Cordelia: Why are you lying on the floor?
Alastair: I have depression
Cordelia: Oh-
Alastair: I have also been stabbed three times
Cordelia: oH-
Will: Family, I want you to meet my falcon. I'm a falconer now.
James: And yet for Christmas I got a wrapped scrambled egg.
Tessa to James: You don't "take a run" at a woman. You "woo" her. Make her feel special!
Will: *enters the room*
Will: Hey, hon. Take a look at this. It's a picture of my butt!
Tessa: ...
Tessa to James: And then, when you get her, you can tell her whatever you want.
Kit: Not to brag
Kit: but I solved a puzzle in 2 weeks
Kit: and the box said 2-4 years
Ty:
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Raziel: Did you give Johnny Rook the bison as I told?
Angel: Wait, what?
Raziel: The bison, so that he can shoot it and get his anger issues out...?
Angel: The bi son...
Raziel: The bison...
Angel: Bi son
Raziel: B i s o n
Angel: B i - S o n
Will: I’d like to phone a friend
Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-
Will: I know, I just miss Jem already
Henry: Do you want a cup of tea? Milk is in the fridge.
Henry: Where else to put your milk?
Henry: But there's a windowsill outside.
Henry: I always thought if I invented the windowsill with special compartments - you know, one for milk, one for yoghurt - I could get a lot of money.
Henry: I probably should write that down...
Everyone else:
Will, on the phone: We just kinda bonked James' head. It wasn't really very hard and he's not acting differently. I'm just worried-
Cecily: Relax, it happens. Christopher used to bang his head all the time and he's fine.
Will: OK, alright. Thanks, it helps. OK.
Will, whispering to Tessa: We gotta take him to the doctor.
Will: How about have a seat? Maybe you'd like a glass of water?
Matthew: Anything with a little more kick?
Will: Seriously, Matthew, you're in my office.
Matthew: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking-
Will, pouring whisky in two glasses: You want ice, you're out of luck.
Why pick one favorite character when you can simply adopt every single one of them (except for the Dearborns, they go straight into the trashcan)?
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