there were many things lili should be right now:
encouraging, sympathetic — even more, empathetic — a good pillar of support to a friend who was going through something that lili could only understand at surface level.
what lili should not be right now is bitter.
but her little green friend sits high on her shoulder, on a pedestal of envy that could not be toppled with something as heartfelt as ‘being a good friend’. no, lili had never been a good friend — even when she tried her hardest, at her core, she was a selfish friend who was also ambitious to a fault. so, when she sees someone else who had something that she wanted and could never get — well, something had to give.
unfortunately, lili was not a giving person.
( at least not in that way )
yujin was only being honest. and any good, trustworthy friend should be considerate to the other’s feelings. but was there anything lili could say to remedy the situation that didn’t sound so … volatile? nothing seemed to come to mind, everything that nearly dripped from her lips felt like a slap to the face waiting to happen.
so, instead, she sighs when yujin regresses and instantly she feels a pang of guilt shoot right into her gut at how she had nearly bit the other's head off, but before she could stop herself and lessen the blow; her ugly head reared itself again, “so, you got everything you could have ever wanted, yujin, the pressure should have been expected as a trade off to debuting, right?”
there was always a give and take with these things — fame wasn’t given to the weak. "wasn’t this why we spent all this time training so that we wouldn’t break under this type of pressure?"
yujin knew how lucky she was to be in this position after failing future dreams. the doom she felt in her chest the following week was unsettling, and she started to prepare what she would do if she couldn't debut. she had trained for so many years that not debuting on that show had felt like all her hard work was starting to slip through her fingers.
to debut into crystallis, there was a new set of pressure on her shoulders, and yujin felt it from the managers and the fans, who probably weren't so pleased with the latest additions to the group. for the rest of her career, she will play catch-up with the other girls and constantly prove her worth, that she has every right to be there on that stage.
these words shamelessly slipped from the blonde's mouth to her friend, lili. she didn't want to complain or seem ungrateful, but there was something still so unsettling about her placement now. it would take time for her to get used to everything, to being an idol and in a group that was already so well established. there was always going to be some sort of struggle in this journey, but as long as she was able to get this off her chest, yujin would feel better.
well, she thought she would feel better if the tone shift didn't make yujin fidget in her seat. there was a small smile that tightened on her lip. maybe she was thinking way too much into this.
"ah, nothing... i think it was just something i needed to share with someone i trust. you work so hard to get to this point, and you never realize the amount of pressure set on you to be perfect."