VALENTINE INTERLUDE     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi     /     Her Throat Was Dying, After Belting Out

“and chance you going deaf from hearing my screams all day? no, i think you chose wisely. plus, i like your ears.” her free hand reaches out to tug on an exposed lobe that wasn’t hidden by the helmet, fingertips lingering — as if relishing the heat that emitted from what was notably the warmest place on the body outside of one’s armpits but there was a hell of a chance that lili was going to shove her hands into his pits on national television. 

a brow crooks at his suggestive remarks — “a surprise? theres more? was this not all of it?”

oh, how lili loathed surprises — but her smile says otherwise; relaying a contrasted emotion: one of genuine confusion. “what could you have possibly prepared —“ she catches herself as she watches his feet shuffle into the skiis. sure, they were on a date but lili still wanted them to be safe — ski accidents were no joke!

( minkyu had to give her this — it might be the only time lili cared for someone’s well-being that wasn’t her own )

“yes! that looks about right,” she does the same, clicking her boots into place before turning to him, “so what’s this surprise down there, don’t i get a hint of some kind?”

if she had to bear with a surprise, she should at least get some clues to spark her interest.

Holding hands. Oh. They’re edging closer and closer to becoming the ultimate picture of an ultra-cute date couple - sweeter than any romance anime Minkyu has ever watched. It doesn’t feel unnatural, even if the physical closeness is new. They’re friends, after all. Regardless, he enjoys it, a soft smile tugging at his lips as his hand gently clasps hers in return.

“Luckily, while my skiing skills are lacking, I’m not afraid of heights at all,” he muses, a thoughtful hum escaping him. “Maybe I should’ve chosen an amusement park with the tallest roller coasters instead.” He laughs at the thought, lighthearted and easy.

Before long, their stop approaches, and they step off the chair lift. Ever the gentleman, Minkyu helps her down before guiding her to where they’ll get their skis ready. The air is much crisper up here, and when he glances at her, he notices the cold hasn’t left her unaffected.

“Your cheeks are so cute when they turn red like that.” he remarks with a grin before pressing his gloved hands gently to her chilled skin, offering a bit of warmth. “There’s hot chocolate waiting for us down there - aaaaaand maybe a little something special I’ve prepared as a reward for making it down in one piece.”

With that, he finally lets go, turning his focus to the skis. “We just step in until it clicks, right?”

it’s an act, she tells herself.

it’s all an act and all the world’s a stage — lili knows this.

it’s easier to remember when she knows minkyu is doing it on purpose because as much as she knows him, he knows her all too well and it would be a little too easy to reveal her cracked charade to the nation.

“let’s hope you’ll say the same after the lesson.”

her smile stays soft — the grind in her teeth hidden behind a gentle curve of fulls lips and a flutter of eyelashes, a bat here; another there. the picture of enthrallment, as if minkyu’s charm had truly had her smitten until her insides fluttered — or churned, whatever best describes the millisecond of queasiness she feels as he finishes off her laces. 

( is this how it felt to be the eye of someone’s unparalleled attention? )

“hold on, minkyu-ssi!” she laughs, the fingers that had slyly wrapped his pull him back; reaching for the helmets they had left by their feet at the bench — “don’t forget your helmet,” by first instinct, lili would have held the helmet to minkyu for him to take — but through helpful pressured guidance of the cameras all around him, she, instead, steps towards him and carefully places the helmet on his head; toying with the straps to secure it firmly beneath his chin, “let’s not get hurt today, okay?”

Oh, he knows. He knows all too well that Lili is quietly fuming over his decision to choose skiing. He knows her well enough to be certain that, under normal circumstances, she would be scolding him right now, perhaps even nagging just a little.

But that’s precisely what makes this so amusing. Watching her tuck away that sharp tongue of hers, replacing it with the angelic, patient, and ever-so-loving demeanor she wants the cameras to capture; it’s a performance in itself. A carefully crafted image, all in favor of being adored by viewers.

“I am in luck indeed,” he finally responds when she mentions that she knows how to ski. His eyes crinkle at the corners, and he grins up at her with a sweetness so genuine it could melt the iciest of hearts. That look; the one he knows makes fans weak, the one he always has when he’s with those he cherishes. Complete attention, unwavering devotion, as if nothing else in the world exists but the person in front of him.

In this moment, the cameras fade into the background. His focus is solely on easing Lili into her ski boots, hands grazing her legs only when necessary, careful and respectful, like the kind gentleman he is. “I couldn’t imagine a better teacher than you.”

This may be a show, but to Minkyu, it’s something more. It’s a challenge they set for each other: a playful game of who could outdo the other in delivering the most heart-fluttering, drama-worthy moments. Yet, as the minutes pass, he finds himself forgetting the game entirely, instead surrendering to his natural instinct to romanticize every fleeting moment.

He doesn’t miss the subtle squeeze on his shoulder. If anything, it makes his smile soften, a flicker of something almost bashful in his expression.

Shifting to sit beside her, he quickly secures his own boots, giving them a firm pat before meeting her gaze again. “I’m all good, thank you.” And then, he rises, extending his hand to her, fingers curling just slightly in invitation.

“Shall we?” He nods toward the slope. “I can’t wait to see the skiing princess in action with my very own eyes.”

໒꒱ .  TRAINEE MISSION # 16 、INTERVIEW .

lili had never been the spill your guts, vulnerable in front of the camera kind of person.

but she likens this scenario as a part to play. a role she must succeed to in order to get to where she must. and where that place is is where people liked that vulnerable in front of the camera, spill your silly guts kind of crap. 

so, lili does what she can — musters up the silly little guts that would get her somewhat of a good standing and puts on that darling, pretty smile her grandma loves.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT FOR TODAY ?

“my favorite? it has to be —” she racks her brain for something memorable that happened today: she had almost fell in chicken shit — it literally was everywhere, it was probably all up in the grooves of her boots — the smell was permanently stuck in her nose no matter what jaekyung had tried, she was tired — lili did not want to revisit such a memory. and yet, here she re-tells the tale like it was some funny comedic sketch that had brought her to her tears in joy and jest. a darling smile brought to her lips even if the only thing she wished to say was that she was thankful that the day was finally over. “getting to see all the cute chickens, we even got to see some eggs hatch in the incubator, it was really cool. i’ve never seen that before.”

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CHALLENGE GIVEN TO YOUR TEAM ?

“hard.” probably the most truthful thing she’ll utter this weekend — and it was only friday. despite grinning and bearing it for what she could, today had really done a number for her. “bearing through the chicken coop was … an experience, i was honestly kind of scared — i thought the chickens would attack us. can you imagine getting chased by a chicken?” she shudders at the horror of the thought, for effect.

WHO DID YOU FEEL YOU GOT CLOSER TO ?

she pauses, thinking about it for a good second. even if most of the day she had stuck herself, like glue, to jiah, lili couldn’t deny that there had been quite a number of trainees she had inadvertently gotten closer to. not that she could help it, in between biting her tongue at the complaints that wished spill from her tongue, she knew the others could tell she was having a hard time and, in the end, was thankful for those who helped to make her dire experience even just a sniff better. “i’d say jaekyung? she even offered her towel to me when she saw that i was struggling.” sure, lili was being a tad bit dramatic but the stench was truly nauseating, the viewers would be glad they’d didn’t see lili hurl.

WHAT WAS ONE LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED FROM THIS EXPERIENCE ?

nothing. lili learned absolutely nothing — she wished to say, but knows that isn’t what they came here for. that that wasn’t what the viewers wanted to hear. so instead, lili works the courage of what a menial, less troublesome, more humble person would think: she knew no one of this manner so she was struggling but she makes do — “that it’s good for all of us to take a moment to slow down and feel the wind in our hair.” something like that, right?

“all the aunties here were super cute, too, maybe their fashion sense here is another lesson to remember.” 

໒꒱ . MODELING GIG # 003 _ AURORA REVIEW 、

one would think that lili’s first thought of being selected for a model for a brand would be of course it would be me — but you could not be anymore wrong.

she is surprised, so much so that she doesn’t believe it at first. 

being selected as a brand model is an honor — not a right — truly a privilege bestowed upon her by some higher power — was it jisoo? or had it been pure luck? — that lili had no hand in. and this is what stumps her — the go-getter in her is baffled that such a prestige just lands in her hands. 

( because lili knows —

seen it,

lived it,

had the deepest of traumas to prove it,

nothing is really that easy )

putting her feelings into words had never been easy. even now, she has yet to exclusively apologize to jisoo for things she knows she’s done, and if she were being honest, she probably will never really give him the apology he deserves. so, asking to put her feelings on the matter into words as so under the guise of reviewing the video of the brand’s overall concept as done through the eyes of its creator, lili may be a little less obliged to speak.

but — since it is lili — she has things to say, even if she doesn’t truly wish for them to be said.

“i like it.” she says at first, as if testing out how the compliment tastes on the tongue. it’s not bad — maybe because it’s not ingenuine. “it has an understated elegance that you would usually feel with an older standing brand.” a remark that flatters the brand for understanding its roots and not straying from it. 

“han jisoo-씨 has quite the eye.” would she have utter it to his face? would he hear these words from others? would lili have preferred it if he did? “i’m glad i was given the chance to be a part of this, i don’t know what other brand i could identify more with. i might even buy something for my grandmother.” another keepsake her grandmother would say she cherishes only to be thrown to the back of her wardrobe with the rest of lili’s unnecessary gifts to the matriarch. 

“or maybe i’ll buy one for myself.” a testament to a triumph she'd like to remember for later.

BY GOOD WILL OR GOOD LUCK? is this lili being nice or is it just luck? — @lgckyoka

one would think — if you’ve been through one thing, something similar to it would be a breeze?

well, to lili, she’d say you were dead wrong. 

( because no two things could be the same, there was always something different )

thankfully, this was not one of those times — these were one of the times she’s able to bless her lucky stars for being so god-damned, four-leaf clover lucky. but perhaps luck had nothing to do with it — because, again, if you’ve been through one thing, you’ve been through it all. 

and since lili had painstakingly gone through grueling work to learn japanese just for some mock hosting gig that never saw the light of day — to do it again, but in korean — a language she would say she was a little more than familiar with, well — lili would tell you she just won the lottery.

that is how lucky she thinks such a task is.

a breeze, it would be — despite her initial belief ( read above ) — because wasn’t hosting all about self confidence? and apparently, lili had that in spades.

and by her good fortune — maybe she was feeling nice or maybe she felt bad for kyoka — she saddles up next to the other after an afternoon lesson, glancing over at the other’s notes before pointing at a phrase she notices with her sparkly pink pen. 

“is this what you wrote for the exercise earlier? the one about improvising a music show scene?”

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

angel of mine  ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱  

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

they play their own game of pick and choose — his comments on the masses do little to appeal her to go out of her way to ask for another favor from another person she would rather not spend a second of her time with.

the thought, itself, made her moment here with seunghyun seem the slightest bit more bearable than any of the other options made available. at least she wouldn’t get hit on, proposed to, and/or suddenly arranged to be married. all of things she was trying to avoid with seunghyun’s mother — but her way with words was all too tempting. 

her eyes follow his line of sight to a woman in dangerously tall heels and a purse that looked like it was from marry poppin’s on xanax. “oh, she seems to love you.” then she frowns, eyes redirected to his seemingly nonchalance. “what ish? does she get nicer whenever she gets a touch up on her migrating zyderm?” lili was more preferential to eating her duck rather than seeing it on the face of some over-aged mistress.

Seunghyun snorts. "Nothing? Nothing at all? What a shame..." He knew so little about Lili other than his mother's infatuation with her bone structure - but she was beginning to seem a lot more foolish than she looked. Who would subject themselves to an evening of this willingly?

He bends to swipe at his pant leg with a subtle scowl, rising up to cross his arms over his chest. He eyes the elder waddling this way and that by the terrace's edge, muttering something to himself.

"Do you know who that is?" the model asks with a quirk of his brow. "New appointee on the board of directors at Hanhwa group. Total basket case. If I even so much as say hello I'm going to be stuck listening to him babble on for the next three hours..."

He scans the area for a moment, spying a woman frantically searching through her purse. He can't quite put a finger on it but she seems so familiar... They lock eyes and she frowns almost immediately. Oh, that's right. One of his mother's acquaintances whose shifting filler he just found so interesting ( and often commented on it quite loudly ). "Why don't you ask her? She's friendly. ...Ish."

Euphoria (2019—) Created by Sam Levinson

i know you don’t speak my language but i love the way she’s talking to me   —   @lgcamelia, april '21.

it’s one of those days. 

the days where lili couldn’t be fucked to do anything the coaches asked of her — they’d told her time and time again that she should be pushing herself, that securing her spot in whatever choreography they were currently going through wasn’t enough — that she should be front and center, present and determined to do what it takes to prove that she wasn’t going to do the same things she had done at her last company.

as if whatever she had done at said company had warranted such treatment.

( sure she flaked on debut but did that mean she was a flake — lili liked to think not )

so, it comes again — probably the fourth time today — that a coach comes and goes, exasperated at lili’s reeling and appalling plethora of excuses. once more using the — ‘sorry, can’t understand’ — to her advantage.

that is until a trainee — who obviously could understand her — is suddenly brought to the helm and into the throes of lili’s obnoxious display of unintentional rebellion. fuck, there goes her fun.

when the girl comes to her, lili only raises a brow in amused surprise, “huh — that was quick. didn’t think they would send in plan b so soon.” she says in mandarin, flicking the plastic spoon that held the last bites of her yogurt back into its cup. 

the problem with lili was her ego.

in this business, it proved to be her make it or break it point and for lili, she could not sacrifice herself to the masses just for a few laughs — it was below her. she loved herself far too much to make herself look dumb just to receive her awaited fifteen minutes of fame. no — she was far too talented for such a thing.

( at least, that was how lili often viewed variety-dols ; sacrificing their sanity in exchange for the automated laugh machine, it was something lili could never bring herself to do )

thankfully, she found a kindred spirit in rua — her tears ( there were no tears ) and complaints not falling on deaf ears as someone who shared lili’s very same sentiments. if anything, if lili wanted to be funny — she would find her dry humor fanatics on her own; unfortunately, dry humor did not make for amusing national entertainment. 

she looks to rua then, almost begrudgingly saying do i have to before nodding, tossing her notebook to the floor and straightening up where she had been slouched — appalling lack of poise aside — lili had been stressed out over this workshop.

“wait, wait, wait — have you already decided what skill you’re going to do? ugh — i can only go so far as using korean as my second language as funny but i don’t know what skill i have other than that and that can’t be called a skill, could it?” maybe she was overthinking it, overstressing — the workshops of the past hadn’t been this hard. lili had put her head into it and ran through it with the determination of a bull. this, this, couldn’t be handled with the same ease.

take a chance ʚ♥ɞ

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ a closed workshop starter for @lgclili、

rua honestly had some doubts about her variety potential; she didn't see herself as particularly funny, naturally or otherwise, nor was she super willing to make a fool of herself in the name of entertainment if it came down to that. sure, she could be sociable and wouldn't shy away from conversing with someone older or more senior than her in the industry but the possibility of still being boring is very real.

however, she supposes that's exactly why she was put into this workshop to begin with - to change that. was she improving though? rua wasn't quite sure but at least she wasn't alone. she looks over at lili next to her and finds it funny that they're practicing for their final evaluation together because it was like the blind leading the blind. they were trying, don't get them wrong, but nothing felt right and neither of them felt confident enough about their variety talent to point themselves in the right direction.

"okay, maybe we need to try pretending we're in a specific variety show?" rua suggests, plopping on to the floor of a practice room they had managed to reserve and grabbing her water bottle nearby to take a drink from. even if they weren't dancing, rua has to admit that she feels most comfortable here, as opposed to using something like a meeting room or elsewhere to practice. "one of us can pretend to be a mc and the other a guest, and then we'll switch roles?"