Cordelia: Why Are You Lying On The Floor?

Cordelia: Why are you lying on the floor?

Alastair: I have depression

Cordelia: Oh-

Alastair: I have also been stabbed three times

Cordelia: oH-

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More Posts from Lasthourstid and Others

lasthourstid

4 years ago

Will: Family, I want you to meet my falcon. I'm a falconer now.

James: And yet for Christmas I got a wrapped scrambled egg.

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33 notes View Post

lasthourstid

5 years ago

Tessa to James: You don't "take a run" at a woman. You "woo" her. Make her feel special!

Will: *enters the room*

Will: Hey, hon. Take a look at this. It's a picture of my butt!

Tessa: ...

Tessa to James: And then, when you get her, you can tell her whatever you want.

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lasthourstid

4 years ago

Kit: Not to brag

Kit: but I solved a puzzle in 2 weeks

Kit: and the box said 2-4 years

Ty:

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lasthourstid

4 years ago

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lasthourstid

4 years ago

Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years

Will: Dead

Tessa: Let’s think positive!

Jem: We will all have a nice house-

Will: … 6 feet under ground

Tags

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72 notes View Post

lasthourstid

4 years ago

Raziel: Did you give Johnny Rook the bison as I told?

Angel: Wait, what?

Raziel: The bison, so that he can shoot it and get his anger issues out...?

Angel: The bi son...

Raziel: The bison...

Angel: Bi son

Raziel: B i s o n

Angel: B i - S o n

Tags

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400 notes View Post

lasthourstid

4 years ago

Will: I’d like to phone a friend

Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-

Will: I know, I just miss Jem already

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lasthourstid

5 years ago

Henry: Do you want a cup of tea? Milk is in the fridge.

Henry: Where else to put your milk?

Henry: But there's a windowsill outside.

Henry: I always thought if I invented the windowsill with special compartments - you know, one for milk, one for yoghurt - I could get a lot of money.

Henry: I probably should write that down...

Everyone else:

Henry: Do You Want A Cup Of Tea? Milk Is In The Fridge.

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lasthourstid

5 years ago

Will, on the phone: We just kinda bonked James' head. It wasn't really very hard and he's not acting differently. I'm just worried-

Cecily: Relax, it happens. Christopher used to bang his head all the time and he's fine.

Will: OK, alright. Thanks, it helps. OK.

Will, whispering to Tessa: We gotta take him to the doctor.

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41 notes View Post

lasthourstid

4 years ago

Will: How about have a seat? Maybe you'd like a glass of water?

Matthew: Anything with a little more kick?

Will: Seriously, Matthew, you're in my office.

Matthew: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking-

Will, pouring whisky in two glasses: You want ice, you're out of luck.

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