The Problem With Lili Was Her Ego.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

happy international women’s day 💝 to all the hot and powerful women, it’s your day so treat yourself to something nice on me ✨

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

“it’s —“ a pause, her finger dangles in mid-air as she tries to find the name among her memories — fuck, now would be the worse time to admit she was bad at names, wouldn’t it? “it’s — she was in our korean language lesson yesterday … she dyed her hair that really odd color of green.” it was ash blonde but after swimming in a chlorinated pool …. yikes.

“what’s her name again —“ it was literally on the tip of her tongue, which was now bitten between her teeth as she tries harder to come up with the name. fuck, was anyone else this forgetful?

“faking their birthday?” now that kyoka mentions it —  “didn’t a company make their whole girlgroup fake their birthdays to match some type of group concept?” she could have sworn she saw something pass through the netizen forums about such a thing.

Damn, she really needs to get with the times it seems. Kyoka didn’t realize there was a 04/04/04 birthday in the Legacy population. “Who? That birthday doesn’t ring a bell for me, not right now at least.”

It’s a shame though, that they’re apparently just missing out on 03/03/03. Kyoka thinks it would’ve been funnier if they had a consecutive series of those birthdays, and she says at much. “Imagine if they put us all in the same group,” she adds between mouthfuls, “Too bad about the missing 03/03/03. But no one’s stopping anyone from faking their birthday I guess.” She has no idea about how that works logistically, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. Or so she thinks.

lili had never thought her social battery was one with a limit — but today, it seemed to exist in bursts. teetering on its last legs as she lets zoe’s drawl come in one ear with a nod and a small, passing smile when it goes out the other. it wasn’t that she was tired or anything but there was only so much energy could exert and unfortunately, much of it had been placed on emphasis when for the first time in the last four hours she had finally tried to try her luck in selling these goddamn soap bars that just were not their consumer’s target product today.

soap — she thinks, while sipping on the cup of juice she had snatched up from emi earlier — why had it been soap?

“mm,” she says in reply, setting her cup beside her on the bench. biting her tongue when zoe mentions luck — and sure, maybe the others did have luck on their side. even if the unspoken advantage was a tell-tale sign of it all. 

“grace, huh?”

losing with grace had never been her style but lili liked that that was how it seemed despite everything. 

“i wouldn’t be hyping up the food too much, if it’s anything like yesterday, the food will probably not be to the best expectations.” again, lili was not looking forward to being dressed to her elbows in misplaced vegetable chunks that did not make it onto the cutting board. her heel kicks gently at the ground with a small wry laugh, “you’d think because it’s our last day they’d treat us to a nice meal, i could really go for some ginseng chicken soup.” 

she didn’t want to complain — scratch that, this was lili — all she did was complain. 

♥︎ ╱ ꜱᴜɴᴅᴀʏ - ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ? ⤿ ꜰᴛ. @lgclili

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♥︎

Zoe leaned back against the weathered wooden bench, relishing a moment of calm amid the bustling marketplace. The frenetic energy of the morning's sales still echoed in her mind, but now, with a satisfied smile, she turned her attention to Lili. She had seen her around Legacy before, so Zoe was grateful to get a chance to talk with her really.

"Can you believe how quickly today flew by? Team Juice really nailed it!" Zoe exclaimed, a glimmer of triumph in her eyes. She felt a swell of pride for their team's success, knowing they had earned a well-deserved break while the other teams took over the cooking duties.

Glancing at Lili, Zoe acknowledged her friend's efforts. "I guess luck was just on our side today," she remarked, reaching for her water bottle to quench her thirst. "But hey, don't stress too much about it. You did fantastic out there, and now we get to enjoy a scrumptious meal thanks to Team Soap Bar!"

Zoe's curiosity got the better of her as they continued chatting over their lunch. "By the way, how was your challenge with selling soap bars?" she asked, genuinely interested in Lili's experience. "I know it was a tough crowd out there, but you always handle it with grace."

🥺 💗

FILE: LILI _ PLOT CALL _ q2

SUB: EVENT

⤷  RE: TRAINEE MISSION 017

preparation thread: open !

bonus thread: with anyone i haven’t threaded with yet ~ !

⤷  RE: WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITY 002

lili is open for plots ~ she is gonna struggle hard b/c 1) she knows 0 japanese and 2) hosting is probably her weakest skill

BLANK SPACES. lili hates to bother (she doesn't, in reality, she is the bother) but desperate times call for desperate measures — @lgcrua

her head is blank. a struggle lili has never once encountered before. then again, not once had she ever thought she would be attempting to choreograph something for herself again. it’s been years since ballet school and the recitals and the long nights of endless, frustrated grueling over steps and motions that lili had thought she had put behind her.

and yet —

she stands, with her hands on her hips as she lets the song play again through her airpods; repeating the motion as languidly as possible so that she doesn’t tire herself out like all those years ago when she would just run full-throttle into every move. 

it still didn’t look right — didn’t feel right either — as she does the move thrice over. because of this — she could feel the vein in her forehead ready to pop, frustration bubbling to the surface. lili hated being wrong, but she also hated wasting her time. 

from the side she spots — rua, was it? — plucking a pod from her ear, she waves with as much finesse as she can muster despite herself, “hey — rua, right?” 

“can i get your opinion on something? i keep doing this move but i feel like it doesn’t look right.” 

XU LILI '01 / B. BEIJING, RAISED IN LA .

hellooooooo ~ this is nini again with a second character who's definitely a whole 180 approach from jino lol. took me a while to get an intro up because end of the year things kept me busy ! and i was also still trying to figure out how best to explain little miss lili here ~ but nevertheless, we're here now and down below you can get a good idea of this gal who is both bite and bark and will very much prove it !!! but i promise she can be nice even if it comes off haughty and self-serving so please like if you'd like to plot ♡

TL;DR signed jul. 2020, female senior morning group, female dorm a; self-serving, self-absorbed and overly self-concious? yet deep, deep, deep down she has a heart of gold? just got to dig deep enough underneath all her generational trauma lol

BACKGROUND

born li yifei, her name was legally changed to xu yifei when she got adopted by her grandmother / it was further changed when she gained dual citizenship through her grandmother when she moved her to los angeles -> now she goes by xu lili

her parents were a love that burned hot but burned out fast kind of relationship

also didn't help that her dad and mom were from starkly different social brackets that when her grandmother strongly opposed the marriage, her mother got disowned and left to be with her husband

but when the marriage ultimately fell apart, in a last ditch effort, they had lili

for a while it worked until the pains of motherhood, marriage and poverty got too much and when she turned 5, her parents divorced: her mother got her and her father got his freedom back — apparently that meant never seeing lili again, too

a year after her divorce, her mother met a new man (richer, older) and started a new family alongside that man’s children from a prev. marriage. by the time she was 7, lili was brought back to her grandmother’s and like her father, that would be the last she’d see of her mother

being adopted by her grandmother was a start to a new life, adapting to a new environment and learning that love wasn’t just given: it was earned

her grandmother was the owner of a real estate investment / development group; a woman of high expectations and most of all, showed love like how she did business: she expected results in return for her nurture

in the case of lili: her grandmother enrolled her into all the best programs, nurtured her love for performing, and expected the excellence that proceeded from the investment

but excellence can only go so far with natural talent, lili had the talent but in comparison to her peers, she didn’t have the it needed to take her far, something she learns when she receives no offers to continue her ballet career

( 2017 ) instead, she looks elsewhere to continue her love, to find adoration elsewhere is null when her grandmother is pressuring her for results: she auditions for a company in la and passes; suddenly she’s on a flight to korea and training to debut in a girl group of some unknown company

just when she was about to debut, her grandmother ends up sick and she went home when she was supposed to be practicing/preparing for debut

( 2020 ) she ends up getting dropped from the debut lineup upon return (and still has the audacity to be sad about it) ~

she joins lgc in jul. 2020 after getting dropped from debut and consequently the label

TIDBITS

much prefers to be called lili

was quiet and withdrawn as a kid because of her parental troubles, only was able to really fully express herself through performing

because of that she was able to come out of her shell, however, it was falsified by the desperate need of validation and her inherent ego that waged a war with her insecurities 

has imposter syndrome, so she on the low sabotages herself

such as when she was supposed to debut, she knew what was at stake but still left -> her grandmother didn’t even appreciate her visiting when she was sick, instead she was told to go back to korea and finish what she started

headstrong and stubborn, her grandmother had brought her up to say what was on her mind and not care about others -> it only made her selfish and self-serving

a bit of a tsundere, if you squint but i swear it’s there, she’s not used to people being overly affectionate to her and is very rarely affectionate; will be the one to give an awkward shoulder pat when comforting

honestly because of her parents she doesn't believe in love, thinks it's superficial, thinks lust is also dumb but what can a girl do when she has needs 💅 might also think she's hard to love / doesn't deserve it because of her trauma from her parents and her grandmother

is 100% right, always, even when she is 100% wrong — will argue why she’s right

she likes being as she says ~ playful ~ and riling people up and causing friction, call it what you will but i think it’s the attention-seeker in her thinking that even if she can’t get people to like her, if they’re irritated, that means they have to be thinking about her still? right ???

ambitious to a fault, she will do what she needs to do to get where she wants to, even if that means burning some bridges

her grandmother had taught her to learn to control her emotions, but what can we say, she’s an open book and if she’s not on a default rbf — she’s giving face

v relationship phobe - more or less will keep one at arms’ length; the type to make you think you’re close but you don’t really know much about her 

will get out of everything and anything but saying she doesn’t speak korean / can’t understand what you’re saying

does not like pity, will not stand to be pitied

smokes like a chimney, we know its bad !!! but girl is stressed !!! and when she’s stressed !! she smokes !!

vain, superficial and far too outgoing and confrontational for her own good (can’t be me lmfao) and will 100% tell you what’s on her mind without prompt

she is an enabler, she will enable you 100% to make bad choices

she only cares about her grandmother really because it’s her validation she seeks the most but lbr she seeks validation everywhere in everyone and that’s kind of her ruin because she also has foot in her mouth syndrome and a temper 😵‍💫

PLOT HOLES

⤷  honestly give me everything ! we want drama, friction ! friends who try to dip deep, friends who make her angry ! friends who are obviously surface friends but want to be more ! friends who care but are annoyed with lili's aloof attitude ! friends who are no longer friends ! rivals !!!!! i'll take everything and anything anyone comes up with

NOTE

⤷   also i should have her profile with a proper bio finished soon ~ sorry about that xx

“please.” she nearly whines.

picture this: lili — a woman who held all the grace and poise in the world in a singular fingernail. now throw all that grace and poise out the window and replace it with contempt and a blood-thirst for revenge then you’d have the xu lili of today, or more precisely, of right now.

she groans as she feels asami pull her up with all the strength she could muster. “these little urchin — i mean gremli — kids thought it’d be funny to give me a nudge,” that was putting it kindly. feeling herself unsteady at the soles, she uses asami’s shoulder to steady herself before letting go of the other woman’s hand with a grim smile — ‘smile’, really, because lili had nothing to smile about because the kids who tried to unalive her were literally standing beside them looking as disappointed as ever at their failed attempt. 

“now that wasn't nice, right, kids?” she asks a bit more sternly than she should before asami’s comment catches up with her and a hand flies to her head, lips dropping open in horror — “what? oh no — what’s wrong with it?” her hand immediately combs through it, hoping that nothing had caught into the strands. 

Here, surrounded by stuffed animals, all Asami could think about was her niece and if her brother had given her the stuffed bear, she got her when she was born. She’s more than six months old now, certainly a kid could be trusted to have one of those without suffocating or something, right?

Helping the kids felt like a good way to practice, to be honest, since Asami doesn’t have a lot of time to go back to Tokyo and actively participate in her niece’s life. She must learn how to me an aunt sooner rather than later, after all, and volunteering, despite not being her first choice for a Saturday activity, wasn’t all that bad. She enjoys being around children, and after the birth of little miss Mayumi, her liking of the little ones has seemed to increase theoretically. With her busy schedule, it’s not like she sees children all that often after all.

Asami is only pulled out of her reverie when she hears someone ask for help, and she wishes it was easier to find the source, but it really wasn’t since the stuffed animals, “Hi, uhm, I just need a second,” Asami says as she tries looking and see if any of the children are of any help. They aren’t. She must definitely look a little too silly, and she definitely looked comical like a cartoon character when she found the person in need because her mouth opened in a perfect O shape. “Lili unnie, my god, how did you end up there?” Asami offers her a hand and pulls her up. Despite her best instincts, Asami lets herself smile a little, “your hair is all over the place. I hope you didn’t land on leftover candy. Can I help you?”

໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 15 、

round and round it goes.

where it stops — no one knows. 

she pulls the string once more, ricocheting the top into the floor. the clatter it makes as it hits the ground does not strip her from her reverie, irises hypnotized by the spin and pull of the game. finally a game that she had a knack at — that didn’t require her to think or to do or to ace at the first go. all it took was a pull of the twine and the top would fall apart from her fingertips. ready to split the ground beneath it as it run amok around them. 

and run it does, running in circles from point a to point z. never in the same place, its center of gravity teetering fast until it tilts a little too far on one side, collapsing upon itself as it topples. a pause in the game as she snatches it up to start all over again. 

again, it’ll spin round and round.

where it stops — her eyes will go.

follow it until the end, like an expectant child would to a mother.

or like what she believes an expectant child would do in the presence of one it fawned over. lili would no know better. like the top, she finds herself spinning and spinning — fast and furious through the lanes of people, around people, through people, continuing on until her own center of gravity tilts — and she stops, 

all to begin again.

because like a top, lili finds herself adjusting — forcing herself to acclimate to places unfamiliar, submerging head first into a game she doesn’t know, but must learn in order to survive. 

like a top, she’ll spin — spin and spin because she’s at the mercy of someone else.

the top pivots at the will of her pull, like she bends for the validation of others. begging for acceptance, vying for a win amongst the multitude of losses just stacked against her. 

fingers pull at the string once more.

and again, she’ll spin — spin, spin.

round and round, it goes.

where she’ll stop? no one knows. 

“hypothetically!” lili adds after the fact. though, despite herself, fiery temperament and all, lili did know how to be professional. and the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass herself — and sure, by extension jisoo, as well — in front of people she could very well work with again in the future. one could never know what the future had in store, building roots rather than burning bridges should be her main priority.

( even if lili was too good at burning bridges, today she’ll play nice )

“don’t worry, i’ll be good.”

if being good meant putting her pretty smile, only to complain to jisoo’s ear after the shoot, then yes — lili will be oh so good.

“the face is off limits but who said the ribs or the ankles couldn’t take a kick or two?” she’s joking, now, obviously. lili would rather admit defeat than risk breaking a nail, or worse, getting a scar on any part of her. 

call her surprised; a brow raising in expectation at his words. “is this really the han jisoo? or has some alien taken over your body? or maybe you’re a business-minded double?” anything she wanted? oh, where has this jisoo been all her life? willfully ignoring the 'within reason' addition, she smiles, “really — anything at all?”

if there's anyone that can provoke a reaction out of him, there's two people that up in his mind, and one of them is lili. for sure! headlining the main act : li yifei. congratutions. "now why would you be starting a fight in the middle of a shoot, if not on purpose." there's a finger at his temple, and jisoo allows her to have this sigh that escapes from his throat unwillingly.

there's some silence between them as jisoo simply stares at lili, unsure of how to even entertain or respond to this. comedic reply? or a stern reply? "i'll pull haru out of there myself if i have to, no black eyes allowed for anyone. some arguing back and forth? by all means, get into it emotionally if you have to. makes for better content. or something like that." of course, out of earshot of anyone else, who could hear him encouraging a disagreement. he's sure that neither of the starring parties would let it get that far.

"if there's something that will make you behave, speak it aloud and if i can make it happen, i will. do you want something on set? or off set? i can have it delivered if," emphasis on if, jisoo says with enunciation, "if its within reason."