put as much weight into making it perfect. you dont need to track every switch, you dont need every fragment logged. sometimes its easier to just exist as a system than drive yourself up the wall trying to micromanage everything about your complex disorder

about a cofront today

I'm trying to remember that I don't hate my friends, to remind myself that I am just hurt.

I am not wanting them to actually suffer, I just want them to know what it feels like to be ignored.

I am doing my best to acknowledge that I do not want to see them dead, that I just want them to stay and hug me.

I try to know that I am not a terrible person, while screaming at myself that I am.

You are not a fake system because you can't hear your alters, most of us can't! Most people with DID have very limited communication between alters in general.

You are not a fake system because you don't know your headcount, or you don't know your alters names. That can take years! For some people, they need a long time in treatment to even get that ball rolling.

You are not a fake system because you don't know what other alters are doing. You don't need to know who dressed you this morning or who bought the food you're allergic to, high amnesia is normal.

Don't feel like any less of a system because of expectations set by the internet. You don't need to present the same way as people on the internet. The presentation of DID on the internet can be pretty atypical, so don't spend your time comparing.

NOT supportive to your system friends:

- "can you make [alter] front?"

- always asking who's fronting

- getting upset when they can't remember something

VERY supportive to your system friends:

- giving them money

- "here's $50 for you"

- relinquishing your money to them

- offering them money

can we talk about the darker parts of attention seeking in hpd? not just dressing up and being flirty.

let's talk about compulsively lying

let's talk about compulsively lying so much that you're not even sure if what you say is true or not

let's talk about wishing you were injured or ill for the attention

let's talk about faking injuries or illness

let's talk about purposefully injuring yourself

let's talk about putting yourself in dangerous situations by talking to sketchy people

let's talk about not knowing how to say no to those people

let's talk about involuntary trauma dumping

let's talk about socially ostracizing yourself by acting in an inappropriate way for the temporary rush of attention it gives you

let's talk about questioning your own personality, values, and morals because they get so easily shaped by whoever you're around

let's talk about how easily manipulated people with hpd are

let's talk about how easily abused people with hpd are

let's talk about vulnerable people with hpd are

let's stop this dichotomy of demonizing or romanticizing/fetishizing hpd

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

We part and meet, again and again - heavy hearts with little laid bare. The weight in my chest is hard to name, while your doubts fill the air. In this fleeting moment, freedom's wings are bound. And that moment has long since vanished, never to be found. Like lightning that strikes and is gone in a breath. Like fine snow falling to a river, meeting its death. Like light pouring over the tide, only to be swallowed where shadows hide. How can I witness and hold such beauty once more…? If I were to bury my heart within your sweet lips.

Justice for our homegirl and her suffering

Bsd lolita dresses (part 2)

I wont stop with Nikolai so NIKOLAI AGAIN!!!

Fyodor (again)

Chuuya

Akutagawa

RANPO

Yosano

Dazai (DEAD APPLE)

Hunting dogs

Atsushi (ignore the fact its ouji)

Kouyou

Rimbaud

Verlaine

Shibusawa

HELP I HIT THE IMAGE COUNT IM GONNA MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE STILL