“and Chance You Going Deaf From Hearing My Screams All Day? No, I Think You Chose Wisely. Plus, I Like

the problem with lili was her ego.

in this business, it proved to be her make it or break it point and for lili, she could not sacrifice herself to the masses just for a few laughs — it was below her. she loved herself far too much to make herself look dumb just to receive her awaited fifteen minutes of fame. no — she was far too talented for such a thing.

( at least, that was how lili often viewed variety-dols ; sacrificing their sanity in exchange for the automated laugh machine, it was something lili could never bring herself to do )

thankfully, she found a kindred spirit in rua — her tears ( there were no tears ) and complaints not falling on deaf ears as someone who shared lili’s very same sentiments. if anything, if lili wanted to be funny — she would find her dry humor fanatics on her own; unfortunately, dry humor did not make for amusing national entertainment. 

she looks to rua then, almost begrudgingly saying do i have to before nodding, tossing her notebook to the floor and straightening up where she had been slouched — appalling lack of poise aside — lili had been stressed out over this workshop.

“wait, wait, wait — have you already decided what skill you’re going to do? ugh — i can only go so far as using korean as my second language as funny but i don’t know what skill i have other than that and that can’t be called a skill, could it?” maybe she was overthinking it, overstressing — the workshops of the past hadn’t been this hard. lili had put her head into it and ran through it with the determination of a bull. this, this, couldn’t be handled with the same ease.

take a chance ʚ♥ɞ

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ a closed workshop starter for @lgclili、

rua honestly had some doubts about her variety potential; she didn't see herself as particularly funny, naturally or otherwise, nor was she super willing to make a fool of herself in the name of entertainment if it came down to that. sure, she could be sociable and wouldn't shy away from conversing with someone older or more senior than her in the industry but the possibility of still being boring is very real.

however, she supposes that's exactly why she was put into this workshop to begin with - to change that. was she improving though? rua wasn't quite sure but at least she wasn't alone. she looks over at lili next to her and finds it funny that they're practicing for their final evaluation together because it was like the blind leading the blind. they were trying, don't get them wrong, but nothing felt right and neither of them felt confident enough about their variety talent to point themselves in the right direction.

"okay, maybe we need to try pretending we're in a specific variety show?" rua suggests, plopping on to the floor of a practice room they had managed to reserve and grabbing her water bottle nearby to take a drink from. even if they weren't dancing, rua has to admit that she feels most comfortable here, as opposed to using something like a meeting room or elsewhere to practice. "one of us can pretend to be a mc and the other a guest, and then we'll switch roles?"

there were many things lili should be right now:

encouraging, sympathetic — even more, empathetic — a good pillar of support to a friend who was going through something that lili could only understand at surface level.

what lili should not be right now is bitter.

but her little green friend sits high on her shoulder, on a pedestal of envy that could not be toppled with something as heartfelt as ‘being a good friend’. no, lili had never been a good friend — even when she tried her hardest, at her core, she was a selfish friend who was also ambitious to a fault. so, when she sees someone else who had something that she wanted and could never get — well, something had to give.

unfortunately, lili was not a giving person.

( at least not in that way )

yujin was only being honest. and any good, trustworthy friend should be considerate to the other’s feelings. but was there anything lili could say to remedy the situation that didn’t sound so … volatile? nothing seemed to come to mind, everything that nearly dripped from her lips felt like a slap to the face waiting to happen. 

so, instead, she sighs when yujin regresses and instantly she feels a pang of guilt shoot right into her gut at how she had nearly bit the other's head off, but before she could stop herself and lessen the blow; her ugly head reared itself again, “so, you got everything you could have ever wanted, yujin, the pressure should have been expected as a trade off to debuting, right?”

there was always a give and take with these things — fame wasn’t given to the weak. "wasn’t this why we spent all this time training so that we wouldn’t break under this type of pressure?"

yujin knew how lucky she was to be in this position after failing future dreams. the doom she felt in her chest the following week was unsettling, and she started to prepare what she would do if she couldn't debut. she had trained for so many years that not debuting on that show had felt like all her hard work was starting to slip through her fingers.

to debut into crystallis, there was a new set of pressure on her shoulders, and yujin felt it from the managers and the fans, who probably weren't so pleased with the latest additions to the group. for the rest of her career, she will play catch-up with the other girls and constantly prove her worth, that she has every right to be there on that stage.

these words shamelessly slipped from the blonde's mouth to her friend, lili. she didn't want to complain or seem ungrateful, but there was something still so unsettling about her placement now. it would take time for her to get used to everything, to being an idol and in a group that was already so well established. there was always going to be some sort of struggle in this journey, but as long as she was able to get this off her chest, yujin would feel better.

well, she thought she would feel better if the tone shift didn't make yujin fidget in her seat. there was a small smile that tightened on her lip. maybe she was thinking way too much into this.

"ah, nothing... i think it was just something i needed to share with someone i trust. you work so hard to get to this point, and you never realize the amount of pressure set on you to be perfect."

HOW TO SAY I'M FUCKED IN JAPANESE? where lili probably shouldn't be in this workshop and yet, here she is — @lgcichika

she shouldn’t complain, really.

wasn’t this what she meant by she was interested in hosting — looking back, lili hadn’t really thought they would have taken such a small mention so seriously. at least, this is what she tells herself as she sits across from ichika and tries to find rational in why she was lumped into a workshop for a language she didn’t know a lick about.

still, she was no quitter, even if said workshop expected her to speak a whole-ass dialogue and such for some mock hosting gig as the evaluation. no, even then, lili was no quitter.

but — she did think they could have cut her some slack. just from the basic phrases and such that ichika had gone over in passing earlier with the rest of the group, lili was still having trouble wrapping her head around it all and this is after going over her notes thrice in the last half-hour. “i know, i suck — but i swear, i really didn’t know any japanese going into this so i think … really, i’m quite the improvement, wouldn't you agree?"

finally peace and quiet — the perfect place to dish out her grievances without the annoying coaches butting their unnecessary comments in rebuttal to lili’s own annoying complaints.

she was not some dancing monkey at the circus who could work for peanuts — or was it bananas, irrelevant! — lili needed her breaks ( and a place to complain, freely ), too. it wasn’t like she was the only one who had been idling during the break — she was in the middle of an important phone call!

( sure, it had just been a small here and there of whispered complaints to seojin about how she hated catallena with a burning passion but it wasn’t not important as one of the coaches had said — it was important to lili, there was merit in her complaints, alright! )

sliding her phone back into her pocket, she pries herself out of the restroom she had holed herself in to avoid the coaches other unmentionable and otherwise unwarranted pieces of advice when she had received maylin’s text that it was time to go back. 

faced with another trainee — so, that was who had come bustling in with the slammed door and all — lili looks her once over. noticing the slight leveling of the other’s breath, she wonders if she should intrude — the other did look like she was trying to find a moment of peace. obviously another person who couldn’t find such in the stuffy practice room — a thought lili feels induce a smirk of satisfaction, one she stamps out immediately when she notices the water on the other’s cheek.

stilling her movements, lili goes to wash her hands, quietly — trying to find leeway for a conversation, wondering if she should even start one. 

( she didn’t really care for it but lili just couldn’t help but want to pry — )

drying her hands on a paper towel, lili pretends to fuss for a second, maybe two, before she reaches for another towel and hands it to the other girl. “sarang, right?” she makes a movement with her other hand, tapping at her cheek as if to say ‘you have something on your face’. “they’re telling us that we have to head back.” 

it had just been a pretty shit day.

it started with her class, those outside of legacy. sarang wasn't sure if it was something as simple as waking up on the wrong side of the bed but she felt off from the moment she opened her eyes. that feeling only increased as she made her way through the day. but that was horrible enough but then it came to training and it felt like an out of body experience.

she thought she'd be fine with 'ah-choo' but nothing was coming together. mistakes had been made, moves missed, her voice wasn't strong enough. nothing was right and that only served to stress her out more because she hated getting things wrong. for someone who chased perfection, anything less than that was earth shattering. it didn't help that it was public either.

by the time they finally broke for a break, sarang only took a seconds of inching towards the door before she bolted for the bathroom. she headed straight for a mirror, quietly trying to talk herself down.

bad days happened but this one was rough. rough enough that she had to splash some water on her face and take the time to breathe. right now, she knew she didn't paint the prettiest of pictures, bend over the sink that she sick, breathing just a tad too heavily. it'd past, it had too. she had to get back before they started practicing.

@lgclili

two girls freezing their asses off but don’t you know a gossiping hoe never gets cold? — @lgcmaylin

ever since snow had fallen upon seoul, the chill in the city had only turned for the worse — cloaking the entirety of the peninsula in the near negatives.

and you might be asking: just why was lili subjecting herself to the very cold that was freezing her to bits?

well — there were two presentable answers for such a thing.

one.

lili needed a smoke — badly — and the designated places for such a thing lacked the common decency of having a working heater.

and two.

she needed some space to air out her grievances after the last practice with a certain coach. and oddly enough, lili thought it was tacky to talk shit about an anal coach inside the company — but outside, mere feet away from where the door had safely hit its hinges, and even further away from nosy ears, did she feel comfortable to do just that.

unfortunately, the smoke that flows from pursed lips cease within minutes of another’s arrival. the cigarette snubbed at the sudden welcome, crushed beneath a leather boot, before being replaced with a pack of gum. it wasn’t a worthy substitute but because it was maylin, lili made an exception — just because the other girl quit all those years ago didn’t mean lili would ignore the other’s hard work just to get her nerves calmed.

immediately she flies into the other’s side, arm in arm, as if to conserve whatever heat the other had brought with her. “it’s so fucking cold tonight —” she breathes, the warmth of her breath billowing out into the cold in a puff.

super late plot call for the trainee mission ! if anyone still needs a prep & activities thread, lili is free to take up a couple ! please like or reply and i’ll hop into your messages ♡

flip a coin, and you’d wonder just how two individuals have tangled themselves so far with little to tether between them. 

flip a coin, and you’ll see that these two are two sides of the same coin. both hurt, both frustrated, and yet neither seem to find it in themselves to see that same hurt and frustration in the other.

at least, in lili’s case, she’s blind to it. 

projecting, he says? sure, let’s call it that. maybe she was projecting, and she can feel the prickle of irritation spur her on as he hits the nail on it’s head. her own features flinching when she catches the most subtle curl of a grin at his lips — was he enjoying her misery?

did he liken her hurt to a game?

well — two could play at that game. she forcibly softens her gaze, the first of the two to turn away from his intense gaze as she feels a hiccup of a cry lodge itself in her throat. the prickle of tears already at the corner of her eyes. 

( god, she should’ve been an actress )

she wills them back, her eyes angled upwards as if to push said tears as far back as she could, the tension thick in her shoulders as her arms uncross and fall into her lap. “so that’s it, then? because you’re ‘not in the mood’ you don’t even want to talk to me?” it’s laughable to see all her sincerity thrown in her face. 

“and if it’s not?” she starts, her timbre falls in comparison to the snipped tone it had taken when she had first chanced upon him. the tremble in her fingers only stop when she gathers them into tiny fists, turning to him. “you know what my birthday means to me.” or — in this exact case, didn’t mean until he put meaning into it. her frown hurts, she can feel it break into her jaw as teeth clench down, as if pleading her to shut the fuck up. 

there are people on one hand that can get a reaction out of him and it's (un)fortunate that lili is one of them. if the lines of his eyes and mouth are sharper, only for her, they are right now because girl's got a prerogative, without rhyme or reason.

"you're putting words in my mouth. you're possibly.... dare i say...." the corner of his mouth threatens to move upwards, "projecting."

how did they get here to this point again? jisoo does miss when they weren't two flipside of a coin and in harmony. it seems years ago now, but apparently nobody's counting.

but if neither one of them cared, certainly they wouldn't be standing here right now. stubbornness was going to be the death of them both, and he leans down and closer to give her a curious look. he's tempted, both sides of the scale teeter and the man doesn't know whether to throw her a bone or not. but hey. he's hurt too. she doesn't have the right to push it back all on him.

"i'm not really in the mood to play guess who and what if's. is this truly about missing both our birthdays?" jisoo draws a harsh breath in, forcing his mind to clear to resist the many quips that are on the tip of his tongue.

being on her best behavior makes lili a boring girl.

and the last thing lili was — was boring.

maybe that’s why, when mischief springs into play, lili is like a moth to a flame. following her curiosity — to hell with the cat! —she wanted to find out just why this box was walking and who the fuck was hiding underneath it. there had to be a reason, right? what if there was a special prize involved?

phone in hand, lili forgoes the pictures she had been editing — the photobooth snapshots of her and maylin could wait — and follows behind the box, watching it wobble here and there until it finally stops.

and when it does, lili can only laugh as her shutter goes off with a giant, blinding flash! 

oh — was this her special prize?

“oh my god —”

or was this what they meant by good things come to those who wait? who would have known that all her effort — read: no effort — would pay off in such a way. for in her hands now lay the perfect blackmail:

han seunghyun, in all his scandalized glory, dressed up in what lili can only assume is some kind of mario brother parody — but uglier. 

and she was loving it.

“say cheese, seunghyunnie ~ or mamma mia or whatever your character says.” she laughs, taking her chance to get as many pictures as she can. 

✄ ⸻ 𝚂𝙷𝚄𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁 ;

@lgclili

Han Seunghyun does not get embarrassed.

He does, however, get so terribly humiliated that he finds his way inside a company costume party from the hidden staff entrance and hides out behind one of the abandoned non-alcoholic punch bowls with a ( confiscated - sorry, not sorry Jino ) box over his head for at least a half hour.

Why he felt so compelled to go along with this stupid bet in the first place is beyond him. This whole having morals and sticking to one's word thing was really starting to get old - Shit, footsteps.

Who dared to encroach upon his hiding place? He found it first! While silence would have been the better option, his curiosity truly does get the best of him. A little peek wouldn't hurt. Particularly if it was one of the model managers, he needed at least to know what kind of story he was going to have to concoct to explain away why he was hiding in the first -

"You."

VALENTINE INTERLUDE     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi     /     her throat was dying, after belting out to wicked’s naughty high note — broken glasses withstanding — she needed to rest. she had just given the room the best they’ve ever heard — to lili’s standards — and what she wanted was a reward for her efforts.

beelining to junyi’s side, she sits next to the younger girl, reaching for an empty glass to fill with the pink punch that was going around. the reward she wished to be collected lay at the other’s tongue: “i’m parched — how’d your white day go?” cut to the chase; lili wanted details! “some guy gave me the grossest flower arrangements, yellow daisies! do i look like a yellow daisy type of person?” 

BLANK SPACES. lili hates to bother (she doesn't, in reality, she is the bother) but desperate times call for desperate measures — @lgcrua

her head is blank. a struggle lili has never once encountered before. then again, not once had she ever thought she would be attempting to choreograph something for herself again. it’s been years since ballet school and the recitals and the long nights of endless, frustrated grueling over steps and motions that lili had thought she had put behind her.

and yet —

she stands, with her hands on her hips as she lets the song play again through her airpods; repeating the motion as languidly as possible so that she doesn’t tire herself out like all those years ago when she would just run full-throttle into every move. 

it still didn’t look right — didn’t feel right either — as she does the move thrice over. because of this — she could feel the vein in her forehead ready to pop, frustration bubbling to the surface. lili hated being wrong, but she also hated wasting her time. 

from the side she spots — rua, was it? — plucking a pod from her ear, she waves with as much finesse as she can muster despite herself, “hey — rua, right?” 

“can i get your opinion on something? i keep doing this move but i feel like it doesn’t look right.”